Posts by Chia

47

Bookstudy Group Disbanded......haha

by Mary in

jw
friends

i just got word that the bookstudy attendance in one of the groups at my hall has dwindled off to numbers so pitiful that they're dissolving this particular bookstudy group and splitting up the remainder and shipping them out to other bookstudy groups.

Chia

Warning: Long story coming.

I remember when we had the book study at our house. First of all, I didn't even want it there. It was my mother's house, and she basically decided that she wanted to have a book study there, probably for some glory. I was ticked, because even though it wasn't my decision, I knew I'd have to suffer for it, and suffer I did. At the time my sister and I were pioneering and working, and my brother was working full time. My mom doesn't work, but is disabled. So we all would run around like maniacs trying to get the house tidied up in time for the book study. Also making things more complicated was the fact that my mom had to have some type of goody every night for them to eat. It frustrated me because I just wanted them to GO HOME. I remember one night they complained because my mom served cheese and crackers instead of an actual meal like she usually did. The last straw for me was when the elders called my siblings and I in for a meeting. In this meeting they told us that the brothers and sisters had complained that the house wasn't clean enough and that we had to do better to represent Jehovah. I was livid! We were the only ones volunteering our house for a meeting place, we had to put up with constant complaining (ie, "It's too hot! It's too cold! It's too loud!") and now you are telling us that the "brothers" and "sisters" are complaining more behind our backs? How about, "Can we help you with something? We realize you guys are so busy." But no, people always want to tear down and not build up. That incident helped lead me on the road where I am today.

So that's how I feel about the book study and attendance there.

25

How Do You Discern If Someone Is Telling The Truth or Lying?

by minimus in

jw
friends

what signs do you look for in determining whether someone is really telling the truth, outright lying or possibly using "theocratic strategy"??

?

Chia

One of my "friends" went to the elders and told them of my doubts. She told them I'd been talking to apostates and stuff. When that happened, the elders hauled me into the back room. The minute they opened their mouths, I knew they were lying. Here's why:

They said to me, "Well, the reason we want to talk to you is just to see how you are doing." I might've bought that if it hadn't been almost a year since I got reproved. It's a little late for that, don't you think? Then the very next thing was the clincher: "We want to restore your privileges." Liars! That was most definitely theocratic warfare. Of course they can say they want to restore my privileges...eventually. But I've been reproved almost a year, and I have been out in service exactly ONCE that whole time. My meeting attendance is pretty sporadic compared to what it used to be. When I do go to meetings, I leave immediately after. And you want to restore my privileges? Right. I knew then that my "friend" had talked to the elders.

Kinda off topic, but anyway, that's how I knew they were lying to me and they won't hesitate to do it again. I'm still trying to walk the line between not being ashamed of who I am, and not painting myself into a corner with the elders.

54

American Idol

by Mulan in

anyone watch it last night?.

i am really starting to love constantine.

he just gets better and better.. carrie is so consistent, and so good, that i think she is going to win this, but constantine is right up there too.. i also really like anthony fedorov.. i like bo, but think the judges are a little "over the top" about him.

Chia

My favorites are Constantine, Bo and Vonzell. Carrie bores me to death, although she has a lovely voice. I was also bored by Anwar. I think Anthony, adorable as he is, should be next to go.

It doesn't hurt that Bo is HOT!!!

34

how can you stay?

by zaphod in

.

speaking as someone who believed it all right up until about a year after i was df'd i just cannot understand the reasoning of people who don't go out on field service, don't go to meetings, don't participate or believe and still stay in the organisation.. i know that it is hard to leave, it's made to be hard, but some of the postings on this site make me think that it must be harder still living a lie and keeping up the pretense.. if you don't believe, why would you want to conform to all the petty rules and subject yourself to men that you don't believe have any authority.. i really do hope that as soon as possible you can all take a deep breath and finally be true to yourself.. zaphod

Chia

touched a nerve
soz

I don't know why, but when I read that, I started laughing so hard that I was shaking!

But I agree, you didn't touch a nerve with me. It's a good thought provoking thread. I agree with Listener that no way of leaving the religion is easy, that's for sure. There are pros and cons to every way of doing it. I have a friend who decided when he was 15 or 16 that it wasn't for him. He always knew it. He told the elders then and there, even though he was still a minor. They gave him time to decide. When he turned 18, they asked him again how he felt about the BOrg. He told them he still didn't want to be a part of him, and they asked him to DA himself. He did. To me, that is a very brave thing, especially at so young an age. His parents do still talk to him, he's fortunate. He's going to college and he seems very successful. I admire him.

Unfortunately, I know in my case, that won't happen. My mother will never accept the fact that I'm leaving quietly. I figure this way, maybe, we'll still be able to have some contact without that nasty "disfellowshipped/disassociated" label on me. I may not be successful, and she still may shun me if I'm inactive, but I can try. We all have our reasons.

34

how can you stay?

by zaphod in

.

speaking as someone who believed it all right up until about a year after i was df'd i just cannot understand the reasoning of people who don't go out on field service, don't go to meetings, don't participate or believe and still stay in the organisation.. i know that it is hard to leave, it's made to be hard, but some of the postings on this site make me think that it must be harder still living a lie and keeping up the pretense.. if you don't believe, why would you want to conform to all the petty rules and subject yourself to men that you don't believe have any authority.. i really do hope that as soon as possible you can all take a deep breath and finally be true to yourself.. zaphod

Chia

Ditto for me. My family, all the way. I mean, there have been times when I get so mad at my mom and sister's narrow-minded way of thinking that I say to myself, "If they're going to be like that, I don't want them in my life anyway." But that's simply not true. I don't know if I'll be successful, but I'll give it a heck of a go(not supposed to use profanity here, right?). Believe me, I am more than tired of living the lie. But we all have our reasons for doing what we do. I wish I was thick-skinned enough to DA myself. But I'm not. So this is the only way for now.

32

Apostate site?

by Shawn in

i was wondering if the jws concider this site: .

http://www.jwinfoline.com/ .

an apostate one?

Chia

The only website authorized by the Dubs is www.watchtower.org.

Anything else is considered "bad association." This was considered recently, so that's the official stance. Even if a site is considered "pro-Witness", or they talk about "spiritual" things, it's still bad because all the authorized information comes from www.watchtower.org.

Blech.

34

New Baby Pics

by Bryan in

jw
friends

heeeeeerrrr'sss... sebastien!.

he's doing great!

he finally found the nookie and is eating well.

Chia

What a beautiful little boy. You have a beautiful family. Congratulations!

31

List options for my escape here.

by tsunami_rid3r in

jw
friends

problem: .

want a normal life of going to college, freedom.

in return will get kicked out of the house.

Chia

If there's a way you can live on campus, or get a roommate somehow, and move out and go to college, that might be a good idea. If all you really want to do is go to college and have a little freedom, there is nothing wrong with that. I know this is going to sound bad but I always looked at it this way...it is my mother's house and it is her rules. Even though I am an adult, and I should be able to make my own choices, that's compromised because I live in her house. So I abide by her rules, or I try to anyway. That includes going to meetings. It's frustrating for me, but she is my mother and I do respect her. I am working towards financial independence.

What I'm saying is, as long as you live in their house, it's only right that you toe the line. But if you want to have freedom, you need to leave there. Make sure it's a well-thought out decision. There is nothing wrong with going to college. The worst they can tell you is that you aren't spiritual. You'll have to find a way to support yourself, if they really mean what they are saying. But be respectful at all times...don't let them have anything to say about you. If they continue to shun you, they will prove themselves the irrational ones, not you, the "worldly" one.

My 2 cents.

6

Moving

by Chia in

jw
friends

i am moving to another area in the same state.

i feel this move is necessary for my sanity.

my question is, does anyone have any advice for me, regarding budgeting/money matters?

Chia

Thanks for your advice! Another question (I'm on a roll here) is how much money should I have saved up before I move? Right now, I'm struggling to save money. I really don't shop very much, but it seems like these expenses just come out of nowhere that deplete my account. For instance, I had to pay $500 deductible for an accident that wasn't my fault(but the other driver's insurance only agreed to pay 80%, and that was unacceptable to me--going to arbitration). So how much should I save before I move away?

6

Moving

by Chia in

jw
friends

i am moving to another area in the same state.

i feel this move is necessary for my sanity.

my question is, does anyone have any advice for me, regarding budgeting/money matters?

Chia

I am moving to another area in the same state. I feel this move is necessary for my sanity. My question is, does anyone have any advice for me, regarding budgeting/money matters? I want this move to be as successful as possible.

Also if anyone lives in the capital region of NY, I would appreciate any advice regarding the area, jobs, living, good neighborhoods, as I am a young woman that will be living alone.

Thanks so much.