Wow. Welcome to the forum cognitivedizzy. Fading from elder or ms is harder but still possible. Read some of the threads on here from other successful faders.
My advice, get your wife to go with you and start to get phrases memorized like 'We are getting so stressed and down about this system (or work, family, whatever) that making the meetings is hard, but we are really trying' 'thank you brothers for your concern'.
If you want to step aside you will probably have to serve for awhile with limited duties due to your 'stress and depression'.
Fading can take awhile.