LongHairGal - I hear ya loud and clear. A couple of very, good, people, JWs used to laugh at me when I assumed the people were honest and trying desperately to be in god's favor/bla/bla -- I saw through the con artists' crazy but didn't want to see it - initially! It was always funny when these good-people JWs were dealing with the same thing and the line was always, 'JWs aren't perfect but at least they're trying, right'! Oh my - it's endless.
I could have written a book after 6 mos! It's very hard on one's physical/mental health trying to rationalize the evil and the stage productions at the hall. It's show business for many of them - they're not good actors! A family member of mine recalls my saying moons before I was ever serious about it the meetings were nothing but sales meetings - it's true.