So no tongue lashing here from me either. Their actions, responses, and what was said, was wrong. Not just because of what was said and done, but the motivation behind it. It seems to me they did it, not to benifit him, but to hurt you.
There was probably no intent to hurt you at all. In fact there was most likely absolutely no thought of you whatsoever when he made the comment.
They want your child to feel like the congregation is his family, and that is the really insidious part.