I left in my late teens but had questions and doubts long before that. I saw the good that existed in people and actions outside the jw sphere and the hypocrisy that existed within. Many things about beliefs/doctrine didn't make sense to me. It all seemed so limiting, routine and well, boring and I yearned for a piece of the world and to make some noise. Typical teenager I suppose.
I moved out at age 18 in 1986 and began missing more meetings. I worked full time and partied with my worldly high school buddies, dated, learned to play bass, and all sorts of stuff I always wanted to do. I was still rather secretive about it all, old habits die hard. But someone saw me smoking / associating with rabid mutant zombies and ratted me out to the pharisees. So there was a serious meeting about my "wrongdoing", to which my reply was not to reply and not to return to the hall. Some announcement was made from the podium about my status and eh, whatever. Posers, lol
I was the first to leave the core jw family unit and there really weren't any relatives of any influence to me, one side consisting of some hardcore dubs and the other a different religious organization. I didn't talk about my doubts or questions with any of my jw friends, they seemed with the program and I just couldn't relate to them. But I liked people outside the dub realm who were inclined to discuss life, death and the universe, taking opportunity to engage and learn, relate and understand as best I could. I wanted to know what made people tick. I wanted to know how i ticked. I enjoyed conversations with some buddhist buddies. I discussed Nietzche, Jung and Marx with my university friends. I talked much with a hindu co-worker who later founded a small self-realization "centre". I bought ganja from a born again christian who "subjected the earth". Interesting conversation there. I talked to people and sampled diversity, all the while formulating my own life cocktail. Many of the fears and hangups slowly dissipated and I grew a spine and personality eventually, lol. It was a bit lonely at times but I put one foot in front of the other and kept moving. It certainly wasn't the fast track, given all the info and discussion you can get now at the touch of a keyboard. It was.
It wasn't until my thirties that I took a look back and seached out other xjws online. I found an meetup group, met a couple other xjws and found this place. It's been nice to connect with those that understand what it was like coming from that world.
