My dad was physically around when I was a child but he was absent in all other respects, except to abuse us kids.
He was an enigma right up to his recent death at 94 yrs. Only the good die young eh?
I learned my parenting skills from watching OTHER families and have done a great job. My children love me in such a healthy way.
I forgave my father many yrs ago but could never forget. That's why I cut him from my children's lives. He was too toxic/dangerous.