It wasn't the big stuff that made me decide I could never go back, it was one little thing. I have been thinking about my journey out of "the truth", and I think I can pin-point the last straw.
I had been out for years, but always thinking that if I got my head together someday I would be good enough to go back. In the meantime I went to college, an all women college. Sure, the education should have been enough, but while there I worked in the AV/media department. I was setting up PA systems for huge events, hooking up computers, I even soldered mic connections in the wall.
Then I accepted an invitation from my parents to attend a meeting, and I noticed that only men (boys really) were allowed to control the microphones. Being raised JW, I should have already known about this, but I had never paid any attention. I asked my parents and learned that this was a way that young JW men could work up the ladder. I knew at that moment that this was a religion that I could never live with, simply because they wouldn't let me set up the microphones.
In the bigger picture, I know microphones are silly, and Freud would have some opinions about the whole thing.
Anyone else with examples of being "stumbled" by the little things?
Posts by ivy
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41microphones were the last straw
by ivy init wasn't the big stuff that made me decide i could never go back, it was one little thing.
i have been thinking about my journey out of "the truth", and i think i can pin-point the last straw.. .
i had been out for years, but always thinking that if i got my head together someday i would be good enough to go back.
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ivy
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27
What's the last good fantasy or scifi book that you could'nt put down?
by Leander inso what's the last fantasy/scifi book that you read that was just so good you could'nt put it down until you were done reading it?
i need a few recommendations, i'm in the mood for a good book.. for me the last really good scifi book was orson scott card's "ender's game".
for a long time i avoided this book because i thought it was aimed at a younger audience, but after hearing so many people praise it i finally took a chance on it.
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ivy
Thanks for the suggestions Leander. I'm always looking for good scifi and/or fantasy authors. I will check out the Song of Fire and Ice series
I loved the "His Dark Materials" trilogy by Philip Pullman. Don't pass that one up because it is aimed at a younger audience. -
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ivy
My son was pretty much raised in the 'truth', despite the fact that I had turned my back on it. (I know...how could I do that to him? There is a story there, but let's just say I thought I was doing the right thing at the time). There was a year or two there around the age of 8 and 9 that he was overly zealous. He turned 16 today. We talk about it a lot. I am amazed at how much healthier his outlook is then mine. He simply says he doesn't believe they have it right, he's not really sure what is right, but the whole JW thing doesn't feel right to him. I don't see any scarring.
I do think that having some strong influences that did not buy in was helpful. I wouldn't consider him to be overly skeptical. But he was attending meetings with his JW grandparents, and going home to his two moms. I have to believe that when he compared the two styles of leadership, he preferred the one that encouraged him to think for himself and make decisions based on his own observations rather then dictated by an invisible god through autocratic elders.
So maybe that is a piece of it. I wasn't really encouraged to think for myself. Everything was fed to me, and questioning was discouraged. Perhaps, somewhere along the way, questioning opens up the world of possibilities. -
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Weird Logic
by loosie inlet's hear the weirdest comment or suppossed logical thought you've ever heard a witness say.. i'll start: out in service once a sis and her son were in the same car group as i was.
he was having a nose bleed and told his mom that the blood was running down the back of his throat.
his mother said " well don't swallow it yo uknow how jehovah feels about blood don't you!".
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ivy
What a great topic. I could post for hours...
I'll limit it to two.
Father: "The Bible has been around for so long, and endured though many attempts at distruction, it must be the word of god"
Me: "Well, if I were god, I would have done all that, and still come through with a book that was easy to understand an not open to so many interpretations."
Brother: "If homosexuality was an accepted form of sexuality, we would see it in nature."
Me: "I don't see many animals driving BMW's, taking out mortgages or having vasectomies, but that hasn't stopped you." -
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WHO IS YOU?
by Terry inthe mind is what the brain does; not who you are.
the soul is an idea that would seem to have testable consequences.
specifically, if the human mind is the product of a "ghost in the machine" and not simply the result of electrochemical interactions, then the mind should not be dependent on the physical actions of the brain that houses it.
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ivy
Terry, I'm no amazing intellect, but your posts always push me to try harder. I thank you for that.
There have been plenty of studies on this particular subject. Yes, one brain injury can wipe out years of nurture. It can make you a different person. The brain is our central processing unit. I really like the comparison to an operating system.identity, personality and behavior...are unified with the brain
I agree with that, but it does scare me. Will too much study into those realms lead us to "Stepford"? I'm pretty happy with my identity, personality and behavior as it is.
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DA and DF
by ivy init has been a long time since i checked up on the practices of the jw's, and through this discussion i keep hearing posts on da letters.. i was da in an announcement at a meeting back in 1988 or 1989. it was basically the same as being df, but i hadn't been baptized.
a few months later the borg came out and said that it couldn't be done to someone who wasn't baptized.
so they discussed the change, and then at the end of the meeting said, the matter with ..... has been delt with.. suddenly, everyone was talking to me again, they even wanted to plan a baby shower.. what is the policy now?
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ivy
It has been a long time since I checked up on the practices of the JW's, and through this discussion I keep hearing posts on DA letters.
I was DA in an announcement at a meeting back in 1988 or 1989. It was basically the same as being DF, but I hadn't been baptized. A few months later the borg came out and said that it couldn't be done to someone who wasn't baptized. So they discussed the change, and then at the end of the meeting said, The matter with ..... has been delt with.
Suddenly, everyone was talking to me again, they even wanted to plan a baby shower.
What is the policy now? -
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What stupid things did you confess to the elders?
by sweet tee ini forced my husband to confess to the elders that we were having os!
damn that was stupid ... he was great at it .
i also made him tell the brothers that he changed a number on our temporary license tag (don't laugh!
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ivy
By the time my parents dragged me in front of the elders, I was so guilty of so many things that the poor men would have gone into shock had I actually had any inclination to spill my guts.
Instead, at a very young age of 17, I told them that I was a citizen of the United States and I take the 5th. When they asked me what that meant, I said, "It means that I don't have to tell you or anyone else about anything. You have no power over me". -
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Can it be true?
by WA Boy ini had to stop crying so i could write this and if you saw me you wouldn't think i would be the type to cry!
i am a 35 year old man from western australia....i should be tough....or so they say.
i have never posted anything before so excuse my fractured writing.
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ivy
WA boy, welcome to the forum. I completely understand what you have said here. I also started a new life, moved on, and still had the lingering issues come up, telling me that whatever harm had been done wasn't completely healed. I haven't been on the forum long, but it has been such a relief to have people to talk to who have a first hand understanding of what it is like.
It is good to have a support network. My husband is also "brilliant with support" (love that phrase) and I am grateful for that, but being able to talk to others who have also been there is such a relief. Welcome, welcome, and find comfort. -
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GIVE AN EXAMPLE of the best writing you've ever read
by Terry inis there one line of prose or poetry that stopped you dead in your tracks and haunted your mind for days on end?
is there a line, a paragraph or a book that feeds your soul and there is no end to its craving?
share it with all of us.
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ivy
I don't think this "feeds my soul" or anything, but it did stick with me...
Those who restrain their desires, do so because theirs is weak enough to be restrained.
William Blake -
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Living with Soundness of Mind in an Electronic Age - KM Part this week
by ezekiel3 inlooks like it is time to remind the flock that jwd is deathdealing.
this week service meetings are recycling old kingdom ministry articles regarding the danger of electronic communication such as the internet and email.. .
like i heard at a recent circuit assembly, "don't let your mouse turn you into a rat!".
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ivy
Wow, I have been out for so long, and really not reading or keeping up with anything that they were doing lately. I had no idea. I guess I could have guessed, if I had thought about it. If I had stuck in there, would I actually have bought that? Because it sounded like the worst kind of control propaganda I have read in...well... I think it's been about 12 years.
I had to take a break when I got to the part about the copyright thing, and just go and vent to my husband. (only he's an author and web designer, so he didn't really get it) What are they going to do? Take one of their own most zealous dubs to court for spreading their own literature around?
Thank you, thank you, thank you ezekiel3 for taking the time to post this.