Furthermore I would like to hear from you so we can discuss strategies and ideas for freeing the people we love from this terrible scourge.
Hi CYP. I am not actively seeking to "free" my husband from the JWs, mainly because he spent 8 years disassociated and has already lost his loved ones once. Honestly, I don't think I could bear to see him go through that again - the first 8 years were difficult on both of us. Now that he has been reinstated (with my support, because I love him dearly) I will never ask or expect him to go through a second disassociation.
However, there were ground rules set long before his reinstatement. Such as: the children and I will not become JWs, I am responsible for dealing with blood transfusions if that ever comes up and he will respect any decision I make, the JWs do not own him (I do - hahaha j/k), etc. Luckily my husband is 110% in agreement with how I feel about the situation because as he says, "My obligation is not to an organization, it is solely to Jehovah and my family". He is a rare gem.
My situation is very different than yours. My husband was raised a JW, he left the organization, he's "been there, done that" with all of the rigamarole - and he went back "on his terms", as he says. AND if it ever comes down to it ... he is willing to disassociate again if they force his hand ("his terms", remember).
Your wife, on the otherhand, is experiencing something totally different, and probably has some serious (ignorance is bliss) blinders on. My husband lost his blinders a long, long time ago. You're in a difficult situation, and I sympathize. If you have any questions for me, I'd be happy to help however I can.