stopthepain
JoinedTopics Started by stopthepain
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13
I didn't drink the kool-aid
by stopthepain inlately,i haven't been as concerned with my jw past.it will always affect me,and this website has changed my life,for the better.i guess i know that thetre will always be people that will believe in religious bullcrap.thats thier problem.i am proud that i didn't drink the kool-aid{i say to people now"don't drink the kool-aid"}i have not posted as much lately,and feel less concerned about the whole situation,which is a good thing.. .
cheers to all you who didn't drink the kool aid,and those who stopped drinking it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1.
thanks ,stp
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8
ex jw's shouldnt own guns
by stopthepain in.
due to being a broken human,taught to hate himself,i find critiscm,even constructive,hard to handle.someone mentioned i looked like i was packing on a few pounds,due to binge eating,alchoholism,drug addiction,depression,and an overall bad attitude,i almost started crying at work in front of my peers.i swear if i owned a gun,i'd be dead.oh,i thought about driving 110 into a pole,but theres no gurantee of being dead.if i owned a gun,i would be dead,because my moods and depression and insecurity are like a goddamn balancing act.the way i was raised make me love myself,and hate myself ,all in the same breath.i am glad i don't buy into anything,and realize most people,includind my own family are ultimately selfish,as am i.i have become selfish,critical and angry,but i also see the good in mankind.i go thru life trying to help people,and being a good guy.all you get is shit back.. my father,who allowed all this bs to reign supreme,is the most unloving,unchristian ,negative human i know.when people die,he claims they deserve it.its so funny that the whole point of religion,and jw's especially,is love.to love someone,you know,the friutages of the spirit.most people don't show jack shit but profess to be better.. i guess the emotions i go thru will bnever go away,but this is no suicide thread,because as i drove home,i thought of the little things in life that i enjoy,and i will not let some cult,or twisted view of love make me end it.i will keep going for the few moments of enjoyment this life provides me,but i still will never own a gun.
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Question for women-and men{preferably gay}
by stopthepain ini am seeing someone thats about 10 years older than me.she also works where i work.i am a union worker and she is "management"in the same company i work for.we have alot in common ,and i have been seeing her for about 2 1/2 -3 months.i know that isn't a long time,but i do really like her.i am atracted to her mentally and physically.my question is,can this work?should i let her be the aggressor,do i tell her that i like her alot.i don't want to scare her away,but it's hard to be in limbo,even for a guy.i don't really know what she wants out of this,and neither do i.we also have to keep it a secret at work,which isn't a big deal right now,but could be down the line.i should probably just take it slow,as i have.the org fucked me up in the trelationship department,so i am a bit lost.is the age difference to much.i don't feel it is,because i enjoy her company.its wierd,because my last real relationship,i was in charge,you know,the one who gets loved more than he gives,now i feel the shoe is on the other foot.time will tell,but anyone been in this situation before.just curious!
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5
full blown hypocrisy amongst "christian youths"
by stopthepain ini find it funny and sad that children who were raised in the cult resort to full blown double lives,believing that if they go to meetings all will be fine at the big a.. my little sister who is 20,was just heard on the phone the other day by my brother saying some funny stuff.. heres the skinny.my sis has apparently "hooked up " with a "worldly boy".now apparently the kid wont leave her alone.this is what she said to another fine,upstanding christian sister on the phone"i wish i never hooked up with him,i mean ,i had my fun,but now he's annoying me.
{pause}ok,i'll see you at the meeting".. i find it funny because she just told me last week how strongly she feels about jehovah and the borg,but she still wanted to have a relationship with me.i told her " how do you think it makes me feel knowing you believe i will be dead in the fast approaching war of armegeddon "{i thought fornicators and unclean acts and people mixing and becoming unevenly yoked would die to}.apparently not as long as you go to meetings!!.
i pity her,cognitive dissedence,ain't it a bitch.. just thought i'd share.stp.
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assemlbly time passing tricks
by stopthepain inas a kid ,you could almost certainly kill time at an dc ,sad{as richie rich put it},or a the "2 day assembly" in many various ways.. this has probably been done before,but here we go.. 1--watch the audience as a whole,they almost lookm like ants or something,because thier was always people moving around.peole figiting,taking vigorous notes,people getting up and down for a walk,or a bathroom break,attendants barking at the teens to sit down.i used to find pleasur in watching everyon fidget as a group.. 2--watch the peole who where doing sign language for the deaf.i would always try to start matching words for signs.another way a 10 year old mind can wander.. 3--locate all friends of yours,chicks you have a bad witness boy crush on,obsess for a few hours,and how you can stalk the hot girls.. 4--what too eat{pre modern era}you know,lemon lime or cola shasta,apple or cheese danish,vanilla or chocalte swiss miss,hoagie or dri chicken w/mayo packet?????????
?descisions ,descisions!!!!!.
5---count each minute out in my head.there was a huge digital clock at the providence civic center.when the clock changed,i would try to count 60 seconds to an exact point the clock would change again.clock manipulation,a huge witness kid skill.you could will the cloock to move,or so you thought.. 6---think about what flavor slush i wanted at break,and wether i would buy the cheap binoculars,or the mini -fan.those toys would occupy my brain for hours.. 7---wait with baited breath for the drama.when those lights went down,,,,,,,,,,,sheer ecxtasy!!
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I have outed myself
by stopthepain in.
my avatar is me with my dog tuko.i am not afraid at all anymore.people can read what ive written,i honestly don't care.for those of you who recognize my posts----------------well,here i am.. stp{of the not afraid to hide my face class}
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21
Is age an excuse to hold back?
by stopthepain in.
a few times me and my family have had it out about the cult,and my parents{especially my mom}who are now 50,get all craxzy sometimes.she almost acts like she's physically sick,or haveing a heart attack or something when things get heated.now i understand sheis emotional to begin with,thats what got her into this crap .but is all these factors a reason to hold back feelings?i often find myself tip-toeing around how i talk to her.i feel the fanatic state they kept thier kids(especially us o0lder 3 of 5}really had detrimental effects on us.it's not so much of what they believed,but how they held us kids back from normal growth.i don't want to make her feel terrible,but sometimes it's hard not to say things.she still clings to her meeting on sunday,and basic principlkes of the bible,but i at times feel betrayed because of her cntinuing to support that reloigion.i guess you just have to take it as comes.has this happened to anyone else?sometimes i care,sometimes i don't.i want my parents to know exactly how wrong the way they raised me was.i guess it was worse because i was so trusting.at a few times in my life,i actually beli9eved.when the rug got pulled out for me,i was left emotionally scarred.it is very difficult for me to forgive and forget.it's just the more you think about how ridicoulous there way of raising children was,the more angry i get.. its my little brothers 21 birthday tonight,and we are all going out to eat and have a few drinks{but it's not a birthday party}.i couldn't do crap in all my childhood.they taught me to hate.they used warped scare tactics on young children.they held me back socially in everyway.they caused,thru that cult,soooooo much pain,that still lingers today.will i ever truly forgive and forget,i dont think so,but thier age may spare them my full disdain.its a fine line i tread with my parents,one between love and hate.. should age matter when it comes to confronting people on this subject,one that runs deep for many of us children of the watchtowers 1980's /early 90's pinnacle of fanatisism?stp
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WTBTS=relationship thief
by stopthepain in.
how many of you out there have ever wondered "how many people did i never get to meet because of being a witness".. i for one,being raised ina ultra conservative jw family ask myself that.. everytime you missed out on various activities{outside the org},you miss out the chance of meeting great, interesting people.i for one don't have 1 friend left from the religion.so even if i met just 1 person that made a difference in my life,it would have been worth more than all that wasted time.. the wtbts knows what strings to pull to keep you from thinking outside the jw box.they destroy relationships before you could ever imagine begginning one..
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17
elders visit
by stopthepain inyesterday,i get a buzz from the doorbell,well i wasn't expecting anyone,niether was my roomate.well geuss who,2 elders i don't even know.they tried to introduce themselves and act all friendly.i said"i don't want to talk to you abot anything,before i could finish my statement,he tried to butt in and say something,i cut him off and said"listen,i don't want to talk to you about anything at all",in a firm tone.and shut my door.. i believe they have gotten wind of my activities in giving my family the truth about the truth.i believe they wanted to draw me into a trap so they could df me,i gave them no satisfaction.i know for a fact other my younger sisters friends know i can't stand the religion,and it has gotten back to the big bad elders.i could give a shit!they can't fool me anymore.again,this site has been a godsent,no pun intended.thanks to all my friends out in cyberspace,youve all hel[ped me out.. i also unloaded on my older ,depressed sister about the truth about the truth,she was not sure how to react,but i had to speak my peace.i can no longer pretend to co0ndone or keep silent,she has a young daughter,i had to at least warn her.and when i say unload,i mean unlo(ad!!
!i got into the jdubs history,lies ,changing doctrine,mental abuse,beth sarim,thier monitary holdings,thier guilt and scare tactics,thier exploitation of children,and ovwerall craziness that is the wtbts.i also kept calling it "the publishing company from brooklyn.
"i topld her i have no belief in that religion,and that i'm here for her if she needs help dealing with this.i don't know if it did harm or good,but she i feel it needed to be done.. .
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60
The org is going down----I can feel it!
by stopthepain in.
my brother called me today.he is 20 ,3 years younger than me,and out of the religion.he still has fear though that it could be true,but thats another story.. he told me he heard my mother and father talking upstairs.my mother said about the org "ive put 26 years into it,i think i'm done with it,i might just go sunday from now on".this is huge ,because she was a devoted nutjob witness.she made my life horrible for the 1st 17 years of my life.i had been trying to suddly tell her the truth about the troof,but i didn't expect this.i'm happy and yet i want to know where she stands with the borganization.. this along with what seems to be an outpouring of similar stories,i have a gut feeling the jehovahs witness mind control cult is on the brink of implosion.everyone is so burdened by it.the jig is up,gb,good riddance when you fold.the rank and file have had enough.my 2 younger sisters are on the edge of mental freedom.i hope they can fully get free of it.. this is a milestone in my families long and strange trip in mental enslavement!!!!!!!!!!!!
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