coolhandluke

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Posts by coolhandluke

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  18

  White vs Black vs Grey (Gray)

  by coolhandluke in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when i was a young man everything was black and white, good and evil, you see?

  but then i grew to find that there was only grey" ~ anonymous character.

  in the days of dogmatic reasoning i knew that i had the truth.

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  coolhandluke

  rebirth: i can so very very much appreciate your viewpoint and method of parenting. good on ya
• 
  18

  White vs Black vs Grey (Gray)

  by coolhandluke in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when i was a young man everything was black and white, good and evil, you see?

  but then i grew to find that there was only grey" ~ anonymous character.

  in the days of dogmatic reasoning i knew that i had the truth.

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  coolhandluke

  i agree with you as well chickpea. the thing is that this new mom has recently become religious at the birth of her child. whereas before she did drugs and broke other "commandments". she now is closed minded and rigid. i understand that she's just afraid of not having answers to questions that her daughter will have. but that is part of the human experience. i hated when i asked my mom questions and i could tell that she didn't know but made up an answer anyway. it pissed me off. i'd rather her have told me that she didn't know rather than essentially lie to my face. it made me respect her so much less.
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  18

  White vs Black vs Grey (Gray)

  by coolhandluke in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when i was a young man everything was black and white, good and evil, you see?

  but then i grew to find that there was only grey" ~ anonymous character.

  in the days of dogmatic reasoning i knew that i had the truth.

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  coolhandluke

  5go, i was joking. look at the spellings in all of the sentences. there is some brit spelling of a word in all of them
• 
  18

  White vs Black vs Grey (Gray)

  by coolhandluke in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when i was a young man everything was black and white, good and evil, you see?

  but then i grew to find that there was only grey" ~ anonymous character.

  in the days of dogmatic reasoning i knew that i had the truth.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  coolhandluke

  having my spelling corrected by you is an honour to be sure. i hope i've not made too much an arse of myself spelling it both ways. hopefully you'll not snigger about this behind my back.
• 
  18

  White vs Black vs Grey (Gray)

  by coolhandluke in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when i was a young man everything was black and white, good and evil, you see?

  but then i grew to find that there was only grey" ~ anonymous character.

  in the days of dogmatic reasoning i knew that i had the truth.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  coolhandluke

  When I was a young man everything was black and white, good and evil, you see? But then I grew to find that there was only grey" ~ Anonymous character

  In the days of dogmatic reasoning I knew that I had the truth. As the scales fell off of my eyes I began to see all that I'd wronged in my desire to be right, for the Witnesses to be right, for my mom and grandma to be right. I was reading the bible for the first time with my eyes wide open, not to prove anything but to know something. Eventually I came to a place of nothing. I know nothing for certainty and really neither does anyone. We pretend to know things, we attempt to live in absolutes because nothing drives a human more mad than the not knowing. But dropping the illusion of knowledge is a freeing aparatus. Perhaps I'm off somehow but I don't think so.

  Growing up with a parent who taught me in absolutes made me an ellitist. I knew, you are wrong and I'll show you how was a code that I lived by. When the dust settled after my leaving, for all of his problems I respected my father most for his stance. He said to me, "Son, with everything I've seen in my life there isn't much I know for any true certainty. Here is what I believe and here is why." There was no absolute and I respected him for that. Mind you I was 24 when this conversation happened.

  Here is my question, spawned by a conversation with a new mother: Is it better to raise children in absolutes or is it better to raise them to ask questions?
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  25

  Do the right thing

  by coolhandluke in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have a story for you.

  it relates to being an ex-jw but you don't get that till the end unlessin of course you are a smart cookie and can figure it out before then.

  i love playing cards.

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  coolhandluke

  thanks for the comments everybody. they cheered me up. :)
  
  journey:
  
  the reason and season thing is appropriate. i guess what i learned is that i define how i am treated for better or worse it comes down to me.
  
  missing Link:
  
  i feel you. it is my escapism too
  
  sixy:
  
  believe me, when i was cutting the tomatoes the thought of how sharp the knife was had me thinking...
  
  nina:
  
  as always you know how to cheer a guy up with a violent reference
  
  DJK:
  
  yeah. it was confusing. i really don't get it. i guess its not to understand but to accept and grow from
  
  joanna:
  
  word. couldn't have said it better
  
  nellie:
  
  you gave me a ton to think about. thank you
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  25

  Do the right thing

  by coolhandluke in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have a story for you.

  it relates to being an ex-jw but you don't get that till the end unlessin of course you are a smart cookie and can figure it out before then.

  i love playing cards.

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  coolhandluke

  i guess the larger thing that i wonder if it cost me is a measure of pride. trying to convince a drunk girl that you really did give her keys back to her and that she indeed put them in her purse is at best fucking annoying and at worst a waste of time. its one thing for someone to take advantage of you. it is entirely another for you to give them the roadmap to do so
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  25

  Do the right thing

  by coolhandluke in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have a story for you.

  it relates to being an ex-jw but you don't get that till the end unlessin of course you are a smart cookie and can figure it out before then.

  i love playing cards.

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  2. 
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• 

  coolhandluke

  I have a story for you. It relates to being an ex-JW but you don't get that till the end unlessin of course you are a smart cookie and can figure it out before then.
  
  I love playing cards. I play a few times a week. Thursday is my favorite day. It's the day I go to my home bar, have a good cigar and celebrate the fact that I have not strangled anyone this week. I play cards there at 9 p.m. almost without fail. One of the dealers there is someone who for better or worse I've come to know. I invited her to share sushi day with me a month or two ago. Sushi day is also a celebration of the fact that no one has died by my hand. She ruined sushi day. She treated a mock dateish kind of affair like an interview and believe me, she didn't get the job. She spent a lot of it talking about her ex-boyfriend 8 months removed and the confusion that that has brought to her. Along with that a few sordid tales of drug induced stupidity. Fine. Dandy
  
  This girl and I share a love of movies. A few weeks ago I was at the card table talking about how excited I was because during Oscar season there are way more movies available to illegally download in DVD format that are still in theaters. I had just gotten No Country For Old Men. For some unknown reason I invited her over. Perhaps because she's easy on the eyes. Perhaps I'm passed the phase where I'd try to impress her or be nervous to be around her. Or perhaps because I love talking about the movie when its over as much as I love watching it. She. Talked. Through. The. Whole. Thing...about NOTHING. I wanted gag her with that pair of dirty drawers from my morning run.
  
  Fast forward through a few flakish exchanges, the fact that she asked me to help her find a job and her general inability to communicate unless there is something to be gained from the communication and you will arrive at my current state of ambivalence to anything having to do with her.
  
  Last night was poker. She got completely shit faced. Not my business. Don't get involved with grown folks business Dominick. The bar was closing and the vultures were circling. Not my business. Don't get involved with drunk, horny, grown folks business Dominick. I could hear my mom in the back of my head. When she's in there, my mom makes a dull thumping sound. It's really quite annoying. So I get involved in grown folks business. I tell her she can sleep on my couch. I drive her car back to my apartment which is about 2 minutes away. She makes some comment about me not being a dick about being nice to her. I turn around, hold out her keys and said, "Happy DUI." She apologizes, laughs and we continue on to my apartment.
  
  "Got anything to eat?"
  
  'Raisin Bran, salmon, broccoli, roma tomatoes, water, gatorade, milk, tea.'
  
  "None of that really goes together"
  
  I'm exasperated and irritable at this point. I throw some stuff together and come out with a masterpiece. Why? Cuz I'm bomb ass cook and unfortunately a Cancer. It's how I am. I guess it has less to do with her and more to do with me. I make this olive oil that has had a medley of herbs infused into it over the past 6 months. I start with that, some green onions, garlic, deglaze with balsamic vinegar, add fresh roma tomatoes, some grilled salmon, some half and half, season, spice... brilliant. I feed her, get her some gatorade, make a bed on my couch, clean my dishes, brush my teeth, lock my bedroom door and I go to sleep.
  
  This morning she's still a bit drunkish, still asleep on the couch. I take a shower, get dressed for work and wake her. She drives me back to my car and is really not super appreciative.
  
  Here is my question: How often does someone you meet in a bar take this good of care of you and not try to sleep with you (in this case out of personality repulsion)?
  
  The JW part factors in because I try to think chivalrous, gentlemanly thoughts... Well maybe not thoughts but general behavior. Sadly though being an asshole seems to work out so much better with most people most of the time. For the life of me I cannot understand why this girl acts like I did nothing out of the ordinary and sees this almost as manifest destiny. It makes me wish I was not a nice person. But if I heard that she had gotten into an accident or gotten arrested that blood guilt thing would rear an ugly head. So... I did the right thing... didn't I? Somehow call for a cab seems so much better an idea now.
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  16

  six degrees of dredlock seperation

  by coolhandluke in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  so apparently i am highly recognizable.

  large dredlocked black man living in colorado with odd sense of humor posts on discussion board is a t-shirt that i didn't know i was wearing.

  :) i went to a local eatery where they call out your name when your sandwich is prepared.

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  coolhandluke

  "very, very, cool luke. I'm from Colorado too. Two kids in Boulder. Someday, maybe a meet-up?"
  
  absolutely!
  
  "I thought it might be you when I got in line. Saw your 'Captain Jack Sparrow', no help there, and then tried to spy the name on your credit card. "
  
  stalker :P
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  16

  six degrees of dredlock seperation

  by coolhandluke in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  so apparently i am highly recognizable.

  large dredlocked black man living in colorado with odd sense of humor posts on discussion board is a t-shirt that i didn't know i was wearing.

  :) i went to a local eatery where they call out your name when your sandwich is prepared.

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  coolhandluke

  "It HAD to be you, I knew in LONE TREE you'd be hard to miss. . .but in a good way." i take that as praise. :D