Posts by coolhandluke

8

A few of my experiences growing up in the 80's........

by WingCommander in

jw
friends

aaron's thread over in the "personal experiences" section really got me thinking about how it was to grow up a jw child in the 80's.

i was born in 1979. so, i missed the 1970's.

imagine that crap!!

coolhandluke

Damn. Got emotional on that one. I missed out on band and plays. Cartoons? Never. I had to learn to use the vcr to even know what they were like. Sometimes I'd pretend to be sick so I could stay home and watch them. I loved it when Thanksgiving and Christmas came around so they'd show cartoons at night. Damn. Cable? F*ck no. I had to learn to steal it to even know what it was like. My best friend who taught me to play bass had to be given up because he was "bad association". I missed him so much. He cared about me unconditionally. It was great. He showed me my first porno. I regret that decision to this day, but I was being a good JW, right? I'll get a reward as I'm burying those that I love, right?

CHL (of still waters run deep/want my f*cking childhood back class)

34

black, black coffee

by tetrapod.sapien in

jw
friends

what is it with people who live life like they bought it at a store?

like they know exactly how it is supposed to work, and they live like it too?

like it's so simple.

coolhandluke

I hate it when people post songs. Seems I'll have to hate myself. If you don't know the song Aenima by Tool, report to your local "record shop" and commence consumerism. Maybe just download it. Thats a better idea. My favorite part is f*ck L. Ron Hubbard and f*ck all his clones. Ahh I feel cleansed

Some say the end is near.
 Some say we'll see armageddon soon.
 I certainly hope we will.
 I sure could use a vacation from this

 Bullshit three ring circus sideshow of
 Freaks

 Here in this hopeless f**king hole we call LA
 The only way to fix it is to flush it all away.
 Any f**king time. Any f**king day.
 Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona bay.

 Fret for your figure and
 Fret for your latte and
 Fret for your hairpiece and
 Fret for your lawsuit and
 Fret for your prozac and
 Fret for your pilot and
 Fret for your contract and
 Fret for your car.

 It's a
 Bullshit three ring circus sideshow of
 Freaks

 Here in this hopeless f**king hole we call LA
 The only way to fix it is to flush it all away.
 Any f**king time. Any f**king day.
 Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona bay.

 Some say a comet will fall from the sky.
 Followed by meteor showers and tidal waves.
 Followed by faultlines that cannot sit still.
 Followed by millions of dumbfounded dipshits.

 Some say the end is near.
 Some say we'll see armageddon soon.
 I certainly hope we will cuz
 I sure could use a vacation from this

 Silly shit, stupid shit...

 One great big festering neon distraction,
 I've a suggestion to keep you all occupied.

 Learn to swim.

 Mom's gonna fix it all soon.
 Mom's comin' round to put it back the way it ought to be.

 Learn to swim.

 F**k L Ron Hubbard and
 F**k all his clones.
 F**k all those gun-toting
 Hip gangster wannabes.

 Learn to swim.

 F**k retro anything.
 F**k your tattoos.
 F**k all you junkies and
 F**k your short memory.

 Learn to swim.

 F**k smiley glad-hands
 With hidden agendas.
 F**k these dysfunctional,
 Insecure actresses.

 Learn to swim.

 Cuz I'm praying for rain
 And I'm praying for tidal waves
 I wanna see the ground give way.
 I wanna watch it all go down.
 Mom please flush it all away.
 I wanna watch it go right in and down.
 I wanna watch it go right in.
 Watch you flush it all away.

 Time to bring it down again.
 Don't just call me pessimist.
 Try and read between the lines.

 I can't imagine why you wouldn't
 Welcome any change, my friend.

 I wanna see it all come down.
 suck it down.
 flush it down.

34

black, black coffee

by tetrapod.sapien in

jw
friends

what is it with people who live life like they bought it at a store?

like they know exactly how it is supposed to work, and they live like it too?

like it's so simple.

coolhandluke

People love the movie fight club. Wonderful film and an even better book. There is a part of Tyler's narrative where he's describing the overgrown forests on rodeo drive as he stalks an animal and marvels at an abandoned superhighway. I smile at this all of the time. I ache for it. Nuclear holocaust; I'd hate the casualties. Nuclear holocaust; I'd love the resulting chaos. If nothing more I'd embrace the return to what is truly important: People, family, eating, sharing ideas, humanity, nature, surfing, respect. I'm with you tetra. Can I keep my leather couch?

CHL

50

Tetragod vs Infamousone

by horrible life in

jw
friends

tetragod vs infamousone.

both are hot.

both are strong.

coolhandluke

very tidy little behind

What are you going to do back there that it needs to be so tidy?

36

Interview with God (Let's write one!)

by AlmostAtheist in

jw
friends

god's been pretty quiet lately, and frankly, i think people have largely forgotten about him.

it's time that he took center stage again and reminded people he's there.

unlike in the past though when he might have killed somebody, floated an axe head, or caused some sort of atmospheric anomaly, today he'd be much more likely to simply show up on the today show for an interview.. let us assume that's what happened.

coolhandluke

Interviewer: "So what about things like the Holy Crusades? How can you condone them by inaction"

God: "Wait, you're gonna love this. This is totally a related side note. Do you know where popcorn came from?"

Interviewer: "Um, no?"

God: "Well, heaven is kinda boring, what with all the endless monotone singing and praising. BOOOORING!!! I rarely get to see anything cool. That's why I had the Israelites fight all those battles. The Crusades? Money! I invented popcorn for occasions like this. Me and Jesus sometimes pop some on the stove, so much better like that by the way, and then we bet on whose gonna win. It's like black ants versus red ants, 'cept way more blood!"

125

Human Sexuality 101: Everything a young girl needs to hear?

by Check_Your_Premises in

"body you" is very smart about a few, simple things.

this is how you want it because "body you" is kind of a moron.. fact 2: all living things have two primary desires: to stay alive, and to have offspring.. this is a basic, defining biological fact.

of course "brain you" doesnt think, "i want to talk to that cute boy because i want to procreate", but "body you" is!

coolhandluke

Maybe its the age of these men. I dunno. I will watch the surgery channel for grins and shiggles or just out of curiosity. I love babies. When my sister was pregnant with her first I went to the library and read everything I could. I watched so many filmed births. It was just fascinating.

Once my girlfriend was a few days late with her cycle. Inside I went pale because I just wasn't ready. Immediately I was planning life insurance, a home, how to make sure she finished school, a savings plan. She was just freaked out about the moment. Then when she bled there was a chest bump and a high five, but for totally different reasons. Perhaps that occurs because I could not change what was going to happen, I could only force fall back plans. I don't totally disagree with you. I just disagree with the blanket statement and the motives for the paleness.

CHL (of the likes chest bumps with girls class)

31

ARRESTED-ELDER SEX 12 y.o. IN K-HALL

by DannyHaszard in

former elder heads to trial on sex charges

news & observer, nc - 14 minutes ago .

pittsboro -- a former jehovah's witnesses minister accused of repeatedly having sex with two underage girls in the group's siler city church is scheduled to go ... .

coolhandluke

I'm going to be sick. Then I'm going to hunt. Then I'm going to torture. Then I'm going to maim. I wish life were that simple. I'd get a sharp edge weapon and a good crossbow. Game on!

125

Human Sexuality 101: Everything a young girl needs to hear?

by Check_Your_Premises in

"body you" is very smart about a few, simple things.

this is how you want it because "body you" is kind of a moron.. fact 2: all living things have two primary desires: to stay alive, and to have offspring.. this is a basic, defining biological fact.

of course "brain you" doesnt think, "i want to talk to that cute boy because i want to procreate", but "body you" is!

coolhandluke

The young father is shaken and pale.

Mmmm. Blanket statements warm my unmentionable places. Normally Jgnat, I agree with many of the things you say. This however is retarded. Perhaps your experience has limited your scope of men and the births of their children. I'd say men like this are in the minority. True enough it is in our nature to plan past the moment but that does not mean that it removes the ability to enjoy and be absorbed by that moment. I'd not care to assume a woman's perspective at such a time as I've not had the experience. Perhaps your assumations when confronted with a greater pool of male experience would follow the same vein.

CHL

19

Utopian society = no interracial marriage

by coolhandluke in

jw
friends

i love women.

tall, short, thick, skinny, brown, yellow, red and all shades in between.

i even love the green women on the original star trek.

coolhandluke

And beautiful to me, may not be beautiful to you.

I'm with you 100%. It just bothered me when I was a kid to have a label that proceeded my name. I get reminded verbally every day that I have dark skin. It comes in the form of a joke or some stupid comment but it comes. I hate it. It programs me to wonder, "Does that girl not like me because I'm brown?" No, she doesn't like you because shes got a boyfriend. Social programming pisses me off. I just see it a lot in wt publications. The mixes of race make me happy, give me hope.

When I learned spanish I became known as "the black guy who speaks spanish". That was my designation. Someone once asked me "What do you consider yourself? Black, African American, Colored? What?" I consider myself Dominick, one of the baddest muthaf**kers of all time. That is that.

34

Hello, I'm Aaron, and this is my story...

by MetricRX in

dear reader,

my name is aaron, and i have a brief story to tell regarding my youth as a jehovah's witnesses.

my story is all too familiar for many who had the misfortune to find themselves unwilling participants in the religious activities of this group, but i would like to share my experience.

coolhandluke

Freaking hilarity. Loved every bit of it

CHL