Over the years, this first story I'm going to relate has been posted somewhat inaccurately on the Internet and some people think it's just an urban legend, but the event actually took place in the congregation we attended in Brooklyn when we were in Bethel. (I don't know but maybe a similar experience has happened in another Kingdom Hall.) I've often wanted to post this one on JWN, but never took the time until today.
My husband, Joe, and I were sitting down front in the KH in the third row during a Service Meeting. Joe was sitting in an isle seat right behind a very huge woman who we knew to be quite nervous because she was going to give an experience. This lady was so well-endowed that she couldn't see the toes on her feet even if her feet were super-sized jumbo! I could see her clearly from where I was sitting when she tried to wiggle out of her arm-chair to go to the platform. As she leaned forward to get out of the chair, a broach she was wearing caught on the short wig of the sister sitting in front of her. Being so intent on the experience she was about to give, and concentrating on getting herself out of the chair, she didn't know that a wig was hanging off of the large broach that was pinned to her large bosom as she turned toward the isle to make her way to the platform; nor did she hear the gasp the then wigless and shocked sister sitting in front of her made when her wig came off of her head and as she quickly put her hands over her pressed down and matted hair not knowing what else to do.
All this took place within seconds and the few off us who saw what had happened sat there in amazement as our ponderous "sister" walked to the stage and up the two steps to the platform, all the time never noticing the short wig hanging off of her bosom. I poked Joe in the ribs and whispered to him what had just transpired because he couldn't see the "wig event" being she had her back to him when she leaned over. Most of the audience only saw her back as she walked slowly to the platform and up the stairs. However, when she got to an arm-chair and turned to try to wiggle into the chair where she was to wait until she was asked to speak, she looked down, and it was then that she saw what she thought was an animal attached to her bosom. She let out a few short screams as she feverishly tried to brush the hairy thing off of her chest. It took some seconds for the audience to realize what was going on but when they did, no one knew what to do. Finally, the MS overseer bounded up the stairs of the platform and quickly retrieved the wig off of the floor and gave it back to its owner in the audience. Then the very big woman began to laugh and everyone in the audience laughed until we all cried. After a few minutes, when we got ourselves under control, she gave a very brief experience, and grinning, she walked back to her seat. To this day, I have no recollection of what she said and I can still picture the whole event happening as it left an indelible imprint in my brain.
Another experience: One time at a Brooklyn circuit assembly, the very, very prissy wife of a very self-important man in the Service Dept., a former district overseer, went to the Ladies Room. (She was sitting down in front in the auditorium and we were sitting in the back by an isle.) This woman was tall and slender and walked erectly exhibiting a kind of gracious air as she slowly walked up the isle. Well, since from where we were sitting we had a good view of her returning back to her seat after a few minutes, we saw the toilet paper. She didn't know she had gum on her shoe that stuck to toilet paper that trailed all the way back to the Lobby of the auditorium. Apparently, the toilet paper came off of a roll and kept unraveling until at a certain point it broke off. She never knew about the paper until an attendant went to where she was sitting and told her husband. Mind you, he told her husband, not her inasmuch as only a very mature spiritual man can handle such a problem, right? Well, the very important husband leaned over and saw the toilet paper stuck to his wife's shoe and told her. Her reaction was exactly as we knew it would be -- complete horror and mortification as the kids sitting in seats by the isle were snickering. She turned red and quickly left holding her hand over her mouth as the attendant gathered up the trail of paper. Many of us laughed quietly when we saw what was attached to her shoe knowing what her reaction would be like. What was running through our minds was, "Of all people to have this happen to!" Anyway, she never came back to her seat and no one we knew ever mentioned the toilet paper incident to her or her husband although after that assembly session was over, the younger Bethelites, plus us, who saw it all, laughed and laughed. If this had happened to anybody else but her, it wouldn't have been all that funny, but to have it happen to this uppity woman, it was kind of like, poetic justice, if you know what I mean.
