Your post brought tears to my eyes....
I can completely understand where you are coming from with feeling shunned in a supposedly "friendly" congregation of Jehovah's people. I never had any friends in the congregation growing up and my family was at the lower end of the income spectrum and had to work a lot. So we always got the "we missed you at the meeting" or "how is everything, ok?" when my parents had to work late or something. I find myself always wondering about "The Truth", so I ordered Ray Franz's 2 books to hopefully educate myself a bit more. Up until I started searching the net a week or so ago, I was completely unaware of these many untruths and flip-flops when it comes to the JWs. I had always had questions but were afraid to ask for fear of being criticized. This is a great message board and I'm learning lots from everyone!! My heart goes out to you NWT, for what you have gone through.