Posts by SamIam1976

22

Well, I handled that amazingly well...

by Joel Wideman in

as my wife predicted, my mother heard that she da'd herself.

she called, and spoke with my boy for awhile.

(she needs her medication adjusted.

SamIam1976

Good evening Andrea and Joel, :)

Both of you have a lot of courage to stand up for your kids and yourselves. I had to do the same thing with my parents and my children. My oldest is 4 and absolutely loves his grandpa! He will follow him anywhere. Exept to the KH that is. I used to leave him with my parents (before my daughter was born) and each time my husband and I would instruct them that they were NOT to bring him to the KH for the Sunday meeting. We even arranged to pick him up before they were supposed to go to their meeting. But...each time they would ignore us and bring him anyway. It was their excuse to show off their 1st born grandson. After the second time they did this to us we said ok no more babysitting overnight. Since my daughter has been born their visits have been at OUR home at OUR convenience. NOT THEIR'S. And its worked out perfectly well. My father has also stopped talking to me about the goings on at Bethel and the "brothers and sisters" from my home congregation. LOL I guess my half-hearted "uh=huh's" and non-responses clued him in that I really don't care about that part of my old life anymore. I also shared my DA letter with them and they actually hugged me after they read it and told me they were proud of me for sticking to my principals. ?? I am still trying to figure that one out. LOL But my husband says just take what I can get and shut the hell up. <haha> Maybe he's right. :)

I have found it particularly hard to stand up for myself where my "faithful" JW parents are concerned. But its now been 11 years outside of their control and I have had plenty of practice standing up for myself and protecting my children. I love them too much to subject them to such misery.

My hat goes off to the two of you. Keep up the good work God knows its not easy to put up with our families.

Sherry

35

I am not alone!!!!!

by Krisiva10 in

jw
friends

it took me a bit of reading through some posts to realize that this site is exactly what i have been looking for, for such a long time!!

people to share my blown away realization i experienced after i quit going to the meetings and went against my mother!

it feels great to see people who have gone through and felt the same as i and who have taken the steps to change their life.

SamIam1976

Welcome to the board!

You are right, you are not alone in your decision to leave this religion. Hard is definately and understatement when trying to describe leaving. But you are on the right track and I hope you are on a better path to happiness in your life. Good things do happen and God has not abandoned you because you have left this region. And always remember there will be people who can help, support and listen to anything you have to share.

((big hugs))

Sherry

59

Vaginal Birth or Cesarean Section

by Dimples in

to all the mommy's out there...did you deliver vaginally or by c-section?.

i was fortunate enough to deliver both my children vaginally although i came close to a c-section with my son.

he was in the posterier position.

SamIam1976

LOL Simon! What a trooper you are, your wife is a lucky lady.

59

Vaginal Birth or Cesarean Section

by Dimples in

to all the mommy's out there...did you deliver vaginally or by c-section?.

i was fortunate enough to deliver both my children vaginally although i came close to a c-section with my son.

he was in the posterier position.

SamIam1976

As long as we are swapping war stories here; both were born naturally...

1st Boy weighed in at 7lbs 12 oz 21 1/2 inches long-- The morning I went in to have my little guy I couldn't sleep that whole night. I was up pacing the bedroom until 2am when my husband finally said, "please come to bed you are driving me crazy, woman!" LOL So, I finally laid down and dreamed that I was swimming in a water fall. I awoke in a pool of warm water! I never saw my husband get out of bed so fast. (haha) I called my parents who lived an hour away from us...called the doctor and went the 5 minutes to the hospital. It was 5am, Sean was born at 6:59pm Feb 9, 2001. I have never experianced so much pain in my life. Until his sister made her appearance:

My 2nd was a Girl who weighed in at 6 lbs 18 inches long---This little peanut gave us quite the scare. I was considered a high risk pregnancy from day one because I had un-explained bleeding. I was put on bedrest for the last half of my pregnacy. As you ladies might know having a toddler doesn't involve anything pertaining to bed rest. So hubby and I had to put son into a daycare for the remander of my pregancy. Kaitlyn seemed to be quite comfy in her surroundings because we had MANY false alarms. They had to break my water and once that was done the contractions started coming on strong and fierce. I tried to go into the tub but couldnt get comfortable. I liked sitting on that big ball. Finally after 3/4 hours of hard labor I couldn't take it anymore. I called in the Epidural Doc! I honestly can't tell you what hurt worse, the contractions or that damn thing that was stuck in my spine! But it was a hell of a lot better getting the baby out with that because one push she was out. Unlike Sean who had to have the nurse get up on top of me and literally push his head out from between my pelvis. I endured his birth with no drugs at all. Thats why I elected for the epidural with Kaitlyn's birth. And we video taped her birth too. I have to tell you the recovery for my second was so much easier than the first. But now I have two gorgeous kids and loving every minute of it!!

I do have a question for you ladies. I know I saw one post in this thread pertaining to tubes tied and pain. I am scheduled to have that done Sept. 30th. Can you tell me how painful the recovery is? And has it changed anything as far as your montly's are concerned? Just wondering.

Sherry

11

Legal Question on forcing the blood issue...

by SamIam1976 in

i have a question to shoot out there to anyone who may be familiar with the jw legalities with the blood transfusion issue.

i would like to know if i should put anything in writing to protect my rights as an independant married adult and cannot be forced by the courts to not take a blood transfusion if one is needed to save my life.

my parents are still very active jw's and they have always fought with me about my rights when anything legal like this comes up.

SamIam1976

Thanks willy and big dog. Your advise is very helpful, I'm glad I bit the bullet sort to speak and posted my question on here.

I do know that with this crazy legal system we have that anything is possible. But I doubt very much if my parents will fight tooth and nail to oppose my decisions. Because they aren't only MY decisions but my husband's as well. So far, my Dad has respected the "wishes" of my husband to the extent that when he does come by for his visit he will not mention anything about the Witnesses. My husband has been a very good leaning post for me through the last 8 years. He has been my pillar of strength when I was searching for a life raft back in 1997. I am so thankful that I have him in my life as as my life partner and father of my kids. I don't know what I would do without him. I just wish my parents could wake up and smell the coffee! My whole family has been literally torn apart by this religion and they still are "faithful" to their God. and to the Congregation. I asked my mother one time why if she is so unhappy with my father and with the people in the cong that she just stop going? Her response, "This is all I know, I have no other friends."

What can I do to show my parents that there is life outside of the local KH? And that they don't have to fight with me over every little issue that is clearly W.R.O.N.G.!?

11

Legal Question on forcing the blood issue...

by SamIam1976 in

i have a question to shoot out there to anyone who may be familiar with the jw legalities with the blood transfusion issue.

i would like to know if i should put anything in writing to protect my rights as an independant married adult and cannot be forced by the courts to not take a blood transfusion if one is needed to save my life.

my parents are still very active jw's and they have always fought with me about my rights when anything legal like this comes up.

SamIam1976

Thank you everyone for your responses. Now I know what I need to do and who I will involve in the process. My husband's family have been very understanding about my upbringing and have been more supportive than my own flesh and blood relatives ever have been. I count myself one of the lucky ones who made it out of this cult alive and have been "adopted" by a kind and loving Baptist family. HAHA!

I love my parents very much but I don't want them to force their beliefs on my children or myself at any time. Even if I am going to live to see them grow up and have children of their own, which is my plan. LOL I want to have all my bases covered "Just in case".

11

Legal Question on forcing the blood issue...

by SamIam1976 in

i have a question to shoot out there to anyone who may be familiar with the jw legalities with the blood transfusion issue.

i would like to know if i should put anything in writing to protect my rights as an independant married adult and cannot be forced by the courts to not take a blood transfusion if one is needed to save my life.

my parents are still very active jw's and they have always fought with me about my rights when anything legal like this comes up.

SamIam1976

Thanks Blondie for that helpful link! I have saved it in my favorites so that my husband and I can review it together. He will be my appointed agent and we have already discussed the possibility of having a living will drawn up for both of us and signed by a lawyer in the event we should need something like this. If something happens to both of us we are having a difficult time figuring out what we should do about our children as well. My husband doesn't want my parents to fight over custody of our children should something happen to the both of us. If we both make a living will and put our wishes in writing then my parents will not be able to have a legal leg to stand on in regards to forcing their religion on me or my kids, correct?

We will be stating in our Living Wills to whom our children will be cared for. He is the youngest of 9 children so his family will definately be the ones to care for our children should the need arise. I just want to make sure that I don't have anything to worry about with my fanatical JW parents lurking in the background.

11

Legal Question on forcing the blood issue...

by SamIam1976 in

i have a question to shoot out there to anyone who may be familiar with the jw legalities with the blood transfusion issue.

i would like to know if i should put anything in writing to protect my rights as an independant married adult and cannot be forced by the courts to not take a blood transfusion if one is needed to save my life.

my parents are still very active jw's and they have always fought with me about my rights when anything legal like this comes up.

SamIam1976

Hi there,

I have a question to shoot out there to anyone who may be familiar with the JW legalities with the blood transfusion issue.

I would like to know if I should put anything in writing to protect my rights as an independant married adult and cannot be forced by the courts to NOT take a blood transfusion if one is needed to save my life. My parents are still very active JW's and they have always fought with me about my rights when anything legal like this comes up. If anyone knows the legal laws for the state of Maine or if I even have anything to worry about I would appreciate some feedback.

Thanks.

Sherry

47

How long is too long?

by Insomniac in

just a question, for those who might know.

how long should you hang onto a relationship, when it's becoming undeniably clear that it's going nowhere?.

i'm so in love, with the most wonderful person i've ever known.

SamIam1976

(((((((((Insomniac))))))))))))))))))

I do have to give you a call girl! I know you have been struggling with your "weekend friend" now for a long time. I can tell you that when I was living with my now husband we lived together for 2 years before we got married. And I think the only reason we did get married is because of all the family pressure that surrounded us. But we were happy being together and we wanted to have a big party with our family around us to show that we were committed to each other. ( I consider him my soulmate too) Now look where we are, 8 years later 2 kids later and building a brand new house. LOL. I would say that if you can't get his real feelings out in the open about this marriage thing then you should just take a break from him. Stop doing the "wifey" things and just concentrate on YOU.

BTW...I'm not that far away from you either. So if you need to chat you know my number. ;) hehehe

Love ya girl. I hope you figure things out. This is a difficult situation and there is no easy answer to solve it either.

Sherry

47

What kind of Apostate are you?

by diamondblue1974 in

jw
friends

i've been on this site now for a little while and think its brilliant and its been a tonic in getting things straight and for gathering research.

(thanks simon & ang).

in fact its difficult to get work done during the day because of reading posts on here.. a couple of months ago if someone wouldve asked me whether i was apostate i would have flatly refused partly because the indoctrination still has its effect even after a decade and the negative connotation attached to the word 'apostate' is still at the back of my mind.

SamIam1976

I like this question: "What kind of Apostate are you?"

It makes you sit and think about it for a while. I looked up the word apostate in the dictionary and this is what I found:

a·pos·tate ( P ) Pronunciation Key (
n.

One who has abandoned one's religious faith, a political party, one's principles, or a cause.

apostate

adj : not faithful to religion or party or cause n : a disloyal person who betrays or deserts his cause or religion or political party or friend etc. [syn: deserter, renegade, turncoat, recreant, ratter]

I found this definition quite facinating actually. I have been out of this religion for over 10 years now..been back and forth and finally made up my mind that I wasn't going to play games with them anymore and was sick of being a fence sitter just so that I could have a "guilt free" relationship with my parents. So, I wrote a letter to the elder that was harrassing me in my home. I made it clear that I wanted nothing more to do with them or this religion. So, I guess you would say that is when I formally "Disassociated" myself from this cult. I have found it extremely difficult to completely wash my brain free of all their teachings and indocrination. But I am working on it. I have not been to an "assembly" since just after 9/11/01. That is when I walked out of the assembly after a bethel "brother" prayed to God that we are better off than those people who died in the trade center.

To answer your question: "What kind of Apostate are you?"

I would have to say, I am an inquisitive apostate, a deserter of the JW faith that was ingrained in me since infancy. I was thrust out of the "nest" at 20 years old and made to figure out this world and learn how to grow into an adult. I am a happy well-adjusted married woman with 2 children who need me and a husband who is my best friend and lover and confidant. I am an independant apostate searching for the "truth" whatever that may be. I am free from the JW brain-washing that I had to endure for 20 years. Now I can finally figure out what being a "true Christian" is all about and raise my children with all the freedoms that was so harshly kept from me. I don't find any value in bashing this JW organization. They are a corporation who makes their followers stay out of fear. That is NOT how I want to live my life or teach my children.

I guess you could say....I'm a Happy..go lucky Apostate. I have left the anger and bitterness behind me and now lead a happy fulfilled life. I now have 2 kids to look after who need me to show them the world and that is what I am going to do!

SAM