Posts by exjwshell

51

Wife joining, but I don't want the kids to get all brainwashed

by Check_Your_Premises in

my wife is joining.

she feels that the choice is between nothing and god, and that the only way to have a relationship with god is through these people.

i have accepted that.

exjwshell

Well the point of my strategy was to try to avoid those "tricky" little ways they will have of indoctrinating the kids. Is there something my above described strategy does not cover.

One particular problem I see is that you mentioned that your wife believes what the jws teach....in that case, she believes that those who do not follow the ways of the jws will be destroyed in armageddon ... wouldn't that mean you?

I think that any person who truly believes this teaching would fight like heck to keep their family from dying in armageddon.

I do think you're in a position of power being that you are the "head of the household" but that does not give you authority over what your wife is taught by the jws or what she feels or believes to be true.

Just my two cents, I guess.

~Shell

51

Wife joining, but I don't want the kids to get all brainwashed

by Check_Your_Premises in

my wife is joining.

she feels that the choice is between nothing and god, and that the only way to have a relationship with god is through these people.

i have accepted that.

exjwshell

I was born and raised a jw...until I was 18. I left when I turned 18, for many reasons but especially because my parents drilled it into my head that everything I did as a child would reflect back onto them in Jehovah's eyes.

They would sit with us (my two sisters and me) and have these "family meetings" and tell us how they were scared sometimes because of some of the things we did (stupid things like accidentially swear or say something mean or rude to someone...little things...) and they would tell us, If armageddon came tomorrow they didn't know if they would get to live in the "new system" based upon the things WE had done. Since we were little kids everything that we did NOW would effect THEM in the END. Now, that is a terrible, awful way to grow up!

My point is this...BE CAREFUL! Witnesses are VERY tricky. I would hate for you to get "sucked" in and then have to raise your children the JW way. I think you already can sense that they have their "ways" to get someone involved. I think it's wonderful that you are putting your children first in your life...Don't compromise them, stay strong.

TRUST ME when I say...It's a horrible way to be raised.

~Shell

46

My first post and THANK YOU to all

by xjwms in

jw
friends

this site has been a place that i have visited many times.. i would like to make some friends and meet local people.. to blondie ... words cannot explain how much i appreciate.

the reviews.

i can see so clearly how the studies keep members.

exjwshell

Welcome! Looking forward to reading more from you...Congratulations on your decision to be free!

~Shell

34

Another Newbie from Wisconsin

by TooOpinionated in

jw
friends

after seeing all the new people from wisconsin today i decided to come out of my lurker mode.

i have been practically obsessed with this board since i discovered it, and i give everyone here credit for helping my husband and i leave the borg.

i had been in 11 years, and my husband 27 years, along with our 3 small children.

exjwshell

Hello and Welcome! So glad you decided to join. I'm new also and was so surprised to see how many are from Wisconsin. We're looking forward to reading more from you! Congratulations on you and your husband's decision to be happy and free!

~Shell

34

Hi everyone!

by schne_belly in

jw
friends

well - this is my first post.

i want to express my gratitude to all of you in jwd land for the help you provide.

i'd be glad to relate stories, and experiences in the future, but wanted to introduce myself first.

exjwshell

Welcome! We are glad you are here...Looking foward to reading about your experiences and insights.

~Shell

46

Describe The Life of a Jehovah's Witness

by minimus in

jw
friends

typically, what life does a jw lead?

witnesses relish the thought that they are "different" from the rest of the "world"......how so???

?

exjwshell

Growing up as a Jehovah's Witness you are constantly stared at, made fun of, picked on, etc. for being different.

"Worldly" children & some teachers feel you are being disrespectful for not saying the Pledge of Allegiance, you are teased and taunted for not being able to participate in classroom parties that involve holidays, birthdays, etc. You are a loner because "bad associations spoil useful habits", you are scared because of demons (ie smurfs, worldly music, etc).

To sum it all up....it sucks!

~Shell

11

Sara Lee

by homme perdu in

jw
friends

do you remeber sara lee used to be given out at the assemblies?

exjwshell

I remember, years ago...probably in the late 70's or early 80's the assemblies here in the midwest used to have some Sara Lee...I especially remember the Danish Rolls. The cheese filled danish were the best!

~Shell

12

Need Ideas - Parenting Problem/Question

by exjwshell in

jw
friends

here's a question to all of you parents out there.... do any of you, especially those who were born and raised as a jw, have trouble parenting your non-jw children?...

i've been "out" for 18 years and since then have married and had two children.

i find it incredibly difficult to not parent "witness style".

exjwshell

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and replies. It makes me feel better to at least know that I'm not the only one going through all of this.

Raising teenagers is hard enough...but raising teenagers differently than your parents did is really a tough job!

Beautiful Garbage: It was my concern whether the party was supervised too...it was by the girl's dad, while this made me feel a little better, the paranoia still took over!

Jez: I know what you mean about your husband! I trust my husband too. He does a good job calming me down during my periods of "what-if" thinking. In my heart, I know that he knows what is right.

Ash: I completely understand and go through the exact same things as you! It's awful when you parent to the best of your ability and have others "question" your decisions.

I do have to learn to "choose my battles". My fear is choosing the wrong ones! Experience is the best teacher, I guess.

Gypsy: I have two kids, my son is 15 (16 in August) and my daughter is 12.

La Capra: Oh, I know he's got my number! But we told him that we were young too, not that long ago. He knows that his dad knows "every trick in the book". We do have a very open relationship with both of our kids. We know that they are not going to tell us EVERYTHING but, we try to keep the lines of communication open so that if they need to talk, we will always be there to listen.

Thanks everyone for your replies. It really does help alot to be able to see what others think.

~Shell

66

Do some WT phrases make you squirm?

by jeanniebeanz in

jw
friends

for me it's "the doors of the ark are closing.

i can never forget as a child, being forced to see the graphic images in the publications showing families, mothers with little babies clinging to a rock and others drowning as the ark floats away.

fathers shaking their fists at god for destroying their families... it's like some of the little mind control still functioning in there somewhere causing a kneejerk reaction of uneasiness.... are there any others that bug you?.

exjwshell

Besides the words "new system" and the phrase "Bad associations spoil useful habits" the idea that was constantly drilled into my head as a little kid was the fact that because I was not an adult EVERYTHING I did...would be used to judge my parents...If I accidentially swore or took a piece of candy at a birthday celebration at school...anything....I could ruin it for my parents...they wouldn't make it into the "new system"....OH I HATED THAT!....No wonder I have guilt issues!

I know thats why I left when I turned 18.

~Shell

12

Need Ideas - Parenting Problem/Question

by exjwshell in

jw
friends

here's a question to all of you parents out there.... do any of you, especially those who were born and raised as a jw, have trouble parenting your non-jw children?...

i've been "out" for 18 years and since then have married and had two children.

i find it incredibly difficult to not parent "witness style".

exjwshell

Thank you for your replies...I think you are both right! I think I need to not "freak-out" as much but I also think that using what I have learned (some of it, anyways) can be used to my advantage.