While it took a moment to get it through my thick head what was going on, I know I restrained myself from 'preaching' to the waitress, not wanting to set off her automatic ApostoShield, although I did find myself thinking of a field service-like presentation later. Naturally the witness custom of shutting off, devaluing, or denying anything negative about their god, the WTS and its GB, was a major topic of discussion.
Some of us there had chosen not to formally DA, although it was brought out that it is mostly an effort to save relationships that are already dead. Even without DA'ing, family and friends still stop associating with those who don't continue meetings and service. The jw-media.org assertion that "those who simply cease to be involved are not shunned" is a crock; as had been said many times, there is no honorable way to leave.
We talked about leaving and its complications: Dealing with family, especially trying to turn a mate away from the bOrg, how hard attending meetings is after learning the truth about the truth - especially if you have to get there early to see to "privileges" or have to give talks, and how much more you hope for not-at-homes now that you realize you really are wasting peoples' time rather than saving their lives. (Although with the recent evidence that excessive sleep shortens life spans, maybe stopping them from sleeping in on a Saturday morning really is a public service!)
We also talked about what lead us out, what the final straw was. I think I have the key points below, and they should encourage those working through this site, where so many of these straws were first found:
- disfellowshipping
- blood contradictions
- UN NGO status
- the 1995 twist on the 1914 "generation"
- recognizing out own cognitive dissonance
and refusing to lie to ourselves anymore
to protect a business venture
All of us were turned off by organized religion, but felt that some of what the Society teaches is right. In my opinion and experience, it is good to visit other churches and see just how much more Christian they act then the Society taught us to expect, as well as to be exposed to different interpretations and many of the same good teachings without the mask of uniqueness.
We all had a good time and want to do it again. It is good to meet others in person who are in the same boat. It helps overcomes a lot of paranoia we all have.
For the future, especially for a larger group, the restaurant should be willing to seat folks without confirming a full party. Fortunately last night some of us knew each other so that we all linked up. Also perhaps reservations should be under a name that is easy for restaurant to get right even while it screams apostasy - like "Rutherford."
Love,
Bodhisattva
P.S. Entry in this month's KM - "Our Kuffar* Ministry":
What is someone says, "I was disfellowshipped but I found my way back to the Truth(TM)"?Ask, "While you were disfellowshipped, how did your friends and family feel about being required to shun you?"
If the Witness answers, "Well, it was hard for them," ask "Didn't Paul say that God's Law is written in the hearts of mankind? So if shunning you troubled their conscience, which is out of alignment, their hearts or the shunning policy?"
If the Witness answers, "They had no problem whatsoever shunning me. In fact, they're still rather cold per the Society's recommendations to not be too accepting of a newly reinstated one, and its clear that their love is fully conditional on my allegience to a corporation," try to place a copy of Crisis of Conscience.
* The Islamic term Kuffar = Apostates
Edited for typos and some formatting.