Hey,Avashi, I didn't mean it the way you took it! Or the way it might have sounded to anyone else.
All I meant was this seemed to be how she chose to deal with the problems in her marriage.Maybe she did need to validate her attractiveness in a time of distress. No one but she herself can say what "feelings" motivated her. People have affairs for numerous reasons,...revenge, excitement, callous indifference to their mate, moment of weakness, or simple lust, even despair. And the ones you suggested. All I meant was that she CHOSE to have this affair. Now RDW has a choice to make himself and he's already told us he plans to leave her.
zulukai
JoinedPosts by zulukai
-
37
Confrontation times 2, My lovely weekend ahead. Any thoughts .......
by run dont walk inwell, my life is about to change over the next week, the anxiety is running high, and the adrenaline is going full blast, i hope i make it .... just a reminder of what has happened ... last summer my wife went to ontario and stayed with her sister, at the time me and her were not doing to well, and while she was there she screwed around on me, and her sister laughed about it.
it's been 11 months, i've did the counselling, and i've tried to forgive her, but i'll tell you all something ...... "it just eats at you everyday, no matter how hard you try.".
so i arrive on saturday, and day 1 will be taking care of this guy, i just hope i don't k--l him and spend the rest of my life in jail.
-
-
zulukai
-
37
Confrontation times 2, My lovely weekend ahead. Any thoughts .......
by run dont walk inwell, my life is about to change over the next week, the anxiety is running high, and the adrenaline is going full blast, i hope i make it .... just a reminder of what has happened ... last summer my wife went to ontario and stayed with her sister, at the time me and her were not doing to well, and while she was there she screwed around on me, and her sister laughed about it.
it's been 11 months, i've did the counselling, and i've tried to forgive her, but i'll tell you all something ...... "it just eats at you everyday, no matter how hard you try.".
so i arrive on saturday, and day 1 will be taking care of this guy, i just hope i don't k--l him and spend the rest of my life in jail.
-
-
zulukai
RDW......ARE YOU NUTS??!! No woman (or man for that matter) is worth the consequences that may evolve from open confrontation. And for what it's worth, we women DO understand the compulsion behind confronting the person who got naked with your spouse. Adultery is an ugly thing to have happen to anyone, but it sounds like your marriage was in trouble anyway and your wife chose to deal with her feelings by having an affair.
This is your cue to get a lawyer not go and see "the man". Why add to the drama and possible entertainment value for your sister-in-law by acting like a caveman? You could be seriously hurt, in far worse ways than you are already. Please reconsider! -
77
I LOST IT ... my JW rant today
by talesin inwell, i just couldn't hold it in anymore.. today, i exploded, talking to my mother about the family inheritance and how i am being screwed.. i told her i had been so angry lately, and just had to tell her what i was thinking, because the anger was slipping out at times, and i was making snide anti-jw comments .... which is not my way.
i'm usually quite direct.. i told her that i couldn't take being treated like a piece of dog you-know-what on the bottom of someone's shoe any longer.. that in the past couple of years, i had learned so much filth about the jws that i was getting more and more disgusted day by day.. i started shouting ... there is nothing wrong with me!!!
why do i have to be shunned when they hide child molesters???.
-
-
zulukai
Tal, I was so moved by your story I was stunned, trying to think of a reply. So many things rushed to mind. I was never molested but I knew something was very wrong with quite a few of the dubs I knew and "filthy" just about says it all.
For years I repressed rage and outrage until the day came when I saw the whole dirty scam for what it was.
We were made into victims by that sick religion. A victim is supposed to take the blame and keep quiet about the crap that goes down. And don't you just love it when they drone: Jehovah KNOWS. Like that says everything.
It's good to see that you have taken the step of voicing your pent-up rage!. I remember when I lashed out in rage for the first time in my life and told my mother what I thought of the whole ugly business. It was like watching someone in a movie...I could not believe I was talking like this..ME the good girl, the obedient daughter, just like yourself. Horrible feelings burst into words but after it was over I knew I was right and what's more I would never let anyone push me around again. Not my family, not my so called robotic friends who came by to warn me not to leave the religion, none of them, not ever again.
The only thing they fear is us being clear and vocal about the shite they are hiding. As soon as you start to expose the truth about their dirty little secrets they scuttle away like cockroaches run from the light.
I can SO relate to your frustration and pain. I hope you know many here are totally with you in this.
(((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))) -
49
What funny "Saying" do you sometimes use?
by JH inhere in quebec, one funny expression people say is "donne a manger a un cochon, et il viendra chier sur ton perron" .
word for word in english this would mean: feed a pig, and he will shit on your porch.
in other words, sometimes you try to be nice to people, and they don't always try to be nice to you in return.. .
-
-
zulukai
Dummer'n a sack of hammers.
Shit on a stick!
Do chickens have lips? -
28
How many have survived COC ?
by vitty ini am desperate to get the book coc into the hands of my daughter and her husband, just trying to find a way.. it got me thinking i wonder how many active jws could read that book and still stay in the org ?.
it had such an impact on my life and others i know.
i had never even heard of such a book.
-
-
zulukai
I had been out about 13 years when I found a book by the Bottings, a former jw couple, called "The Orwellian World of Jehovah's Witnesses". My experience of how I read that book may shed some light on why jw's can read COC and still remain a staunch believer.
I believe a lot of us who were really, really convinced that the religion was the truth took to the brainwash more readily than others. Parts of our minds were put to sleep in regard to hearing any and all criticisms of the org., even I might add, after we left. I read that book and my mind just would not "see" certain arguments. It was like a fog was in my head screening out facts. I still knew I never wanted to go back and the whole thing was a scam, but I couldn't assimilate certain information.
When I re-read 'The Orwellian World' a couple of years ago I was shocked to discover all kinds of information in there that I MUST have tuned out. I re-read another one about the troubles that went dowm in the province of Alberta, Canada and sure enough' SAME thing. I was really troubled over this because it showed me that even though I am an intelligent, thinking individual I had been PROGRAMMED to reject any evidence that the org. was anything but the most wonderful religion on earth. And I was a victim of their hypocracy to boot!!! Go figure.
I immediately got a copy of COC and understood every last thing in there! No more filters, no more fog in the head. This proved to me that some witnesses can and do block out information that does not agree with the cleverly implanted program. The thing that broke the very last little bit of the "spell" for me was picking up a newspaper and reading about the pedophile scandal and the coverups. The wealth of information I have accessed on this site has been the final vindication of the nagging suspicions and feeling of outrage I carried around for years.
SOMETHING has to happen before some witness people can read and understand anything about that cult. -
11
DNR - any experiences?
by talesin inafter reading another thread, i got thinking.
there is something i would like to talk to a lawyer about, but for now, i am interested to know if anyone has any personal / work-related experiences with do not resuscitate orders (dnrs)?.
if you work in a hospital, how effective is one?
-
-
zulukai
I'm a nurse in British Columbia, Canada. In all my years of work in different hospitals I have dealt with the DNR issue many times. I have never cared for a comatose patient who was denied patient care. By this I mean that the dying DNR patient was always washed, turned and diapered. We changed their linen, gowns and gave them mouth care. All that was withheld was resusitation as per signed agreement in accord with the patient's wishes.
In a few shocking cases I have seen a long lost relative come barging into a patient's room and start threatening law suits and other unpleasant consequences if resusitation is denied even if the patient had made their DNR wishes known in writing well beforehand. I've seen a couple of people denied the dignity of a peaceful death by a relative they hadn't seen for decades..a sister, brother or even an adult child who didn't bother to keep in touch until the end was imminent. And their guilt was usually the driving force behind their demands.
I hope the "living will" option has made scenes like this a thing of the past. I now work in Pediatrics and the DNR orders are reserved for only the severest of medical conditions where there's an underlying genetic anomaly ultimately incompatible with life ie: being born without brain tissue (anacephalic) etc. Or inoperable cancer etc.
When my mother was dying we couldn't bear the thought of depriving her of fluids and kept an IV running at 50cc's an hour until she passed away.This was considered more of a "comfort measure". But when you talk of keeping feeding tubes and IV's running at sustinence levels you are also talking about prolonging the dying process for weeks or months and as a nurse I can tell you that this has ti be one of the most excrutiating ways to die...by degrees.
To suffer like this then to be pounded and shocked during well meant efforts to keep one going, well it's barbaric to say the least. -
19
Bowen Speaks Out About Berry Case
by ezekiel3 inhttp://www.pressbox.co.uk/detailed/society/jehovah_witnesses_child_abuse_scandal_in_the_news_32952.html
jehovah witnesses child abuse scandal in the news
added: (thu jul 28 2005) .
-
-
zulukai
About a year ago I picked up an Albuqueque, NM newspaper and came across an article about sexual child abuse within the JW religion....and I nearly fell over with shock and elation. At LAST I said, the wedge into the cult that would surely bring it down. Guess I had a lot to learn. Something so fundamentally repugnant as child abuse in any form and here the courts of the land fail two shattered girls?! AND a self- righteous cult upholds the molester!?
Could it be any more evident that this religion is a cesspool of injustice and moral depravity? -
70
Who all here was personally helped by JWD
by Ticker ini was and i am ever thankful to this board and all the wonderful members on it that have contributed to my freedom.
thankyou all so much and i think i might be becoming a jwd addict.
i love this board it is so helpful.
-
-
zulukai
Great insights CYP!! It's been a long time out for me, but I NEVER realized until I started reading the posts on a couple of forums, including this one most of all, that I had carried around this tight, nasty little ball of rage for decades and couldn't articulate it. In a few short months I have come a long, long way. All of a sudden I felt the burden of all these repressed and buried feelings just let go and I am free of the whole thing.
To read of the outrage of others over the betrayal of friends, the wrong doctrines and the smug arrogance of the jw's in how they shun and destroy families was the biggest validation for me. I knew my story was not unique and I was not the only one with dark suspicions about this sinister religion but I had NO ONE to share my insights with. All I knew is that everytime I was around witnesses I clenched up with rage to the point that even the company of my brother and his family was unbearable. Seeing the proof that it's a cult has softened my intolerence quite a bit.
I too have seen the obtuse inability of jw,s to process facts and information that disagrees with their cult doctrines. It's as if you are asking them to explain the theory of relativity in Urdu to get them to reason. But it bothers me a whole lot less than before.
Now I am at peace with the whole thing thanks to all of you here on JWD. I owe the people on this forum a debt of gratitude for all the research information that helped me sort out the tangle of suspicions and other insights I had come to on my own but never had validated. It's been an intense few months! -
23
Are you a fixer?
by jeanniebeanz inare you a fixer or a buyer?.
when i was a little kid, i mean from about four-years-old, i was fascinated with what made things tick.
mom knew better than to leave me alone without something really interesting to figure out.
-
-
zulukai
I LOVE fixing stuff! Have rejuvenated a lot of old furniture, rewired lamps and sanded walls. I'm typing right now on a huge old East Indian table I found in the bargain section of a funky import store. It was given up for dead and I brought it home, scrubbed it clean and tarted it up in some faded colours that matched it's origional paint. Now I have a stunning ethnic "antique" that everyone envies.
I grew up in a household where the saying " make it do, or do without" was a way of life. For me now it's more of a creative outlet than necessity. I call my rescued treasures "lame ducks" and people are always asking me where I got such unique things. Lots of elbow grease and imagination I tell them! -
34
Whyamihere survives surgery!
by HadEnuf into all it may consume...i mean concern...my poor little brookiepooh had to have surgery on her leg today to remove a blockage in one of her major arteries.
it was a very long surgery but she was able to hobble home this afternoon (well...austin gave her a ride home but she had to hobble into the house).
so she isn't feeling too chipper and thought it would be nice for you all to stop by and wish her well and a speedy recovery.
-
-
zulukai
Brooke..so sorry to hear about your leg problem! This is no small matter and I hope you get well soon!!
((((((HUGS)))))