Just a reflection on my own silly life. Or the very subtle nature of the "leaven of hypocrisy". When I started to question the JW doctrine, I realised that there were some subjects I had always been uneasy with, although I ;had never really admitted it to myself before.
Did I ever believe? Had I been asked I would have answered yes, without any conscience of lying. Yet looking back I can't help thinking ;that sometimes ;my sincerity was very superficial.
This of course is not limited to JWs. Being stuck in a militant, teaching or apologetic position always leads you to appear more convinced than you really are. The cost of any admission of doubt, even to yourself, ;gets higher and higher ;until it is ;too high to afford. And while we are there we can ;hurt ourselves badly.
That sounds like what the JW org. does
—
discouraging questions and anything that hints of doubt.
See, I don'
t agree with that. Honest questions and expressions of doubt are normal and should be respected and openly discussed, either in a group or on an individual basis, whichever is best for those asking. Any church or organization should provide an environment that supports asking questions, discussing troubling issues or new ideas. These issues should be addressed intelligently and with compassion, not be suppressed, ignored, discouraged, or rebuked. These latter responses come from fear and the fact that those in authority have their own doubts that have never been dealt with. One poster here brought up an issue which he had presented to a Christian co-worker and had received the reply,
"
Just believe.
"
I wrote that was a poor response on the part of the co-worker. Charles Darwin left the church in search of answers because his probing questions were brushed aside by someone in the clergy. This kind of treatment is disrespectful of the honest seeker and does a disservice to everyone involved.
Understand, first of all, that I'
m different than many here in that I didn
’
t come out of a repressive, controlling organization that misrepresented facts. I
’
ve always been free to question and examine and determine my own path.
I fell everyone should be open to new understanding. I consider myself to have been a Christian for over 40 years (since about age 11). I
’
ve made all my major decisions based on prayer and leading--
who to marry, where to live, what job to take--
and I
’
ve seen a lot that conforms to what I see the Bible teaches. In that time, I
’
ve developed a perspective that I
’
m comfortable with, yet I
’
m still open to new information, and I
’
m willing to modify my perspective if the evidence warrants.
Understand that over this long period, I
’
ve actually developed a personal relationship of sorts with this God, to the extent it is possible. So, if I stand up for Him or what I understand He has said, it
’
s not from a need to be right or justified, or to defend some organization I belong to and have invested in. It
’
s the same as if I defended a close friend or family member, or anyone I felt was deserving of defense.
I
’
ll let you in on something else: I'
m even at peace with the possibility that I may be wrong. Following the teachings of the Bible changed my life. I was headed for a troubled life, but the Bible kept me from drugs when my friends were into them, and it kept me out of other troubles I know I would have had. It has helped me to be a better son, a better husband, a better father, a better employee, a better citizen, on and on. Its wisdom helped me make a lot of good decisions. It
’
s been a dynamic force in my life, and I can trace the problems I do have to not following it better. (And God was not punishing me. It
’
s just a case of not following the instructions and getting the consequences. If someone is prescribed a medicine for a problem and they take it according to the directions, they receive the benefit. If they don
’
t take it according to the instructions, they don
’
t get the benefit. It
’
s as simple as that to me. God wants to keep us from what
’
s out there, but we have to follow the instructions to get the benefit. If we don
’
t, there are often consequences. Sometimes God protects us from them, or removes the effects, but sometimes not to, sometimes maybe to serve as a reminder and example. I have no problem with that.) So, in any case, it was a good decision for me to follow this God in this life, even if that'
s all it counted for.
Anyway, I hope this gives you a better understanding of my perspective. I have a lot of respect for scholars like you, Leolia, and Pete. I wish I had your resources and depth of knowledge of the ancient literature and languages, and reading posts like the three of you put up has encouraged, and even challenged me to dust off some old books, showing me how much I enjoyed this type of study. But if I see another side to your statements, I hope you'
ll understand when I speak up. My opinions don
’
t come out of a vacuum, nor am I just parroting someone else, I actually have studied this out somewhat, and I have lived it.
Regards,
Mike
