Posts by sass_my

Mr Frass and I decided not to breed; Mr Frass gets bored with children and I think there are already too many humans. Exactly once a month my hormones make me yearn to bear a baby, but I consider that just an ancient evolutionary instinct to keep the genes passing on. I also think it's the reason people have children - we're all just animals. We might think we have control over our lives and our destiny, but we're just the biggest breeders with the smartest weapons.

Yeah I know I'm giving up one of the the biggest things in life, but that's okay, it gives us the time and space to pursue other big things. We've got about ten years to get on the adoption list if we change our minds.

54

To continue fading or stop the madness!!!

by OnTheWayOut in

jw
friends

i have this concern about fading.

my fade is calculated and very successful as far as .

avoiding a judicial committee for apostacy.

sass_my_frass

Also, if you ever have The Talk, bear in mind that a less-than-ideal-but-likely scenario is that you will both have to agree to compromise; she accepts your position and you accept hers. The way to make that work without it turning to acid would be to agree to support each other - you support her decision to go to meetings and believe whatever she wants, take the pressure off her getting-ready times, don't get in the way or be a pain when she's planning assembly attendance, don't be destructive of her faith when she wants to talk about it etc. In return, she lets you talk about the new things you're learning, have new friends and have them over, or whatever it is that you do that you didn't do as a witness.

If in the end you are both able to talk about whatever you want without fear of recrimination, it will be a compromise you'll both be able to live with.

54

To continue fading or stop the madness!!!

by OnTheWayOut in

jw
friends

i have this concern about fading.

my fade is calculated and very successful as far as .

avoiding a judicial committee for apostacy.

sass_my_frass

Hmmmmmmmm.

Are you able to stop thinking of it as a formal process that just hasn't been properly documented yet? This isn't A Big Thing. Everything from now on is just going to be about your wife and your mother. You know that you have no emotional connection to the organisation and you want to start living life with the intellectual freedom of somebody who no longer considers himself a part of it. From this point on, it's a matter of you being able to convince your wife that this is nobody elses business, and to anchor your relationship with her on something stronger than the three-cord rope.

She needs a lot of time; a LOT of time, to process this. Keep going slowly, slowly. Stop thinking about The Fade. Just start doing other stuff, and involve her. Get some new outdoors hobbies that over time will demand big changes in the way that you live your lives - start with the occasional weekend away and evening walk. Change the household duties schedule to shake her routine up. Start talking about other big plans; a career change, or house renos, or saving for a massive around the world trip. Something really big and exciting that will take a couple of years to make happen.

You have already committed to a long-term plan, but make it something positive, warm and enjoyable, and not confronting to her and maddening for you. Just live better than you are used to.

I think about you and her a lot. She seems like a top chick. You must really love her, and that means she's one in a million. Don't ever stop telling her.

48

Fading? What's up?

by arker in

i was a jw, finally saw my chance and wrote a letter to the elders saying how bad i am and how i don't want to meet to discuss it and to df me if you want.

that was the end of it for me.

my question is if you know you are "fading" you are already gone so why not make the leap?

sass_my_frass

Hi arker and welcome. It comes down to exactly what you said - some people are willing to tolerate the agony of dragging things out and never being completely straight about what they believe. Others have to make the break. I don't think it's any easier to do one or the other.

37

I Was Going To Ask...

by deborahs_song in

jw
friends

i was going to ask in the suggestion box if a forum for new posters who still believed in god and the bible could be formed here.

then it dawned on me that most probably the owner of this discussion board and most posters here would be opposed to that idea.. please, be honest.

would you rather those who believed in the bible and believed in the creator did not post here?

sass_my_frass

Welcome Deborah. No I don't think that this is only a place for atheists, but if it bothers you to read some threads, the easiest fix is just to not read those threads.

27

Is it getting better, or do you feel the same...?

by nvrgnbk in

jw
friends

sass_my_frass

Have you come here to play jesus to the lepers in your head?

... a line I used to cherish in my former life.

sass_my_frass

Posts by sass_my_frass