I didn't realize I was being heavy. I thought I was being observant. Thinking of myself in relation to other people and them to me. Thinking about how I react to things sometimes without thinking about my own issues that cloud my judgment and that produce judgment at all.
coolhandluke
JoinedPosts by coolhandluke
-
28
Daily Text from JH and Minimus
by coolhandluke ini lurk here more often than i post anymore but there is a commonality every time i log on.
the daily text.
at times these threads are the longest ones on the board until the next day when the topic is pulled from the daily text recycle bag or wherever it is they get them from, and prominently displayed on the active topics page in technicolor for viewers like you and me.
-
-
-
28
Daily Text from JH and Minimus
by coolhandluke ini lurk here more often than i post anymore but there is a commonality every time i log on.
the daily text.
at times these threads are the longest ones on the board until the next day when the topic is pulled from the daily text recycle bag or wherever it is they get them from, and prominently displayed on the active topics page in technicolor for viewers like you and me.
-
-
coolhandluke
I lurk here more often than I post anymore but there is a commonality every time I log on. The daily text. At times these threads are the longest ones on the board until the next day when the topic is pulled from the daily text recycle bag or wherever it is they get them from, and prominently displayed on the Active Topics page in technicolor for viewers like you and me. I am usually so irritated with the inaneness of the questions, but trying to remove all judgement I have to ask myself why that is. It's because I hated the daily text. The Society loves to rehash the old things
programmedlearned,boringreminding us, framing things in a poor attempt to engage agagspiritual reaction. Its the same animal. This is not an attack and I do not mean it to be. Obviously for some reason or another these posts are super popular. Maybe we are in love with our own pain. Or perhaps the loneliness that we all feel at times is addressed by the self esteem boost of how many people post in reply to the questions. It makes me wonder though about growth. It makes me wonder if this is not akin to picking a scab that is just beginning to heal over because we've gotten used to the comfort of the pain or perhaps because sometimes we want to know we are still alive and its nice to see it bleed. -
15
Lessons Learned from Captain Jack Sparrow
by zagor ini've found this article that rang so true to me.
i share as sacred just about everything described, though in last few months i've found myself betraying my own values.
so i'm glad i found this reminder, these are defintely going on my wall as my own 20 commandments.
-
-
coolhandluke
badass. thanks sharing
-
14
Personal Truths
by searching4truth ini have been doing alot of soul searching lately.
having been raised as a dub and my entire world focused on that existence i seem to be a bit lost as to who i am.
everything my life was based on was a lie, so that being the case i find myself having to toss all my former philosophies aside and start from scratch.
-
-
coolhandluke
bttt
-
16
What if....?
by coolhandluke inas always when talking to my brother i come to a higher state of awareness.
at eight years my senior, he challenges and prods me.
i need that from time to time to keep me honest.
-
-
coolhandluke
thanks for the assist Lola. I think you were spot on. Scully? I'm just not angry about it. It makes me sad, but doesn't make me want to lash out. I have a hard time holding onto resentment. It is a poison. Day in and day out all of you do a service to people leaving. I appreicate that because that means you are here for me when I need it. The problem for me is sustained anger. I just don't have it in me.
-
16
What if....?
by coolhandluke inas always when talking to my brother i come to a higher state of awareness.
at eight years my senior, he challenges and prods me.
i need that from time to time to keep me honest.
-
-
coolhandluke
Hey Luke you know what, my mother is the same. I have been trying for many years to get my mother to understand things. Nothing seems to get through to her. A couple of years ago, she had triple heart by pass surgery and is starting to get sick again. When you become aware of your mortality, and your mothers, you will realize that the only thing that matters is that she loves you in her heart despite that fact that it's warped. I now know that my mother needs this and will never change. She is a victim of this cult just as you are. Feel pity and love her anyways. The only closure to this for me is to understand that she loves me and really thinks she's doing the right thing. I can work around it because I know this. It's all you can ask for,even if we don't get loved the way we would like to be. I was never ever hugged growing up either, but then maybe she wasn't. Show her love, but let her know, that you wish to be respected for who you are even if you have to remind her. This is almost a matter of role reversal where you are now the adult and she is he child. If you show love and she rejects it just remember she is acting like a child and try to be patient the way your brother is with you. I hope this helps bud. Take care and good luck. Love is all that matters. We cannot replace our mothers, but if you determine her to be a sociopath, get away, this can only damage you, and pray for her soul.
Thank you. I'm going to save this and refer to it again later. This has helped me. Thanks again.
P.S. My mom was great to me growing up. We were best friends. Perhaps this is why it is so hard. She once said to me that the most difficult thing for her was resisting the urge to call me for every problem that arose in her life. That was hard for me to hear. She felt like she needed me and in that I had failed her and failed our relationship by my choice to leave
-
16
What if....?
by coolhandluke inas always when talking to my brother i come to a higher state of awareness.
at eight years my senior, he challenges and prods me.
i need that from time to time to keep me honest.
-
-
coolhandluke
I'm not going to go out of my way to "get her out" but if I ever see a chink in the armor I will exploit it and see what happens.
agreed. wholeheartedly.
-
16
What if....?
by coolhandluke inas always when talking to my brother i come to a higher state of awareness.
at eight years my senior, he challenges and prods me.
i need that from time to time to keep me honest.
-
-
coolhandluke
Unless she is just a crackerjack at bringing in new recruits
Even if she was. She lives in the US. It's not going to make a difference.
My 2p says your brother is wise.
He really really is. Very much a guide for me in my travels in this verse. If I were to lose him, I'd be lost
-
16
What if....?
by coolhandluke inas always when talking to my brother i come to a higher state of awareness.
at eight years my senior, he challenges and prods me.
i need that from time to time to keep me honest.
-
-
coolhandluke
I think as a former JW, we are taught to put conditions on accepting people's choices. while it is sad that your mother, as so many JW's, would give up a child in the name of their religion, the fact that you love your mother so much that you see it would be mentally devastating if she were to realize the untruths about the truth, shows that you have not lost that inborn love a child has for their mother. so, i don't know if it's right or wrong to let her continue in bliss, but it's sweet that you don't want her to go through the pain of realizing the hypocricy of her faith like you had to. isn't that truly, "loving your neighbor as yourself"?. that's my take on it anyways. :)
Thank you. That helps a lot. Thank you
-
14
My story, concluded.
by Paralipomenon inwell it's been a while since i wrote the first two parts and this isn't so much a conclusion to the story because it hasn't ended.
it did not go good.
the kids have worldly friends .
-
-
coolhandluke
PM IthinkIsee. He'll help you. He's been down this road. They are both out, kids included. Or go back and read his posts. Smart guy. Smart wife. You already have lots in common.