Posts by AshtonCA

8

JW'S view of family...

by diamondblue1974 in

jw
friends

this might well be an old topic and covered many times in the archives...but i confess i have not read that far yet.

what has sparked this off is that i have had a conversation with my mother who is still a devout jw...until now i have never tackled her properly on doctrinal issues or on issues which i know would or could alter her belief system...she is one of those who i firmly believe need the witnesses as her crutch and to take it away would leave her life with a void she wouldnt be able to fill.

so i politely keep quiet and refuse to engage her when she quotes scripture and verse usually to point out how worldly i am and that i have changed...(typical guilt trip approach).. tonight was different in that i am getting married to my girlfriend in august and as such there are some friends who are disfellowshipped and disassociated going to be there...they are some of my best friends and companions during my young jw days and are great people and have stood by me through good times and the not so good....(more than the self professed christians did in the wts) .

AshtonCA

I know how you are feeling. I went through this as well. I was DF'd for having relations with my now hubby, then co-worker. When we got married, my family refused to come because it was in a church and he was an unbliever. So, I pretty much was the only person representing my side of the family. I did have friends from work who did come. We had everyone just sit where they wanted so that there was a balance.

We were married in a small non denominational church. The wedding was beautiful, but it was sad. My mother told me years later that if I had had it somewhere else, other than a church, she would have come to it. I said, why the heck didn't you tell me that then? I would have gotten married in an alley if it meant my family was going to be there. She said, she did tell me. I said nope, you sure didn't. I would have remembered that!

Oh well... I'm now 12.5 years into a wonderful marriage and my family loves him to pieces, my mom even calls him her son instead of son in law.

Ash

4

Neighbors say the weirdest-a** things

by GentlyFeral in

jw
friends

i live in a trailer, and the walls are thin.

my husband's outside talking to one of our neighbors, who has a checkered past.. neighbor: "you ever smoke crack cocaine?

man, my cats smoke more dope than you do.".

AshtonCA

I know what you mean. I live in a pretty nice apartment complex. Not luxurious, but well kept and pretty quiet. Yet one night recently, at 1:45 AM I heard three gunshots. No mistaking those babies for firecrackers that time. The next day there were police out there with a camera and tripod, going in and out of the building. We never could find out what happened. But to our relief someone moved out of that building this past weekend. We hope no one got hurt or killed.

This brings back memories, whew. 2 years ago we moved from Oakland, CA to Concord, CA because we lived in one of the worst cities for crimes ever. We were the minority and we were apartment managers. The owner of the building hired us because we were white and he wanted us to babysit his black tenants. Well, we really tried very hard to get along with all. I don't see color, I see people. But, they did not want us there because they couldn't do their usual stuff and we had our tires slashed and graffitti written all over the car and building walls about my ummm... body size, and general bad stuff. The night we were moving to a downstairs unit, they went and threw bricks through all of the windows in the downstairs unit and the front of our upstairs unit. We were sitting in the living room when a brick came flying through and landed right where our son had been standing one minute before. We were terrified and we quit that night.

One of the tenants snuck upstairs and whispered to us that he wasn't threatening us, but that it would be a good idea if we just moved because it was only going to get worse if we didn't stop trying to "clean up the place."

Before we even moved into that second place, our neighbors that share a joint wall had a drive by shooting, someone hopped out and began to shoot up the place and the bullets lodged in our joint wall. I remember yelling to my little boy "hit the dirt!" and he fell face first flat on the floor. We had to practice that and we never thought we'd actually have to do it, but we did. He was 3!

We finally moved to Concord and we are so much happier here.

Ash

23

Where is their Love?

by Sadie5 in

jw
friends

a couple of days ago i ran into a jw at my job at walmart.

she is a single lady around 50 years old and she looked terrible.

i asked how she was,(she always talks to me) and she related how she had lost her job and had to work two low paying jobs.

AshtonCA

You are absolutely correct, the elders only wanted one thing when we were still in, they wanted us to go out in service. There was only one elder who visited my mother once when she was very sick and nearly died. She had very severe asthma and was constantly in the hospital and not one witness went to visit her, nor did they come to the house and ask if their was anything they could do for her. The only time an elder came by was to see why we'd not been to the meeting or out in service for a few weeks. No one called or anything. It was very sad.

My brothers and I took care of her and the house (I was 10 going on 11). My older brother was only a year and a half older than I was. We cooked and cleaned and took care of the 2 little siblings. Many times we would wake up in the middle of the night to only find out that my dad had to rush my mom to the hospital.

One time, the dr. told my dad that my mom would not live through the weekend, to go and call any family members that may be out of town and to make funeral arrangements. My dad gathered us together and told us all and we cried and prayed like crazy. My grandmother flew out and started making arrangements, and my mom pulled through. It was very scary.

Ash

17

disfellowshipping children

by QCA1 in

jw
friends

awhiile back i posted telling you about my grandson whos mother hit him for not saying grace before a meal ( he is 15yrs old ) he has been hit on many occasions,he hates being a witness and is forced to go to the hall by his mother.

my grandson phoned us on the day his mother had hit him,he was sobbing down the phone to us and said he wanted to come and stay with us, i said yes and that i would fetch him, anyway his mum and dad have had nothing to do with me since despite me writing to them expressing how much i love my grandchildren and that i wish to see them,i have had no reply.. the other day my grandson phoned and said to my younger son that he is leaving home when he is 16 and can he come and stay with us,of course i said yes.

what i need to know is will he be disfellowshipped for living with his grandma ( i am not a jw ) of course i know what this will mean for him,his brothers and parents will shun him.. as for me what else can i do to see my grandchildren.

AshtonCA

It is a sure fire bet that mother would never hit that kid again if she knew he would retaliate. I am not saying or inferring that it is ok for kids to hit their mothers either. That would be a little like the DAMM (drunks against mad mothers) organization.

Not always true, I raised my hand to hit my mother when I was about 16. She told me that if I ever did it again, she would get a 2x4 and crack it over my head. Unfortnately, I believed her because we were buidling a house at the time and there were boards lying all over the place, easy access... so I never did it again.

Ash

17

disfellowshipping children

by QCA1 in

jw
friends

awhiile back i posted telling you about my grandson whos mother hit him for not saying grace before a meal ( he is 15yrs old ) he has been hit on many occasions,he hates being a witness and is forced to go to the hall by his mother.

my grandson phoned us on the day his mother had hit him,he was sobbing down the phone to us and said he wanted to come and stay with us, i said yes and that i would fetch him, anyway his mum and dad have had nothing to do with me since despite me writing to them expressing how much i love my grandchildren and that i wish to see them,i have had no reply.. the other day my grandson phoned and said to my younger son that he is leaving home when he is 16 and can he come and stay with us,of course i said yes.

what i need to know is will he be disfellowshipped for living with his grandma ( i am not a jw ) of course i know what this will mean for him,his brothers and parents will shun him.. as for me what else can i do to see my grandchildren.

AshtonCA

I like whoever commented that this woman is obviously a control freak. How parents can hit their children at all is beyond me. I never hit mine, and they are fine. People are stupid. How could you possibly think that by hitting a child you can solve anything?? I did not even know the witnesses actually allowed this. I am glad I only studied for a year. (if you can call it studying. I was high on good good dope most of the time)

Yep, JW's condone spanking (or hitting, but they don't see it as hitting, they see it as disciplining, spare the rod spoil the child kind of thing.)

The last time I was spanked with a belt, I was 16 yo.

I have heard of elders telling people with six month old babies to take them to the bathroom and spank them for fussing during the meetings. My dad was an elder and once one of the other elders had told this young brother with a 6 mo old baby to do that and my dad took the young brother outside and told him, he didn't care what the other brother had said, that if he ever spanked his 6 mo old baby again, he'd call the authorities on him, the young brother thanked my dad and asked how to handle the baby, my dad said, ask my wife, she's raising 4 kids.

Not to condone spanking, which I don't, unless it is a life threatening situation, i.e. child runs in the street, but my parents didn't start spanking us until we were able to understand why we were being spanked. For me, that was very young, because when I was 1 year of age, my grandmother spanked me and I turned around to her and said, don't spank me, you'r not my mother. She never did it again.

I was a very rebellious child (I actually had ADHD with defiant disorder and no one knew it until I was an adult). I was spanked every day of my life. I was ridiculed, I was told I was bad and lazy. I also had learning disabilities on top of the ADHD and I was spanked for not being able to do math or whatever the problem subject was. I was spanked for not concentrating, I was spanked for not getting my colors right. I was pretty much spanked for everything that I didn't do correctly, or to the acceptance of my very controlling mother.

My parents did apologize to me for how they handled me and my problems, but the wounds are still there and I am still obviously upset about it because I dream about beating the sh*t out of my mother several times a week. I wake up in a panic and I feel guilty for it.

Ash

6

TiVo

by DazedAndConfused in

jw
friends

does anyone have tivo?

i am considering getting it but i am unsure about how it works.

i understand how the remote works, that you get a box,etc.

AshtonCA

I have heard that Tivo is actually having financial troubles and may not be around much longer. Has anyone else heard this? You can get the same product through your cable company without the fear of the company going under and your box being useless. We have a DVR through our local cable company and I love it. I can rewind and pause live tv and everything.

Ashton

29

Bible Prophecy of 9/11

by AshtonCA in

was wondering if anyone else knew 9/11 was going to happen before it did?

my mother, when leaving the org.

back in the early 90's began researching the bible (not the nwt because it was too flawed), she used the kjv and the niv, she also used strongs and a bible that had both greek and hebrew in it right along side the english.

AshtonCA

For crying out f*cking loud I am so tired of delusional dingbats jumping out of the woodwork and saying "I'm a prophet and don't you dare question me" prophets tell whats gonna happen your not much of a prophet to try to tell me something happened AFTER the fact!

I never said I was a prophet. It's kind of hard to discuss the events of 9/11 beforehand because I didn't know about this site then. Believe me, we read for years about what we thought was going to happen, we talked about it amongst ourselves and a few friends, you know why we never said anything? because of people like you who do nothing but bash people with a religious belief. You get your kicks out of belittling people. People like you make me sick! You have nothing better to do than to make people feel bad about themselves!

I am not a dingbat, I simply was trying to make conversation about my experience. I was wondering if anyone else had read that and gotten what we got, but I guess I shouldn't do that, I guess discussing the past events that happened and how interesting it is to see that they were in the bible is not something people like you want to do here.

I also never said don't question me, you are putting mean and nasty words into my mouth. Were you one of JW's, or are you just some nasty person who does nothing but slam people with a religious viewpoint?

You know, I felt comfortable here because I thought that I had finally found people who had been where I had come from, I thought y'all would understand, but I forgot, not all of you are nice, some of you are mean and I don't need this kind of ridicule. It never dawned on me that I would have to defend myself against such nastiness.

Ash

29

Bible Prophecy of 9/11

by AshtonCA in

was wondering if anyone else knew 9/11 was going to happen before it did?

my mother, when leaving the org.

back in the early 90's began researching the bible (not the nwt because it was too flawed), she used the kjv and the niv, she also used strongs and a bible that had both greek and hebrew in it right along side the english.

AshtonCA

... While your getting your mom checked you might want to just let the doc's take a quick one over on you too...
I'm not saying this to be insulting I swear I'm not but this type of thing is just not normal...

So, I guess Jesus wasn't normal, or any person in the bible who spoke their beliefs and were ridiculed for them as well. Yes, I am insulted by your comment. I would never call you crazy for your beliefs, it is what makes you you!

You don't know me, you don't know my mother. You don't know the persecution our family has been through from the organization. I have had my own "best friend" tell me my mother was crazy because she thought she was going to heaven. I said do you believe brother so and so when he says he is? she said yes! I said why then can't you believe my mother feels she is? there was no answer given.

I can only assume if you feel my mother is crazy then you must be the same type to believe Moses, or Noah, or any other person in the bible who spoke with God was crazy. Where is your faith? Why cant' modern day people also speak with God? Why is it only those in the bible are allowed that distinction? I am offended by people who automatically pull out the nutsoid card whenever someone of faith experiences what is felt to be "abnormal."

I am sorry if I sound ticked off, but I am ticked off. I am mad because most of the people on this board know what it is like to be persecuted being that they came from the org and now some of you are still persecuting others by calling them crazy for their beliefs.

Thank you ever so much for making me feel welcome here. I am done!

Ash

29

Bible Prophecy of 9/11

by AshtonCA in

was wondering if anyone else knew 9/11 was going to happen before it did?

my mother, when leaving the org.

back in the early 90's began researching the bible (not the nwt because it was too flawed), she used the kjv and the niv, she also used strongs and a bible that had both greek and hebrew in it right along side the english.

AshtonCA

And what if they are crazy? Shouldn't we encourage them to get real medical help rather than indulging them in their fantasies?

We had a friend who was schitzophrenic and I know what it is and what it looks like, and that is not my mother. If we thought for a moment my mother was loopy, we'd take care of the matter, but we don't.

As I said, I am sorry I brought it up. I will not be doing this again, I will not be posting any longer. If I could, I'd remove this whole thread. It's a shame one can't post their beliefs without getting called crazy. But like I said, it isn't the first time, and it won't be the last.

Ash

29

Bible Prophecy of 9/11

by AshtonCA in

was wondering if anyone else knew 9/11 was going to happen before it did?

my mother, when leaving the org.

back in the early 90's began researching the bible (not the nwt because it was too flawed), she used the kjv and the niv, she also used strongs and a bible that had both greek and hebrew in it right along side the english.

AshtonCA

Ps. Get your mom some medical help she sounds mildly schizoprenic

Don't you think that those in the bible who spoke with God were thought to be "crazy' as well? Look at the persecution Jesus went through.

I should have known it was a bad idea to bring this up, I thought this board was supposed to be a safe place to talk about our beliefs, I didn't realize I was going to be called crazy and in need of therapy.

I think I will not be posting anything else for fear of being called crazy. You'd think I'd have thicker skin what with all of the years of persecution my family went through about my mother from the elders in the congregation who didn't feel she was worthy of being "anointed". She was actually told that she was a nobody, that there was no way SHE was chosen over Mr. Elder or whomever.

Ash