Posts by jwfacts

18

Did I do wrong on skeeping the "fading" stage?

by flag in

up to last month i was a witness in "good" standing in the cong.

i was not from the elite circle but everybody respects me and a lot of people go to me for advice or comfort when they feel left out by "holy ones".

so, i don't know if i made a mistake by cutting all jw activities at once because now i think i'm the topic of the conversation and phone calls already started to come this past weekend.

jwfacts

When you learn it is all wrong there is this burning desire to tell everyone. You have to decide whether it is worth it or not.
It will make you feel much better to tell your best friend that you know too much about the WTS for there to ever be the slightest chance of coming back. However there is a good chance she will be very offended and cease all association with you and even dob you in. But whatever you do that is what is likely to happen, and if she is a good friend she may even want to know more (though highly unlikely).

18

Elder Horror Stories

by Saoirse in

ozzie suggested we get all these stories together so i started a new thread.

post yours here!.

i have a friend that hasn't been to a meeting in over a year.

jwfacts

Welcome HockeyMullet and Rhyannon,
Hockey, it is great to see you and your mother both doing it togther.

When the elders came to shephard me about a year ago I said I could not believe it was fair that Jehovah would kill 6 billion worldly people. The little 30 year old bethel bachelor told me that every worldly person deserved it as they all had hearts just like "German Nazi's". Rather than encourage me that made me want to become just like a German Nazi towards him.
Several months later the same too elders arrived at my door at 10pm in the dark unannounced, and in front of visitors said "We are here to advise you to attend a judicial committee on Saturday on charges of apostasy".

Getting d/f was worth it just so as not to deal with such arrogant fools ever again.

8

disassociation and family

by davidsf in

it's been a while since i posted and asked this question so i wanted to ask again in case there's been any "new light" on the matter.

i da'ed myself a year ago.

if i invite jw family members over for dinner can they attend?

jwfacts

Family are to treat you as the rest of the congregation do. It is only for 'necessary family situations' that they are to associate with you, such as at a funeral.

Many JW's associate with d/f and d/a friends and family. I always knew d/fing was an evil practice and even when in bethel I used to keep in touch by phone with all my d/f friends.

How families apply the rules vary. Some will associate with family members, some will not. The main thing is to be discreet so no one finds out. It is worth testing your own family out by inviting them.

One of my family members said they would shun me after i got d/f. I emailed to say that I was sad that i would not see her child grow, and that she would not see my baby when it is born. Boy did she change her tune. She rang my wife saying she will allow me to see her child from time to time.

27

I think I've finally had it! (long)

by lynnmelo in

jw
friends

some of you may know that i had regularly been studying with the jw's for about two years, but i was never baptized.

i stumbled on some information about the child molestation scandal a few months ago, and that started me on the road to questioning the organization (for further details on my situation, see my topic history).. anyway, up until now, i had decided to just fade into the background, still attending sunday kh meetings because i want to attend some church, and i just don't know where else to go (don't agree w/ the teachings of the other churches in my vicinity either).

my last "study" w/ my bible study conductor (a month or so ago) was terrible.

jwfacts

Good for you Lynn. Yes, it is standard behaviour. Your rejecting her is threatening her whole existence and so she has to protect herself.
When a bible study attends meetings regularly it is quickly assumed they will get baptised. The gossip that happens if you stop going is normal too, as the congregation has to explain how you possibly could reject what is obviously the truth. The reasons are generally that you couldnt live without premarital sex, or some other vice that you must be addicted to. In your case you seem to have made it know that you had made a more intelligent decision than that, so they will right you off as being misled by Satan's apostates, so you must have been a goat all along.

38

HELP! 'FREELOADER' PIONNER SIS. WANTS TO USE MY LAPTOP! HELP!!

by stillAwitness in

jw
friends

the "freeloader" pioneer sister who lives with us asked me this morning if she could "look" up something real quick on my laptop.

i was not prepared for this and quickly told her the system was down and i would let her use it later.

how do i get rid of all the recent sites box that you can scroll down to.

jwfacts

Hi Stilla,
The guest idea is the easiest to set up, and then put a password on your own account. That way when the computer starts up she can not get into your settings. Windows is not very safe, so if she knows what she is doing she can still get into your account, does not sound likely though.
Then again, if she realises you are trying to lock her out from your history she will probably assume you are up to no good. Don't be surprised if you start hearing rumours in the congregation that you browsing porn sites.

51

heard back from my dad - you won't believe it!

by freedomlover in

hey all you great people - in case you read my letter i sent to my dad the other day you may be interested in his reply.

(see topic history for letter to my dad) .

i am so happy and relieved.

jwfacts

That is great, I long to hear those exact same words.
Like you said, don't get your hopes up. He may not feel he is in a position to leave, and likely will not feel quite the same on everything as you so it is not worth causing tension over, as so many of us end up doing with our own families. Just to know he understands you and accepts you is worth more than gold.

99

Many Questions

by urstruly in

hi i'm new to this forum.

i've looked at other websites to and i see all this about the jw's, now i'm not one, i was raised a jw but made my own decision and my parents respected that.

i've read so many horror stories, but my life wasn't like that at all, as a matter of fact, when they first knocked on our door and my mother accepted a study our life changed for ever, it was for the best in many ways.

jwfacts

There are many religions that could have saved your mother from her predicament. There are many religions that have good moral God fearing people. You can be grateful that the WTS saved your family, but you need to realise that every religion is filled with stories like yours. No one is denying that the WTS has greatly helped people.
However most people on this site have had their lives affected for the worse. To grow believing the lie that you will never die and that you are the only religion with righteous people has many damaging long term effects.
It can be likened to going to a doctor and being cured of an illness. If the Doctor dishonestly convinces you that having sex with him is part of the cure can you say that the visit was worth it? If he prevented you dieing maybe, but it still does not justify what basically amounts to rape, nor does it mean another doctor could not have saved you without taking advantage of you. By being dishonest to their members the WTS is abusing a position of power, and this is no different than rape.
Another aspect of the WTS is to control people by fear and guilt (fear of armageddon, fear of being disfellowshiped, fear of how bad the world is, guilt that they are never doing enough.) This does not mean they do not provide good as well. But again this too is an abuse of power. A father may feed his children, which can not be denied as being beneficial for the child. But it does not excuse him mentally and emotionally abusing them.

29

Circuit Overseer Pensions and the Implications

by AlanF in

i just learned that the watchtower society has instituted a pension plan of sorts for circuit overseers.

this is a big change.. previous to this new plan, the various kinds of "traveling overseers" were pretty much on their own when they retired from the traveling work.

in a few cases, such men were invited to live out their lives in bethel, but in most cases they simply went back to being normal rank and file members who had to fend for themselves financially.. i can only speculate that the reason for this change was that the society has been having difficulty getting elders to become circuit overseers.

jwfacts

My father is a CO and I have not heard anything about this, good news if it is, as he is 60 and i have been worrying about what he will do when he retires.
I had never thought about the green handshake before. In Australia a tip is taxable. Even a gift is taxable if the relationship developed due to work done for a person. A CO and Bethelite are employees, as I used to put the car allowance on my tax return and then claim the car expenses as a deduction for travelling to the meetings. This was after advice from the Bethel accounts department. I doubt any claim gifts as income.

18

Did I do wrong on skeeping the "fading" stage?

by flag in

up to last month i was a witness in "good" standing in the cong.

i was not from the elite circle but everybody respects me and a lot of people go to me for advice or comfort when they feel left out by "holy ones".

so, i don't know if i made a mistake by cutting all jw activities at once because now i think i'm the topic of the conversation and phone calls already started to come this past weekend.

jwfacts

You did well. I faded over several years, did not work very well. It just meant the gossip went on for several years. When I set up a salad bar everyone was convinced i was skipping meetings because I was materialistic and working too hard.
The elders kept on my back for all those years and eventually disfellowshiped me anyway. That was when the gossip went from thinking i was a workaholic to being an apostate.

41

What do you think they'd do if I did this at the Memorial?

by jwfacts in

this year was going to be the first time in my life that i did not attend the memorial.

but i just thought of something that i would love to try out for a stir.

what do you think would happen if i skulled the entire glass of wine?

jwfacts

Hi Willyloman,
I notice your comments regularly show people show move on to take away any power that the elders presume they have. Hopefully I can get to that stage one day.