this past saturday morning, two jw's encountered a householder (a friend of my co-worker) with an interesting perspective.
his brilliant and humorous insight into the "peaceful new world" tract is below!
id just settled down with canettis brilliant novel, translated as auto-da-fe, to listen to a saturday midmorning beethoven concert, when the doorbell went off.. .
ROFLMAO!
It is pleasant to see they still have blacks and Mexican children for agricultural labor, in the new Eden!
Funny! now that i think about it...that is kind of common in their publicraptions, to have other races performing the dirty work.
but of course, in jeehoovers wundiferus world...nothing will be work....it'll all be fun fun fun!!!
luv, jojo
i thought of this question as i've been talking to different family members about the situation with my parents and grandmother.
i wondered if they'd get upset by me telling other non-jw family members what was going on.
i recently told a family member in coventry who i'm sure will end up telling my grandmother's sisters.
i don't have to explain. my mom's side (i don't deal w/ my dad's side too much) already knows how my dub family is treating me and they are very disgusted w/ it. especially my mom's 2 sisters. one of them won't even speak to her now.
luv, jojo
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http://www.fadetoblack.com/cultkit/
plug in your requirements and this kit will provide the scriptural backing
WE HAVE NEW LIGHT!!! CHANGES MUST BE MADE!
| Religion Name: Atheists for Jesus | ||
| POLYGAMY | Judges 8-30 | And Gideon had threescore and ten sons of his body begotten- for he had many wives. |
| ANTI-SEMITISM | John 5-18 | On this account then the Jews were all the more eager to put Him to death--because He not only broke the Sabbath, but also spoke of God as being in a special sense His Father, thus putting Himself on a level with God. |
| ANTI-SEMITISM | John 6-41 | Now the Jews began to find fault about Him because of His claiming to be the bread which came down out of Heaven. |
| ANTI-SEMITISM | John 7-1 | After this Jesus moved from place to place in Galilee. He would not go about in Judaea, because the Jews were seeking an opportunity to kill Him. |
| EXHIBITIONISM | Genesis 2-25 | And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. |
| EXHIBITIONISM | Isaiah 20-2 | At the same time spake the LORD by Isaiah the son of Amoz, saying, Go and loose the sackcloth from off thy loins, and put off thy shoe from thy foot. And he did so, walking naked and barefoot. |
| EXHIBITIONISM | Isaiah 20-3 | And the LORD said, Like as my servant Isaiah hath walked naked and barefoot three years [for] a sign and wonder upon Egypt and upon Ethiopia |
| EXHIBITIONISM | John 21-7 | Therefore that disciple whom Jesus loved saith unto Peter, It is the Lord. Now when Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he girt [his] fisher's coat [unto him], (for he was naked,) and did cast himself into the sea. |
| MESSIAH | O.J. Simpson | The following scriptures support that O.J. Simpson is the resuracted Christ in human form walking among us. |
| MESSIAH | O.J. Simpson | OJ Simpson was widely hated among large portion of the population. The Bible talk that Holy One will be despised by his people. |
| MESSIAH | O.J. Simpson | Isaiah 53-3 He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief- and we hid as it were [our] faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not. |
| MESSIAH | O.J. Simpson | Psalm 22-6 But I [am] a worm, and no man; a reproach of men, and despised of the people. |
| MESSIAH | O.J. Simpson | Psalm 109-25 I became also a reproach unto them- [when] they looked upon me they shaked their heads. |
| MESSIAH | O.J. Simpson | Psalm 22-7 All they that see me laugh me to scorn- they shoot out the lip, they shake the head. |
| MESSIAH | O.J. Simpson | OJ Simpson had a cut on his hand, as well as having blood on his socks, filling the prophesy in Psalm 22-16 For dogs have compassed me- the assembly of the wicked have inclosed me- they pierced my hands and my feet. |
| MESSIAH | O.J. Simpson | The L.A. PD took in a lot of O.J. Simpson's clothing for investigation. |
| MESSIAH | O.J. Simpson | Psalm 22-18 They part my garments among them, and cast lots upon my vesture. |
| MESSIAH | O.J. Simpson | O.J. Simpson was not convicted nor was any bone in his body broken filling the prophecy of Psalm 22-17 I may tell all my bones- they look [and] stare upon me. |
| MESSIAH | O.J. Simpson | Exodus 12-46 In one house shall it be eaten; thou shalt not carry forth ought of the flesh abroad out of the house; neither shall ye break a bone thereof. |
| MESSIAH | O.J. Simpson | Psalm 34-20 He keepeth all his bones- not one of them is broken. |
| MESSIAH | O.J. Simpson | Numerous false witnesses were brought against O.J. Simpson during the trial filling the prophecy of Psalm 31-11 I was a reproach among all mine enemies, but especially among my neighbours, and a fear to mine acquaintance- they that did see me without fled from me. |
| MESSIAH | O.J. Simpson | After the trial majority of OJ Simpsons friends abandoned him filling the prophecy of Psalm 38-11 My lovers and my friends stand aloof from my sore; and my kinsmen stand afar off. |
| MESSIAH | O.J. Simpson | Kato Kaelin as well as Rosa Lopez and other friends of OJ testified against him fufilling the prophecy of Psalm 41-9 Yea, mine own familiar friend, in whom I trusted, which did eat of my bread, hath lifted up [his] heel against me. |
| MESSIAH | O.J. Simpson | During the trial OJ Simpson did not testify also filling the prohecy of Isaiah 53-7 He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth- he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he openeth not his mouth. |
| MESSIAH | O.J. Simpson | OJ Simpson's inocents was portrayed on the video tape he put out, which was priced at $30 ($29.95) This fullfilled the prophecy of Zechariah 11-12 And I said unto them, If ye think good, give [me] my price; and if not, forbear. So they weighed for my price thirty [pieces] of silver. |
| MESSIAH | O.J. Simpson | It is also stated in Revelation 1-14 that the Messiah will be of African decent. "His head and [his] hairs [were] ... like wool". |
| ANTI-CHRIST | Dali Lama | Dali Lama was born on 06/06/1935. If one adds up all the digits in the year of Dali Lama's birth (1935) 1+9+3+5 one comes up with 18. If one takes the number of the beast (666) and adds up all the digits one also comes up with 18. As well as 6th day of the 6th month. |
You may find that people may take offense to your beliefs, so here are a few scriptures that you can quote to support your faith, and criticize their lack of understanding.
Mark 16:15 'They may look and look but not see, and listen and listen but not understand, lest perchance they should return and be pardoned.'Luke 2:50 But they did not understand the significance of these words.
Acts 7:25 He supposed his brethren to be aware that by him God was sending them deliverance; this, however, they did not understand.
In Mark 16:15 The Bible talks about spreading your belief with others "Go the whole world over, and proclaim the Good News to all mankind. "So if you think you have a Biblical Scripture that can support some strange practice let us know so we can add it to the Cult Construction Set.
Feel free to print out this screen for reference, as well as making pamphlets to hand out to people.
Good luck and may the Lord be with you.
some of you have asked me where the name "tall penguin" comes from.
well, i came across a book called "animal attraction" about 5 years ago.
it is a personality test which pegs you as a particular animal.
You are either a Otter or a Cottontail personality.
But you may also be a Snake personality
i like being an otter or cottontail...they're cuddly.
snakes are cool too.
luv, jojo
.
http://www.fadetoblack.com/cultkit/
plug in your requirements and this kit will provide the scriptural backing
Below are the Biblical Scriptures that will help support your new religion.
| Religion Name: Atheists for Jesus | ||
| SLAM DANCING | 2 Samuel 6-14 | And David danced before the LORD with all [his] might; and David [was] girded with a linen ephod. |
| JUSTIFIABLE MURDER DUE TO ADULTERY | Leviticus 20-10 | And the man that committeth adultery with [another] man's wife, [even he] that committeth adultery with his neighbour's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.- |
| NYMPHOMANIA | Genesis 1-22 | And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth. |
| NYMPHOMANIA | Genesis 9-1 | And God blessed Noah and his sons, and said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth. |
| NYMPHOMANIA | Genesis 28-3 | And God Almighty bless thee, and make thee fruitful, and multiply thee, that thou mayest be a multitude of people. |
| MESSIAH | Johnny Winter | It is writen in Revelation 1-14 His head and [his] hairs [were] white like wool, as white as snow; and his eyes [were] as a flame of fire |
| ANTI-CHRIST | not among us | The Dark One is not yet among us. |
You may find that people may take offense to your beliefs, so here are a few scriptures that you can quote to support your faith, and criticize their lack of understanding.
Mark 16:15 'They may look and look but not see, and listen and listen but not understand, lest perchance they should return and be pardoned.'In Mark 16:15 The Bible talks about spreading your belief with others "Go the whole world over, and proclaim the Good News to all mankind. "So if you think you have a Biblical Scripture that can support some strange practice let us know so we can add it to the Cult Construction Set.Luke 2:50 But they did not understand the significance of these words.
Acts 7:25 He supposed his brethren to be aware that by him God was sending them deliverance; this, however, they did not understand.
Feel free to print out this screen for reference, as well as making pamphlets to hand out to people.
Good luck and may the Lord be with you.
yay!!!! now i'm tax free!
luv, jojo
**beep! beep!** BRAAAAAAAWWWW-BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWW!!!
''C'MON MAN! MY TURN NOW!
luv, jojo
i would have posted this in jokes & humour if they weren't actual awards.. things that make you say what the hell were they thinking?
sometimes these are so outrageous they are hard to believe.
enjoy..... .
BWAAAAAAAAAAHHHH-HA-HA-HAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
oh crap! that's priceless!
i love the one about the kid stealing the hubcaps.
luv, jojo
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an elder in our hall used to drink his wine before evening meetings regularly, and on more than a few occasions was "buzzed" and laughing up on the platform while giving a talk.
yep.
first time was accidental. i was getting ready to leave work and one of my co-worker's asked if i wanted to ride around w/ her and her boyfriend and smoke a joint. i had smoked her stuff b4 and it was kinda weak, so i said, ''why not?''
oh
my
god
we got soooooooo high it wasn't funny. i was so disoriented by the time they dropped me back at my car, i wasn't sure if i'd make it home. i did. and some how i got ready for and made it to the meeting w/out getting caught. for some reason, everything that was mentioned from the platform that night made perfect sense.
second time wasn't too eventful. i just popped 3 xanax on the way to the convention. i just wandered around like a zombie and slept.
luv, jojo
its getting to that time of year again, so who wants to do another secret santa?
it worked out brilliantly last year and the year before.
if any one wants to join in let me know by either posting in this thread(to help keep it bttt so people can see it, lol), or pm'ing me or emailing me at [email protected]
count me in!!!!
luv, jojo
fluff alert: find out which marvel superhero you are!!!.
apparently, i am dr. strange !!!!!
please report back....... http://www.liquidgeneration.com/quiz/superhero_quiz.swf.
It says i'm a ladies man
luv, jojo
