Topics Started by CaptainSchmideo

2
God's Phone Number: Found at Last!
by CaptainSchmideo in
1. jw
2. friends
i don't know if this has been posted yet, but it made me laugh.. to all you blokes in oz, you just knew that god's name was really bruce!.

phone number causes 'almighty' uproar.

thursday, may 29, 2003 posted: 1:39 pm edt (1739 gmt).
Wow! Downsizing is affecting everyone!
by CaptainSchmideo in
1. jw
2. friends
god quietly phasing holy ghost out of trinity .

heavencalling the holy trinity "overstaffed and over budget," god announced plans monday to downsize the group by slowly phasing out the holy ghost.

"given the poor economic climate and the unclear nature of the holy ghost's duties, i felt this was a sensible and necessary decision," god said.
13
Really Downsizing? Then Howcome....
by CaptainSchmideo in
1. jw
2. friends
.

at tonight's service meeting (u.s.), another one of those "thank you for your continued contributions (hint hint, beg beg)" letters was read.. in the text, they talked about needing funds to renovate/remodel the squibb and 107 (i think that's the right number) in an effort to bring them up to building guidelines that match the other branch facilities.

this doesn't sound like shutting down in ny and retiring to patterson, as i saw in an earlier thread.. anybody in the know want to add some insight to this?.
9
100 Greatest Australians
by CaptainSchmideo in
1. jw
2. friends
.

i cast my ballot for this very serious yahoo!

(who is playing the role of another great aussie, ned kelly!
4
Scenes from the Bible you never saw
by CaptainSchmideo in
1. jw
2. friends
4
The Caffeine Double-Standard
by CaptainSchmideo in
1. jw
2. friends
reading an earlier post about the caffeine "intervention" reminded me of this: remember lynn newton's online glossary of "theocratese"?

i remember this entry under "coffee" coffeestimulating hot black liquid, consumed in great quantity by most hard-working christians in the usa; the drug of choice for most any occasion.

one co calls it ``the elixer of life''.
3
TV Schedule Conflict, dang it!
by CaptainSchmideo in
1. jw
2. friends
this would have to happen!.

the same nite that dateline is on, tcm is having a harold lloyd film festival.

i want to tape both, but how am i going to do that!
1
Now THIS Saddens Me........
by CaptainSchmideo in
1. jw
2. friends
http://www.cnn.com/2002/showbiz/news/05/24/obit.berg.ap/index.html .

one of the great ones has died!.

dave berg, created mad's 'lighter side,' dead.
1
David and B'Sheba.The Story so far.....
by CaptainSchmideo in
1. jw
2. friends
...nathan the prophet has just confronted david with his adultery with bath-sheba, and the subsequent cover-up, which resulted in the death of uriah, her husband..... ...whereas you yourself acted in secret, i, for my part, shall do this thing in front of all israel and in the front of the sun.

david reflected for a moment, then said, i dont think so, nate ol boy.

ysee, im the freaking king, and rank has its privileges.
3
Pope and Child Abuse-TheOnion.com
by CaptainSchmideo in
1. watchtower
2. child-abuse
http://www.theonion.com/onion3819/pope_forgives.html .

vatican citycalling forgiveness "one of the highest virtues taught to us by jesus," pope john paul ii issued a papal decree monday absolving priest-molested children of all sin.. .

"though grave and terrible sins have been committed, our lord teaches us to turn the other cheek and forgive those who sin against us," said the pope, reading a prepared statement from a balcony overlooking st. peter's square.