Posts by TheListener

41

....and a new wrinkle

by outsmartthesystem in

jw
friends

so i was giving my daughter a hug at bed time last night.

she stands up at the foot of her bed and wraps her arms around my neck.

she then asks why i don't serve jehovah anymore.

outsmarthesystem, I really feel for you. The stab of pain you must have felt when your daughter said and did that must have been really strong. Your continuing to show love and concern for her and to spend time with her are great. I think the best thing you can do is to let her see by example which parent is less stressed, which parent has unconditional love and which parent puts her and her interests first regardless of what the WTS says.

I have found in my own life that spending as much time as I can with my kids in activities they enjoy has made a really big difference in our relationship.

Depending on your situation and your kids personalities it may be helpful if they see you reading your Bible and when you're with them talking about God or Jesus a bit to them. It might make it harder for your wife and others to paint you as a Godless heathen if the kids know otherwise from a young age.

8

What to tell your kids

by TheListener in

what did you tell your children about why you don't go to meetings anymore or aren't a witness?

especially if you have a witness spouse..

TheListener

What did you tell your children about why you don't go to meetings anymore or aren't a witness? Especially if you have a witness spouse.

188

World map showing net reduction in publisher numbers

by cedars in

jw
friends

mp has asked which country has lost the most publishers, and i decided to investigate.

one thing led to another, and i decided to produce another world map, this time showing the net reduction in publishers for each country.. this has been calculated by means of the following equation for each country:.

2011 total no.

TheListener

Can't we just call it: An Approximation of Missing Members on an Annual Basis - or something equally zingy!

112

2005 - The year the Society began its decline (without anyone noticing)!

by cedars in

i've just finished an article for randy over on freeminds.org, which i've submitted to him for review.

hopefully it should be online soon, so please keep checking!.

the article discusses the fact that the watch tower society is already in decline, and suggests the year 2005 as the turning point.

TheListener

Great thread.

When I was still in I remember thinking the WTS was a very professional and efficient organization. I remember stories of other companies using the WTS as a role model. We had quality audio, quality dvds, quality publications, and our branch offices had all the up to date technology. We even invented MEPS (I have no idea if others use it or even if the WTS still uses it).

What I see today, through glasses of skepticism, is an organization with the shine wore off. An organization going through the motions. I believe others have stated this as well.

I have a spouse who is an active devout witness. I have never heard her or any other witness friend she has ever state anything negative about the organization or its cost cutting policies. However, they do all seem truly excited when there is less of something (like one less meeting and less magazines and books to read).

And from my perspective all witnesses seem to be so busy they can't see straight, so stressed out they can't think straight and so wore out they have every odd medical disease in the book. There must be something to that.

206

i am a regular pioneer in my cong reading crisis of conscience.here goes...

by MsGrowingGirl20 in

jw
friends

i'm on page 90 right now...the info is definitely new and gives me a totally diff view as to how i used to think of faithful and discreet slave.

i was thoroughly disgusted with the way the brothers handled the oral sex and leadership problem and the insight on the scriptures book...... still have alot of questions though.

TheListener

Welcome to the forum.

I read CoC. I was so nervous to buy it I had a friend drive to another state and buy it for me. I was so so nervous that someone would find out I bought it and read it.

That book helps clarify things that many people already sort of have a feeling aren't right. It helped me by putting specific thoughtful arguments together for specific Witness doctrines. Other books are great but they don't take the time to go into the detail that Ray does.

I wish you well on your journey.

220

2011 Watchtower publisher statistics with analysis

by jwfacts in

the 2012 yearbook has released the publisher statistics for the 2011 service year.

a scan of the report can be found at http://www.jwfacts.com/images/2011-publisher-report.pdf and i have started updating the graphs at http://www.jwfacts.com/watchtower/statistics.php.

as expected, it is following on from similar trends to the last 15 years.

TheListener

Yadda Yadda 2 I totally agree!

The time per month spiked yet the amount to gain a convert increased as well. The effectiveness is down because those going out are just ticking the boxes. They aren't really into it like the witnesses of previous generations.

Could be more people are faking their time and padding their reports so the overall amount is higher but there isn't much productivity.

8

I didn't marry a "pagan" said my wife

by NVR2L8 in

jw
friends

18 months ago when i told my wife that i no longer believe the wt teachings and that i had attended my last meeting, she said that everything would change because she didn't marry a "pagan".

so after a short moment i told her that i understood her reaction, but this would be the only time i would not act on such a comment - the next time i would simply pack up and leave.

isn't it strange that the one who is supposed to be in the "truth" is the one who is ready to forfit our marriage, when in fact the bible tells christian spouses to remain with their unbelieving mate?

TheListener

Good luck.

My marriage has survived despite the fact that my wife remains a JW. We don't discuss religious things. Well, not JW religious things. We've developed an unspoken rule not to discuss how ridiculous the JW religion is or how important it is for me to get back to the fold before the end. So far so good.

53

You might have a problem when the conversation ends with your wife walking away from you...fingers in her ears.....yelling " Jehovah help me! Jehovah help me!"

by oompa in

jw
friends

but when they end like that three times....it's strike three... or maybe it was strike #3,333,333.......but it is sad and painful for us both i know.....a person must be in a very very bad place to act like that in front a man you have loved and been intimate with for 15 years....and at that moment i am satan in front of her....a begging pleading attempting to reason satan...but still satan to her and her friends.....but this nice woman needs satan out of her life now....oompa.

i am not a bad person...i am not satan...i asked her why she thought i had tried so hard....told her that if she was in a burning building just how hard would she think i would try to get her out??

she did not like that analogy either...so i have started the painful process...the building is going to burn to the ground now....and i will never put her through that fingers in ears thing again.... and i will be fair and reasonable....and pay her the alimony and give her half....i could so be a satan to her in divorce....but i won't!...i can at least prove to them all that i am decent man...and not mentally diseased or satan.....and ahhhhh i feel good about that....plus both my boys are free now...

TheListener

I'm really sorry Oompa. I'm glad your children are free. I think your decision about being as reasonable and considerate as possible during any divorce proceedings will be the right thing.

My wife and I don't have those tough conversations anymore. Almost all religious conversations are a demilitarized zone and we just don't go there. It works for us. BUT, it isn't really a perfect situation having a marriage mate where you can't share everything, discuss everything and enjoy each other for who you are. It also sucks knowing my wife (and other JWs) think I'm the devil's tool and mentally diseased - even if they don't say it to me I know it's part of their underlying thoughts.

Hang in there man.

23

Research Data Wanted: Married to a JW or child of one parent in and the other not

by Lady Lee in

i am looking for information from several groups of people.. people who are no longer jws but have a spouse who is still in.

never-been jwswas a jw (baptized or not) but left after marrying and spouse remained indfed, daed or faded and still have a spouse who is inchildren (now grown) who were raised with one parent a jw and the other never beenchildren (now grown) where one parent left the jws and one stayed in.if there are categories i have missed let me know.

i need this to be pretty inclusive and focused on couples where one person is a jw and the other is not.. i will be asking questions re:.

TheListener

1.b - with kids living at home.

45

Im disfellowshipped

by newcomer1982 in

think it was announced yesterday that im disfellowshipped.

will these feelings of guilt and panic ever go away?

my head is so messed up.

TheListener

Isn't it awful that when someone needs help the most they get treated the worst by witnesses.

A religion that must tear you down and make you miserable in order for you to "come back" is not a religion, it's a cult.

I'm truly sorry you're going through this. Just remember that there are a lot of other people out there who know what you're going through and how tough it is. Feel free to vent here anytime.

Another poster recommended making new friends. That sounds like a great idea.

I know you're disfellowshipped but I don't know how much of the witness teachings you reject or accept. So, if you have any lingering doubts about the WT being right you should read Crisis of Conscience by Ray Franz and you could do research on points that have bothered you in the past.

Sometimes the pain of being shunned can be eased by knowing for certain that the shunners are wrong in their beliefs and wrong for shunning you. It isn't Christlike to shun.

Good luck and I wish you the best.