Posts by Check_Your

14

When you were a jw, what questions would you have liked to ask a da/fader..

by Check_Your_Premises in

jw
friends

assume you were in one of those doubting moments, what would you really liked to have known?

what were the question you wanted to know but were afraid to ask?.

what questions, when answered well by a da/fader would have the biggest impact on opening the closed jw mind?

Check_Your_Premises

Or judging from the responses to this thread...

the average ex-jw would rather just hang out and talk with real people, rather then fill out a questionairre as if they are apart of some science experiment?

43

IDEA regarding my mother.

by RichieRich in

its richie again.. i was thinking last night about my inevitable, fast approaching exit from the wtbts.

i guess that out of common courtesy, i will provide a copy of my disassociation letter to my mother, however, it is nothing more than a baptism nullification / gag order / i'll sue all of you letter.

its not one of those lengthy numbers that some have chosen to write.

First off I want to thank you for raising such a great kid. I am 34, and everytime I have talked with your son I have always been amazed by him. Much past my 20th birthday, I don't think I ever met a 17 year old I wanted to spend any time around. Here I am 14 years later, and I just get the biggest kick out of your son. He is without a doubt the funniest, nicest, wisest, and most decent 17 year old I have ever met.

I understand he is taking a different path from the one you chose for him. As a parent I understand how painful that can be. The great, painful realization of parenting is that you realize you only have so much control over them. Eventually, they are going to do what they want to do, and become who they want to be. All we can do is watch and hold our breath. I wouldn't worry about your son to much. He just has to much going for him. Whatever the truth is, he has the intelligence and honesty to get as close to it as anybody. If he ends up in a different place then you, it would probably make a lot of sense to try to understand why. I sure hope I do as good of a job raising my kids.

The other thing I know from speaking to him, is that he loves his momma very much. And he always will. My mother told me that "the only woman that ever really loves you is your momma."

CYP

43

IDEA regarding my mother.

by RichieRich in

its richie again.. i was thinking last night about my inevitable, fast approaching exit from the wtbts.

i guess that out of common courtesy, i will provide a copy of my disassociation letter to my mother, however, it is nothing more than a baptism nullification / gag order / i'll sue all of you letter.

its not one of those lengthy numbers that some have chosen to write.

Check_Your_Premises

Curious why you feel the need to DA? I've faded for over 7 years, and my mom still talks to me.

Yeah, I was wondering that myself RIchie? Less heartache for mom, you still get to talk to her, and since you still get to talk to her you are able to help her have a different perspective.

I guess it doesn't have the closure or finality you might want. I think that dramatic crap is overrated. It's the small, simple, unspectacular things that will improve your situation over the long haul.

If you do feel compelled to go through with your terribly thoughtful, clever, and wise (beyond your years as usual) plan I would make a few suggestions. Remember, the fundamental rules when talking to a person under mind control:

1. Never attack the org.

2. Ask honest, genuine, and humble questions that encourages and challenges the person to have a different perspective.

3. Emphasize your decision to be a matter of conscience and a desire to be a good person, not out of a desire to be sinful. (Hey it might not be true, but assure her you won't be dating strippers. It is good to tell these lies to your mother.)

4. Make sure to tell her how much you will always love her, no matter what. Conditional cult love loses to genuine unconditional love EVERYTIME!

Take those comments that align with those fundamental rules and present those to her. I think the ones you want the most are the ones that just talk about how much we admire your wisdom, wit, and maturity without mentioning those qualities in the context of your opposition to the org.

Take care bro. Everytime I read your stuff, I am bummed that we didn't go through that "real heavy drinking and puking" time of our lives together. Mine is long past. Yours isn't even here yet!!! Good times!

CYP

14

When you were a jw, what questions would you have liked to ask a da/fader..

by Check_Your_Premises in

jw
friends

assume you were in one of those doubting moments, what would you really liked to have known?

what were the question you wanted to know but were afraid to ask?.

what questions, when answered well by a da/fader would have the biggest impact on opening the closed jw mind?

Check_Your_Premises

Personal in the sense of how you view your conscience, faith and the wt.

Not personal in the sense of being anyway useful for identifying a person.

14

When you were a jw, what questions would you have liked to ask a da/fader..

by Check_Your_Premises in

jw
friends

assume you were in one of those doubting moments, what would you really liked to have known?

what were the question you wanted to know but were afraid to ask?.

what questions, when answered well by a da/fader would have the biggest impact on opening the closed jw mind?

Check_Your_Premises

Here are a few off the top of my head.

1. Why did you leave the JW?
2. Were you DF/DA/Inactive?
3. Do you think you could ever go back, and why/why not?
4. If you are convinced they are not God's organization, breifly
describe the moment when you came to that realization.
5. How is your life better/worse/different?
6. What do you like the most about no longer being a jw?
7. What do you like the least?
8. Have you suffered any loss of family relationships since leaving?

14

When you were a jw, what questions would you have liked to ask a da/fader..

by Check_Your_Premises in

jw
friends

assume you were in one of those doubting moments, what would you really liked to have known?

what were the question you wanted to know but were afraid to ask?.

what questions, when answered well by a da/fader would have the biggest impact on opening the closed jw mind?

Check_Your_Premises

Assume you were in one of those doubting moments, what would you really liked to have known? What were the question you wanted to know but were afraid to ask? What questions, when answered well by a da/fader would have the biggest impact on opening the closed jw mind?

CYP

64

if God proved he was there would you serve him

by force in

.

hiya all.

i just wondered this becus i know lots of people have lost faith in god and the bible.. but if today something happened that proved 100 percent that god existed, would you go back to serving him?.

Check_Your_Premises

TS,

Ha. I will let you and your women worship you. You alone should be the master of your domain.

CYP

66

Circuit Overseer Visit

by RichieRich in

jw
friends

.

this week, my congregation has the privilege of the visit from the circuit overseer.. my mother took a day off work to go out.

i put in for extra hours.. in the off chance we get wrapped up in discussion, what should i say?.

Check_Your_Premises

Great stuff Richie. You are fast on your feet.

I read on another thread that you still go out in service.

What kind of crap do you pull at the door? Maybe you could place a magaizine with a note tucked inside:

"HELP I AM TRAPPED IN A CULT!!!"

CYP

64

if God proved he was there would you serve him

by force in

.

hiya all.

i just wondered this becus i know lots of people have lost faith in god and the bible.. but if today something happened that proved 100 percent that god existed, would you go back to serving him?.

Check_Your_Premises

I think when we all get to meet God, it will be alot like meeting someone at an apostafest that you have been talking to for awhile online.

He won't be anything like what we imagined, but once we meet him all the stuff that he said and did will make total sense.

CYP

8

CLUES that your loved one is ready to listen?

by jgnat in

some of us have success stories, yaay!

where we are able to share openly with our jehovah's witness loved-ones what bothers us about the society.

the most recent anti-witness is from diamondblue, congratulations!

Check_Your_Premises

I don't know if there is a single thing to look for, although I would say the first thing to go when my wife is vulnerable is field service. If she isn't 100 dubbed out, field service is a no-go.

But I have learned to look for other clues. Usually a dub goes in phases of zealotry and doubt. When my wife is doubting it is usually at a time when she isn't keeping up on things as much. Other things are taking up her time, and the jw lifestyle starts taking it's toll. I try to read her comments in her WT. Those are interesting and illuminating. You start to see what is important to them.

I also know that there are times when I should back way off. Or when we are discussing a topic, I have learned when I have stepped to far.

It is hard to say J. I think I mostly go on instincts. It is a matter of honing, refining, and trusting them.

CYP

Check_Your_Premises

Posts by Check_Your_Premises