Posts by exjwshell

25

My bit of an introduction

by Thinking in

in a very short time here i have truely appreciated the openess of the people that post here.

the ability to share thoughts and feelings in a most respectful and honest way.

i have been thankful to be validated with alot of what i was feeling and thinking with some things regarding the jw experiance.

exjwshell

Welcome, Thinking. Thank you for sharing your story with us. We are happy you are here and hope to hear from you again.

"Unconditional Love is never popular" made me teary..it's so true!

~Shell

12

Need Ideas - Parenting Problem/Question

by exjwshell in

jw
friends

here's a question to all of you parents out there.... do any of you, especially those who were born and raised as a jw, have trouble parenting your non-jw children?...

i've been "out" for 18 years and since then have married and had two children.

i find it incredibly difficult to not parent "witness style".

exjwshell

Here's a question to all of you parents out there...

Do any of you, especially those who were born and raised as a jw, have trouble parenting your non-jw children?...

I've been "out" for 18 years and since then have married and had two children. I find it incredibly difficult to not parent "witness style". I try to resist and remind myself that the way my parents handled things are NOT the way I should. I struggle with this everyday. My parents were VERY strict (dad was an elder) and now I find that my husband and I are constantly disagreeing about what we should and should not let our teenagers do.

It's just habit, I guess, you parent (whether you want to or not) in a similar way that your parents did. It's what you've learned growing up. I'm constantly over-paranoid that something bad will happen if I let him go to a party or drive around with his friends (who are good kids), etc.

For example: Tonight my son wanted to go a birthday party for a girl friend in a neighboring town. He was going to ride with another friend of his from our town...I just really didn't want him to go. What if something happened? What if there was an accident? What if some unruly, unsupervised kids showed up?...My husband told me that I was way over paranoid and too strict and that we should let him go...which we did...but as my son walked out of the house he said, "Mom, we are not witnesses. You are trying to raise me like you were raised."

I was so mad! It's a good thing he said it as he walked out the door or he would have gotten an "earful". After a little while I started thinking...he's sorta right. I'm not NEARLY as strict as my parents were but I am always telling him NO...like my parents did to me.

I want my children to have the freedom to be kids...I NEVER had that. I'm just not sure how to do it. Has anyone else had these sorts of problems?

92

Trying to get to know people on the JWD

by cindykp in

jw
friends

i havent been here that long, and just trying to get to know a little more about the people im chatting with.

i know some dont want to share too much info, which i understand.

so.............im divorced, have 3 kids, lived in florida for 15 years, now back home in wi.

exjwshell

ColdRedRain,

I'm not surprised, at all.

It was quite a "to-do" over in the cities when we left

92

Trying to get to know people on the JWD

by cindykp in

jw
friends

i havent been here that long, and just trying to get to know a little more about the people im chatting with.

i know some dont want to share too much info, which i understand.

so.............im divorced, have 3 kids, lived in florida for 15 years, now back home in wi.

exjwshell

Hi Cindy!

I think it's a great topic too.

First Name: Michelle (everyone just calls me Shell)

Married, not gay, have two children..son 15...daughter 11. I was born and raised as a jw (father was an elder) grew up in MN. Disfellowshipped in 1988 - married (worldly guy) moved to Wisconsin.

Hope to chat with you sometime!

~Shell

21

Ahh the Freedom

by forgetmenot in

jw
friends

it's been so long since i've been here.

hmmm...suppose that warrants a new introduction, which will conveniently lead to the subject of my post: ahh the freedom.

i am twenty years old, with my twenty-one run fast approaching.

exjwshell

Oh how I love Tuesday and Thursday night TV and cartoons on Saturday & Sunday mornings! It's been years since I've been out and I still cherish my Tuesday and Thursday nights!

(except the smurfs...I'm still scared of them)

~Shell

10

UFO sightings and close encounters

by seesthesky in

have you seen a ufo or had a close encounter with an (apparent) extraterrestrial?

exjwshell

Let me start by saying that I am a very level headed person and have NEVER seen a UFO myself, BUT my husband swears that he and a couple of friends saw one years ago in his hometown. For years he's told me this story of a multi-colored, hovering, disc-like object that he and several friends saw one night. He says the next day all of them sketched a picture of what they saw and the sketches were all the same. (He swears they weren't "on" anything).

I have just listened to his story being retold for years. A couple of years ago while surfing the "net", he did some searches on UFO sightings in MN. Well, as it turns out a police officer in a town that was very close to where my husband grew up reported a UFO and described it just as my husband and his friends saw it.

HMMM....

~Shell

23

Has anyone ever had an experience with ghosts or spirits?

by cindykp in

jw
friends

most of us were taught that this was the works of satin.

im not sure i believe that.

i had never had any experiences before i moved in there.

exjwshell

I have to say that for many years I was VERY scared of spirits, especially with all the demon hoopla...For quite a while I even doubted that they existed...after all, wasn't just the 144,000 that went to heaven and what would any of them want with me?... But over the years I've had several "ghostly" or "spiritual" experiences that have changed my outlook and I've learned that it's really not a creepy thing...

The biggest thing that changed my outlook has to be back in 2001 when my brother (my half-brother, actually who was 10 years younger than me) was very ill and eventually died of brain cancer at age 23. While he was well he used to always tease me that when he died he would come back and write messages to me on the bathroom mirror....to prove that there was life beyond earth (he was NEVER a jw)..ok...that totally creeped me out and he knew it!

He never did do it...Thank God!! but he has communicated with me several times. His voice just pops into my head every once in a while and talks to me...especially when I'm sad or depressed or whatever. He also was a bit of a coin collector...he kept old pennies, dimes, etc. I find dimes EVERYWHERE...in my van, on the floor, even once while cleaning weeds out of my sidewalk cracks one day - a dime popped out of nowhere...it's weird...I'll bet I find 5 to 10 a week.

Some people believe me...some don't. That's ok, either way cause I know WITHOUT A DOUBT that its him.

There have been many other experiences that my family has had...to many to even recall. It's so much more comforting to think that when you die your spirit lives on...rather then just rot away in the ground.

I've often thought about some of my family's, older, jw friends that have died. They had to have been so shocked to realize they were in heaven!

:) Just my two cents...

Love, Shell

38

Hi Everyone...I'm New

by exjwshell in

just wanted to say hello to everyone on this forum.

i've "lurked" for quite some time, thought it was time make my first post.

my story is long and boring and too complicated to remember so the short version is this:.

exjwshell

Golf...that's too funny about your wife being "worldly" too!

When I first met my husband I was still "in" and was scared to death to date a "worldly" guy.

I was brought up a jw and kept having these nightmares about going to his house to meet his parents and they would be smoking pot, doing drugs, sitting around their christmas tree swearing at each other or they would have those evil, demon-infested smurfs running around their house!....Oh the things we learn! I realized how sheltered my life had been.

38

Hi Everyone...I'm New

by exjwshell in

just wanted to say hello to everyone on this forum.

i've "lurked" for quite some time, thought it was time make my first post.

my story is long and boring and too complicated to remember so the short version is this:.

exjwshell

Holy cow! Talk about quick responses!

Thank you for the warm welcome.

To answer the question about my father...no, I no longer have a relationship with him...he's remarried for the fourth time and lives in Arizona.

The "father" issue is also complicated...found out in my teens that he was not my biological father...my parents never lied to me about it they just didn't tell me or anyone else...anyways, my biological father (who I found after I was disfellowshipped) is a drunk and didn't like the idea of having a daughter that was so close in age to his wife.

38

Hi Everyone...I'm New

by exjwshell in

just wanted to say hello to everyone on this forum.

i've "lurked" for quite some time, thought it was time make my first post.

my story is long and boring and too complicated to remember so the short version is this:.

exjwshell

Just wanted to say hello to everyone on this forum. I've "lurked" for quite some time, thought it was time make my first post.

My story is long and boring and too complicated to remember so the short version is this:

Was brought up as a witness

My father was a "big-time" elder for years and was disfellowshipped (for having an affair) (huge scandal)

My parents are divorced (after my father was disfellowshipped, the elders in the congregation paid for my mom to file)

All three of my sisters and my mother are "out" (Thank God!) (I'm very fortunate)

I was disfellowshipped in 1987 (I was 18)

Attended two different congregations in St. Paul, MN (my father was an elder at both)

Married in 1988 and moved to Western Wisconsin, have two children

I have had so much fun reading all of your posts and stories! Brings back memories (some good, some not so good) but it is so nice to meet a group of people who understand...especially the "lingo"... My husband of 17 years is "worldly" and just doesn't "get it" (which is a good thing a lot of the time!)