I was proud as long as I was with other witlesses, out in service or at an assembly. But as soon as I went to school or work the warm fuzzies would disappear. It always made me sick to my stomach to come up against reality. It takes a lot of energy to maintain cognitive dissonance. I was painfully aware that the rest of the world considered us duped and pathetic.
Posts by evita
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20
Trouble explaining my life story to my boyfriend of almost 2 years
by findingmyway inwell, the time has come to explain my former jw life to my boyfriend of almost 2 years.
he's getting a bit tired of being there for me during my meltdowns and not knowing or fully understanding why i am having a meltdown.
i can no longer explain it as pms...he knows me too well now.
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evita
My first real date with my future husband was the same day that my mother informed me she was no longer speaking to me. I was devastated of course. So on our date I drank too much and spilled my whole life story. Talk about a lack of boundaries! He was very understanding and we continued to date. We have been married 18 years.
My husband had many reasons to be wary of me. In addition to the JW stuff, my parents had a very acrimonious divorce and my family was hugely dysfunctional. Before the dubs I had been a wild hippie child. Then my mom became a dub and my Dad got involved with est and married an est trainer. Plus I am Jewish and he comes from a very large, stable Irish Catholic family. Talk about some scary baggage!
We kind of blustered our way through the whole thing because we were young and in love. But our communication skills were sorely lacking. He rarely spoke about his feelings and I couldn't stop talking about mine. I am amazed we have made it considering...
In retrospect, I wish we had sought counseling early on. Nothing too intense, just talking with someone who had more wisdom than we did would have helped.
I know how difficult it is to carry the burden of a JW background and I wish you the best.
Eva -
34
I love Liver! What's your favorite recipe?
by Rod P inyears ago i was driving down the highway one night, listening to a radio talk show host.. he had some time to kill, so he said to the audience, "i know, let's talk about liver!
how many of you out there like liver?
and if you do like liver, do you have a favorite recipe.".
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evita
I love liver! Calves liver sauteed with bacon and onions. Chopped chicken liver with onions and lots of salt and pepper. I also like chicken livers sauteed with onion and a dash of soy sauce over brown rice. YUM!
Sadly, everyone in my family hates it so I never eat it. My mom cooked it a lot when I was growing up. She also made tongue and oxtail stew which was so delicious. -
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BEING SICK IS FOR THE RICH
by Dansk indear all,.
please allow me to vent off a little this morning.. as most of you will already know i have a rare form of cancer - mantle cell lymphoma - for which the prognosis is extremely poor (but there have been some people who have gone a good many years beyond the average).
i live in the uk where, not being a person of wealth, i depend heavily on the national health service (nhs).
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evita
When our mom was ill my sister and I researched numerous alternative treatments for her. Most were extremely cost prohibitive; just way out of our reach. In addition, they required travel and diligent adherence to programs which she could not manage by herself. We searched desperately for someone who could coordinate her care. It was very scary and discouraging.
Having experienced this with my mom, I just wanted to encourage you to do what you can. My mom was also helped by fresh organic juices and such. She seemed to have more energy on the days we juiced for her vs. the days her friends brought fried chicken and ice cream. Just an observation.
My heart goes out to you and your wife. I wish you the best.
Love, Eva -
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NO LONGER SATISFIED AS I WAS, WITH JWD FORUM
by outoftheorg inno this is not another { i am leaving this forum }.
it is just that i no longer am so hungry for the many posts as i once was.
i could not wait to get home and sign on to read all the posts from newbies and the heavy hitters.
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evita
I spent months lurking here late at night when my JW mom was dying. Even though I have been out for over 20 years I know hardly any X-JW's. I can't tell you how grateful I am to all of you for your comments and PM's. I cried a river and began to understand at a much deeper level my experience as a teen dub and ex dub. I learned so much from every painful and funny experience shared on this board.
Having said that, I too get weary at times. Re-hashing all this stuff can get you down. Sometimes posters get contentious or ignore serious posts for fluff. But I just got back from a 3-day camping trip and I sure missed everyone here. So for me, it's all good. Maybe just not 24/7.
Eva -
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One of the 144,000
by out of the box ini wanted to share this story.. we were (many years ago) going out in service.
i was in the car with annointed one driving, his wife and the person who had 'brought me into the faith' and my daughter.
we went through an intersection where this old man (annointed one) was not paying attention.
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evita
W. once
My mother was born in 1935 so I don't know what scriptural principles applied to her professing to be of the anointed. But i know she was not "heebeegeebee". She was a loyal and very devoted dub for over 30 years. She pioneered often and went to every meeting. She learned sign language and attended a deaf cong. for a number of years. She studied constantly and gave all of herself to jehoba. My mom was smart and talented; after she died I found many songs she had written in praise of jehoba.
Her problems with the congregations began because she was a very legalistic dub who had no qualms about calling the elders and others on their missteps. The JW religion taught her well how to sit in judgement of others but no elder likes to be shown the error of his ways. In addition, she married a JW who reportedly abused her and she divorced him against the counsel of her elders.
She took her "calling" as one of the 144,000 very seriously and studiously.
I never knew what to make of her professed anointing. At the time I was disgusted because it was more religious crap and I was just sick of it all.
All I know is that this religion took my mother; her love, life, talent, energy. Everything. It sickens me that they would reject her and threaten her with disfellowshipping after she devoted her life to them.
All I wanted was my mom back. Oops, it's too late. She's dead.
Eva -
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An End To Shunning
by Sunspot inwell, in my case anyway.
for those of you that may recall my posts about my family and that after i left the wts, how i wrote long (and painful) letters to my nonjw children among others.
i had tried to explain why i had shunned them and how very sorry i was, and for all the mistakes i had made throughout their childhoods as a jw mother.
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evita
I am so happy that you reconciled with your family. I wish my mom had done this sooner so I would have had more time with her before she died. Enjoy your loved ones!
Eva -
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What did shunning do to you?
by hillary_step inthere can be little doubt that the wts 'shunning' policy is a dangerous weapon.
each year tens of thousands of people are disfellowshipped, and experience the reality of being shunned.
many of them still believing the wts doctrine that if they die in this condition they will shortly be executed by god at har-meggedon and die an eternal and disgraceful death some leaving the faith altogether.
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evita
My mother shunned me for 10 years even though I was not DA or DF'd. After that she just shunned me off and on for the next 10. The last two years were pleasant enough although the damage had been done.
The shunning was very painful as my mom and I had been very close. I was very depressed, angry, and often close to despair. I was also young and knew i had a future. The good thing that came out of it was that it forced me to create a life for myself. Then when I had my first child my depression and anger turned to a deep sadness that lasted for years.
Now that my mom has passed away I no longer have to worry about being shunned. But the sadness is still with me. And I regret all the time I spent being sad, angry, and bitter.
Eva -
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WT response to your letters?
by Smiles inhave you ever sent letters to the wt society and if so what was their response to you?.
did they send you an informative reply?.
did they send you a smug reply?.
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evita
My mother was a devoted dub for over 30 years. About 15 years ago she professed to be one of the anointed. After she died in December of last year, I found many eloquent letters that she had written to the society begging and pleading for their help. It seems as though she was being harassed in different congregations who didn't believe that she was one of the 144,000. Because some other sisters her age had also started partaking, they were all accused of being apostates and threatened with disfellowshipping.
The letters are very disturbing. My mom loved being a Jw and would have been suicidal had she been ousted. From what i can tell, the society never answered her directly. Instead they sent her letters to the elders who harrassed her even further. Eventually she found a cong. which would allow her to partake in peace.
The whole thing makes me sick to my stomach.
Eva -
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35 Yrs ago today - We rocked!
by Amazing1914 indoes this sound like the jw organization you know today?
yes, on july 17th, 1970, my wife and i were baptized as jws at the "men of good will" district assembly (convention today), at the oakland, california coliseum - where the raiders play.
nearly 70,000 attended, and over 750 were baptized ... and it all made the news in the san francisco chronicle & examiner and other newspapers and radio stations.
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evita
Interesting thread...
My mother became a dub around 1973; I was baptized the next year at the age of 14.
People in our congregation were already waxing nostalgic about how fun the assemblies used to be, the cong. picnics, the parties etc...Many spoke fondly of the old P.O. (I think his name was Everett Six) and seemed to be unhappy with the new elder arrangement.
By the time we were really in the thick of things, the R&F were feeling that 1975 would come and go with no big A in sight. They were also chafing under all the new rules and regs. Every watchtower study had a chastising tone.
I got the feeling that we had just missed the glory days. After the love-bombing was over and we were all baptized things got really depressing.
Any way you look at it, being a JW is not a great life path. But perhaps it got worse over the years?
Eva