Posts by fairchild

Again you are bringing a smile to my face. Point taken about 'the world' not being so bad that we shoud be afraid to open our front doors. But I have to admit that people have always scared me in a way, and this was long before I had ever heard of JW's. I live way in the middle of nowhere, right in what they call 'bear country'. People are amazed that I can spend days in the woods all by myself, with only a hunting knife to defend myself in case of an emergency. I have seen bears at arm's length, and that doesn't scare me as much as going to walmart once a month to do my grocery shopping.

You are right that decisions made in desperation are not usually the right decision, and don't worry, I will read and read and read!

Sleep well, outoftheorg (gosh I love that name)

108

My story, please read

by fairchild in

jw
friends

first of all, thank you very much for taking the time to read this.

i hope that i am putting this in the right forum.. .

i studied as much about different religions as i could and read every book available to me.

fairchild

Hi again happy guy,

I tried to quote your second comment here, but don't know how to do this. Copying didn't work.

Perhaps I am fortunate, but the people in the kingdom hall where I go all seem really nice and giving. It is absolutely true that being a JW does not shelter anyone from wickedness. I do have to say that I am very shy and don't have a lot of friends, gosh, I'm a true loner and don't know a lot of people period.

Last winter I had pneumonia and was very ill. It were the JW's who took care of me, brought me food, picked up my medication, and called daily to check up on me. No, I don't think for one second that JW's are perfect or even close to it, but I do believe that most of the JW's I know do their best to be helpful to one another in many ways.

It is probably safe to say though, that there are wonderful people and not-so-wonderful people both in 'the world' and in the congregation.

108

My story, please read

by fairchild in

jw
friends

first of all, thank you very much for taking the time to read this.

i hope that i am putting this in the right forum.. .

i studied as much about different religions as i could and read every book available to me.

fairchild

Hi again Fleur,

Thank you, I will check out that website tomorrow. (It's getting late here).

I am very interested in how the organization came to be, as I don't know much about that at all.

And no, I wasn't born different than anyone else. I really wish I could tell you everything. The secret I carry around weighs heavy. I have shared it with a few people over the years, twice to a total stranger on the internet, and recently with an elder in the congregation. People are usually speechless when I tell them.

Thank you for your kindness, Fleur, and I'll make sure to check out that link.

Have a nice evening.

108

My story, please read

by fairchild in

jw
friends

first of all, thank you very much for taking the time to read this.

i hope that i am putting this in the right forum.. .

i studied as much about different religions as i could and read every book available to me.

fairchild

Hi under 74,

Thank you very much for replying. What I am getting so far from the replies is that I should learn, not just about the bible, but also about the organization of JW's. That is why a site like this one is a great place, because, as I've been roaming around here for a couple of months now, I've noticed that all voices are heard, JW's, ex JW's and non JW's. This is a very positive thing about this site.

I know you don't mean to prey, and believe me, I wish I could just tell you. It is a good question you are asking, and the answer is clear. My situation is definitely against biblical principles. It is merely a bad situation gone worse, something I walked into and before I fully knew what I was doing, there was no way back. Trust me, if there was a way back, I would go back right this second.

Thank you for your kind words.

108

My story, please read

by fairchild in

jw
friends

first of all, thank you very much for taking the time to read this.

i hope that i am putting this in the right forum.. .

i studied as much about different religions as i could and read every book available to me.

fairchild

Hi Sandy,

Wow, I am truly amazed by the amount of replies and I'm trying to keep up with answering. This sure is a nice welcome and I feel home here already.

To be really, really honest, I have often asked myself that question. I don't have children, unfortunately, but if I did.. unless the situation presented itself, I guess we wouldn't know for sure how to react. My answer to your question would be, if I had a child and had to make a decision between blood or death for my child, I think I would let my child have blood. My child would still be able to grow up and make his or her own decision to either serve or not serve Jehovah, but at least the child would have a chance to grow up.

To answer your other question, I recently read 'the silent lambs'. Yes, that was very sad. I don't know what to say but hope that such things don't happen as a rule. Child abuse is horrible, to say the least, and I do realize that in a closed group where women don't have a real voice, it can be very tough.

108

My story, please read

by fairchild in

jw
friends

first of all, thank you very much for taking the time to read this.

i hope that i am putting this in the right forum.. .

i studied as much about different religions as i could and read every book available to me.

fairchild

Hi happy guy,

The elder's advice to study more was because I don't feel that 'closeness' I should feel to God. It was the same elder I went to with the strange situation I have been in for a few years now. He did admit that my situation is kind of unique and not something he had ever had to deal with. He said he would talk about this to other elders and would let me know if there is anything that can be done. I am currently waiting for his reply.

No, I don't think I need a psychologist, as I am actually pretty happy in general. Yes, I am in a stressful and rather serious situation, but refuse to give up hope. It's been several years now and I know that there will be a way out, I just have to find that way.

Thank you for replying, hapopy guy and have a great evening.

108

My story, please read

by fairchild in

jw
friends

first of all, thank you very much for taking the time to read this.

i hope that i am putting this in the right forum.. .

i studied as much about different religions as i could and read every book available to me.

fairchild

hi outoftheorg,

Your forum name brought a smile to my face, I must admit. Thank you for the warm welcome.

I choose this site after much browsing, becuse there are not that many sites where people can talk about the JW's religion. I am hoping to read much about everyone's thoughts. Someone told me once that some lecture is 'forbidden' to JW's, but personally I don't think it hurts to keep an open mind and hear other people's opinions, both positive and negative. It's like buying a car I guess, one likes to hear the qualities and the disadvantages of a particular brand.

My best friend, who is a JW, her youngest son got disfellowshipped after marrying a non believer. I've seen the pain from a close distance. It is all so complicated, and I often wonder about myself. The thing is, so far I have liked what I learned about the bible. I do believe, however, that there is a huge difference between the congregations. I've been to several different kingdom halls (because I used to move around a lot) and have to say that some congregations were like really united and others were divided. Perhaps it depends on which congregation one is a member of and how people act within the congregation..

108

My story, please read

by fairchild in

jw
friends

first of all, thank you very much for taking the time to read this.

i hope that i am putting this in the right forum.. .

i studied as much about different religions as i could and read every book available to me.

fairchild

Hi Fleur,

Thank you so very much for the quick reply. Yes, I have done quite some research, as a matter of fact, and I won't deny that there is one thing that really puzzles me, but that might be a different topic some day. It is the fact that JW's originated as an organization just in the past century. What about all the centuries before that?

But nevertheless, I don't think I want to be a part of 'this world' with so much suffering and so much wickedness. A lot of people are selfish and indeed do love money more than they love each other. I feel that the best way to live might be to read the sermon on the mount carefully and try to live by it. We all know that this is not easy, and there's a fine line between being good to people and having people take advantage of you. Yes, I do want to be baptized, but because of the one change which is impossible for me to make, I probably can't get baptized anyway.

Thank you again, being a member of this site is a comfort to me.

108

My story, please read

by fairchild in

jw
friends

first of all, thank you very much for taking the time to read this.

i hope that i am putting this in the right forum.. .

i studied as much about different religions as i could and read every book available to me.

fairchild

First of all, thank you very much for taking the time to read this. I hope that I am putting this in the right forum.

I have been roaming around this site for a couple of months now, and finally registered. I am in desperate need to tell my story.

I grew up in Europe, in a pretty messed up family. Mom was a convinced protestant and dad was an equally convinced catholic. Needless to say that amny of the domestic arguments were about religion and who was right or wrong. When JW's came to the door, my mom was always extremely obnoxious to them and would slam the door so hard in their faces that the windows would be shaking. I felt embarrassed by this action and promised myself that somehow, some day, I would make it up to them and try to undo the wrong.

Our family fell apart and the 4 children were put into orphanages. When I was 12, I got separated from my siblings and didn't see them again until 6 years later. In the meantime, religion kept me occupied, I wanted to find out which one of my parents had been 'right' after all. I studied as much about different religions as I could and read every book available to me. Around the age of 17, I came to the conclusion that the JW's were closer to the truth than anyone else, yet I didn't act on that conclusion.

When it was time to go to college, I left the orphanage, got a job to support myself and rented a modest room in a city. One Sunday morning, JW's came knocking at my door. Seeing this as my chance to make up for my mom's rudeness, I invited them in, made tea and offered cookies. We had a long talk, and lo and behold, I agreed to a bible study. Because of work and college, there was not much time and the study went slow. I liked what I was learning and started going to the meetings. At one time, I lost my job because of illness and didn't even have money for food. It were the JW's who brought me food and made sure I survived those tough days. Then, shortly after that, I reunited with my sister, only to find out that she had also developed a great interest in religions during the years that we were separated. During that same year, my sister started a bible study with JW's, got baptized and has been a pioneer ever since. I finished the 'you can live forever in a paradise' book around the same time I finished college. My urge for adventure took me to Africa, Greece, France, and many years of wandering around without having contact with JW's.

I moved to the USA in the winter of 1992. As soon as I was settled in, I looked in a local phone book and contacted JW's. They cordially invited me to come to the meetings, which I did. I started another bible study in 1994 and studied the knowledge book. I read the bible several times. Due to work, it became impossible for me to go to the Sunday and Thursday meetings, but I kept attending the Tuesday meetings ever so dutifully.

We are now approaching the year 2005, I am again going to all the meetings and most of my friends are JW's. However, I don't feel that 'love' for God, and I certainly don't feel that he listens when I pray, which I do every day. After talking about this with an elder, he suggested I study some more, and I am currently studying the book 'worship the true God'. Everybody is always real nice to me at the kingdom hall and I like hanging out with people after the meetings. Yet, in my mind there's this little voice that says I'm not worthy and Jehovah does not approve of me.

I don't doubt that we were created. As a matter of fact, anyone in their right (open) mind should realize that we cannot possibly have come to life by chance. No doubt about that at all. I also don't doubt that God's name is Jehovah and that we should worship him- if anything, out of gratitude for life- and do what is right. It doesn't take an idiot to figure out that things such as stealing and murdering are wrong. Although I can not give you too many details, there is an aspect in my life that goes seriously against biblical principles. It is something that I can not change without disrupting my life drastically. Sorry I can't give more details about this. From what I understand, Jehovah needs to see an effort first, before He helps.. so I'm kind of stuck and don't know what to do.