Posts by evita

12

Has anyone seen any inprovement in the meetings for service.

by sonnycrockett in

my first post.

yesterday we all met as a congreation for service at the hall.

remeber how the km had that article about starting on time and not talking afterwards but getting right to the territory?

evita

This brings up so many unpleasant memories for me. A couple of hours in field service can seem like eternity when you're bored out your skull.

I used to count the seconds until coffee break. If we didn't stop for coffee because we had some zealot in the car, I would go out of my mind with anxiety and boredom.

73

Who did you/do you want to be when you grew up?

by Crumpet in

when i was 9 i wanted to be daisy duke from the dukes of hazzard, but had to put aside the dream when i realised my legs weren't going to ever get any longer.. when i was 12 i wanted to be ghandi, but realised wars wouldnt stop because i missed breakfast.. when i was 16 i decided that by leaving the borg and living fast and hard enough being alice cooper was achievable.. now i'm 32 i think i'd quite like to have the sensuous, striking confidence and certainty of helen mirren when i grow up.. who did you want to be and why?.

evita

Pre-JW (5-14)

A ballerina
An ice skater
A go-go dancer
A Princess from another country
One of the Supremes
A nurse like Clara Barton
A fashion designer
A well-known feminist thinker

JW (15-18)

The perfect JW married to a perfect JW with perfect JW children

Leaving JW (18-22)

A combination of:
Chaka Khan - wild, beautiful, and a free-spirit
Joni Mitchell - cool, intellectual writer and artist

Mid-Years (22-Present)

A world traveler
A successful college grad
An accomplished career woman
A loving wife and mom with a satisfying family life
An entrepreneur
A humanitarian and philanthropist
And I still want to be a combo of Chaka and Joni - hehe

7

Undoing the Damage

by Amber Rose in

so, i was reading this thread http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/12/150394/1.ashx about psychological damage caused by being raised as a jw.

most seem to agree that yes, jw indoctrination is damaging to children.

so here is my question: what do we do about it?

evita

garybuss pretty much summed it up for me.

It has been extremely difficult to shake the belief that all "worldly" endeavors are dangerous and futile.

I have times when my idealism and creative energies overcome those beliefs. But I also experience depression and anxiety from old and deep conditioning and ways of thinking.

It definitely helps to keep busy with mental and social activity. That seems to help me the most. Also taking care of myself by eating right and staying physically active.

15

How many Of You...

by Perry in

jw
friends

...were between the ages of 10 and 15 in 1975; and looking back on your life how did that effect you?

evita

I was 15/16 in 1975. I was baptized early that year at the circus assembly. We (mom and 2 siblings) were "new in the truth" and my mother had been baptized in 1974.

1975 was a peak year for me as I was thoroughly indoctrinated at this point. Our congregation was very high on 1975 even though we were told from the platform that "no one knows the day or the hour". Yet excitment was in the air. Lots of field service activity, excitement about the assemblies, brothers and sisters all feeling the love. That was a great year to be a new JW!

I think it took a couple of years for it to sink in that the new system was not around the corner. I remember some talk of "minor miscalculations" concerning the exact timing. People began going about their normal business but still feeling guilty and being disciplined harshly for it.

By the time I turned 18, I was having major anxiety attacks about spending the rest of my life in such a stifling religion. I was aching to experience life, go to college, have normal relationships. But it took me another 4 years to actually leave/fade. And another 4 to deprogram myself.

And here I am 20 years later posting on an Ex-Jw message board - LOL!
Love you guys!

Eva

53

Worst WT term ever

by Robert7 in

jw
friends

my vote for the worst watchtower term is:.

circumcision of the heart!.

i can't believe that there are people who can not only say "circumcision of the heart" with a straight face in front of the congregation, but defend its 'meaning'.. other runners up in my opinion:.

evita

The "sheep-like ones" of Jehovah's organization
Are they "in the truth"?

79

How long have you been out now?

by hillbilly in

jw
friends

days?

months?

years?

evita

I faded over 20 years ago. My mother remained a very fanatical JW who professed to be one of the anointed.

When she died 3 years ago I had to revisit a lot of stuff I thought I had left behind so many years ago.

13

What was the real reason why you joined the 'truth'?

by lfcviking in

jw
friends

if you came out of the world (like myself), what was the main motivation why you joined/got baptised?.

was you genuinely disillusioned with the world and all of its badness and wanted real answers to why it was so?.

was you honestly convinced the world would one day be made into a paradise and wanted to be part of it?.

evita

Flying High Now

Sista, you just gave me my laugh for the day!

Eva

6

What is it about xmas that brings all the jdubs out of the cracks??

by student1 in

so tonight i recieved a few phone calls that have done nothing to lighten my already heavy mood... .

i am starting to think that disfellowshipping is a way to protect us (the ex dubs) from them (the deluded existing jdubs!

) (joke!

evita

So sorry Aphrodite. I went through this with my mother and it was very painful to deal with. We went through many ups and downs before she passed away. But I never regretted leaving the witnesses and gaining my freedom. Just keep letting "the moms" know you love them.

38

Anyone else feel like an emotional mutant at this time of year?

by tall penguin in

jw
friends

i've been attempting to infiltrate my friend's christmas traditions in an attempt to understand and appreciate the holiday.

i only had christmas until i was 5 when my mom converted to jw.

before that, christmas was really big in our house.

evita

I agree with Barbie Doll. Christmas is a difficult time of year for many and for various reasons.
Even though my parents were Jewish agnostics, I grew up celebrating Christmas. I have good memories of those times - on Christmas Eve we were so excited we couldn't sleep. My mom would secretly ring some little bells and tell us Santa was coming so we would get back into bed.
Then my parents divorced when I was 9. Those were some terrible times, we had no money and no daddy. My mom was severely depressed but we would exchange homemade gifts and try to be happy.
When I was 13, my mother began studying with the witnesses. I was baptized at 15. I was in for about 10 years but they were very impressionable years. When I left, I could not celebrate the holidays. I worked in retail and barely had any time off during the season. I was living alone and feeling very alienated from people, everything seemed so "wordly". I felt extremely guilty celebrating anything for a number of years. One year I was invited to a workmates house for Xmas dinner. I fell asleep in the living room for hours. Talk about "checking out". Another year I had turkey dinner alone at a Denny's restaurant and went home and cried. Poor me!
A few years later I met my husband. He came from a large family who always got together for the holidays. I started to feel more comfortable;my fear and guilt had faded somewhat. The year we married, we had a tree-trimming party. We asked our friends to bring ornaments to help us decorate our first tree together. 20 years later I still have those ornaments so lovingly given to us.
Then we had kids and the holidays got even better. Little kids are so innocent and they love rituals. My kids are now 16,12,and12 and we have to do everything the same way each year or they definitely notice.
Three years ago in December, my JW mom passed away. Now this season is tinged with much sadness and feelings of regret for me. I am so blessed to have a loving family and friends. But I still feel the sadness of my JW years. I'm also melancholy as time seems to be flying by so fast and my kids are getting so big. I hope they still come home for the holidays when they are grown.
I have many friends who struggle with mixed emotions during the holidays. But I think the added factor of having been a JW adds to the difficulties of the holiday.
Life definitely has its ups and downs. I hope you get to experience some holiday joy down the road.
Eva

81

Your Cong = Which Songs or Band were "Demonic?" Did you toss albums?

by Witness 007 in

let me start = "kiss" stood for knights in satans service, "ac/dc" was anti-christ devils children.

"hotel california" was demonic who knew!

"yummy yummy yummy i've got love in my tummy.

evita

Oh, I was always in trouble about the music. Constantly being given lectures about "idol worship".
I was really into R&B and would try to watch Soul Train when I could get away with it. I loved Chaka Khan and Rufus. Does anyone remember the album with her on the back in feathers and leather, legs spread apart. That's the album I got into the most trouble over.
When I left the witnesses, I bought all of Chaka's albums and listened to them until they wore out.
I still love Chaka -her beautiful voice expresses so much and helped me break free from the emotional constraints I felt as a young witness.
So to the WT society I say FUNK THIS!!!