pretty much living my entire adult life in jw land i had such a one sided biased against the world including gays...in my own family there were a number of gay members that i thought i was so above them and better than them because the bible said so...i had a cousin die of aids in the early 80's and felt no remorse at all...since my departure 4 years ago i have redirected my priorities in life to include those of not my way of life...i currently have a gay cousin about my age and see the world in a whole new light...i no longer feel superior to anyone and accept those for who they are...this has been a long and hard road back to simplicity i'm just sorry it took so long...
And sometimes, it can be a dog thing. I've seen it.
What kind of a ill thought out, off the cuff non-sequitur was that? Gay man and gay dog? I hope you are trying to say that is a mamalian characteristic to have mainstream divergent sexual practices and not comparing gay people to dogs. Amazing.
if you are a star wars fan, are you going to go see it?.
star wars: the clone wars.
see. what pissess me off about this is that there was a cartoon produced called the clone wars that was on cartoon network and was better in my humble opinion than the movies. it was flat out amazing. now it looks like this asshole lucas walking around with his CGI boner has to go and ruin some more stuff. dick.
okay so i was sent a link that has pirated movies (the new ones that are playing at the theatre).. however to view many of them you do not have to 'download' but simply press the arrow like youtube.. would you give into the temptation?.
.
go here. thepiratebay dot org have fun. you didnt get this from me.
okay so i was sent a link that has pirated movies (the new ones that are playing at the theatre).. however to view many of them you do not have to 'download' but simply press the arrow like youtube.. would you give into the temptation?.
.
tempted? pffft. i do it like religion. my dvd player plays avi files. i download then play. oscar season is my favorite. lots of stuff in the theaters is put on dvd format and then placed online. bittorent is the greatest thing since sliced bread and birth control pills. if i want to see a movie in the theater, that is where i go. just because i can get it in dvd format doesnt mean that i wont go to the theater. better sound, better picture and sometimes a social event.
to be honest - i've never loved anyone - i'm talking about the romatic type here.
i have liked & been attracted to people....but love, nope.
i have no idea how to identify it.. looking at people in "so called" love today can be a bit deceptive, as what i have seen and still see to a great extent is 2 people .
Alot of people seem to think that romantic love should be unconditional, which is completely unrealistic. We all have conditions on romantic love, otherwise we'd not be loving ourselves.
A-freaking-men. Preach sista preach.
I think the thing is that if someone crosses a boundary line that you've established, set up and talked about that self preservation says that the relationship has to end or change for the preservation of self. that doesn't mean that I'm going to stop loving you. Love is love in spite of peoples short comings... sometimes because of them...
to be honest - i've never loved anyone - i'm talking about the romatic type here.
i have liked & been attracted to people....but love, nope.
i have no idea how to identify it.. looking at people in "so called" love today can be a bit deceptive, as what i have seen and still see to a great extent is 2 people .
i dont want to derail this thread. i'll make another one to discuss this... i dont need professional help. in all honesty i'm one of the healthiest people i know mentally. recognizing dark impulses is important. we all have them.
here ya go:
when the iron curtain fell in the 90's, my parents went to russia with a group of other jws.
since then, they've taught themselves russian and now go over about every 3rd year.
they also work the russian territory here once a month and spend about 10 hours traveling around in a 100 mile radius.
weird. i dated this girl and went to the russian hall in los angeles for a little while. the only thing i remember how to say is jehovah god, hi, my name is dominick, whats your name, whats that?, that is a stool, that is a pen, that is a pencil, who is that?, that is ..., and whats up. wow. i remember more than i thought.
to be honest - i've never loved anyone - i'm talking about the romatic type here.
i have liked & been attracted to people....but love, nope.
i have no idea how to identify it.. looking at people in "so called" love today can be a bit deceptive, as what i have seen and still see to a great extent is 2 people .
it is in my nature to seek out chaos. i love violence. i like to hurt people. i would like to watch the world burn and hear its screams knowing that im the one that poured the gasoline and lit the match. the idea of it makes me smile. this is my shadow self.
i love people. i love to make them smile. internal peace exported externally is my constant goal. if i can find and champion a cause that i believe in, the day is better. this is my sunny self.
i am in love. funny, the voices from my shadow self are there but calm, docile. i feel them but they dont matter so much and their adgendas don't have any weight in the real of my hands or the imagined world of my thoughts. nothing seems impossible and at the end of the day i feel an inner satisfaction with myself. im not saying that being in love brought these things but the peace from it helped me to see them much easier. the goals that i'd set for myself that seemed unreachable seem like only a matter of time now. the parts of me that dwelled in the shadows find no need to exist there anymore. home is where she is and im content. i expect so much more of myself and i seek out ways to manifest the man that i am inside. the idea of children isn't far off from me but seems like an eventuality instead of a curse or some unimaginable pressure. i think i've loved women before but it was for a reason... to get something to fill some void or to shore up some insecurity about myself, to mask something that i hated about me. now i know that i love this woman for no other reason than that i don't know how not to.
so i start thinking about all my "privileges.
" i went to mts, took 600 pages of notes, went to my assignment, i am still serving under the mts program.
for a few years until my circumstances changed.
Neo (the first time he returned to the Matrix): "I used to eat there. Really good noodles. I have these memories from my life. None of them happened. What does that mean?"
Trinity: "That the Matrix cannot tell you who you are."
You define your existence. You define the real, the not real, the pain, the joy... Im saying this to say that you are running into the wall that we all run into when the cognitive dissonance begins to shed its skin. The choice you are making in this case means that you are now the architect of your life. No one else. Congratulations. The pain will diminish with time.
would you like a side of axe murderer with your beverage? that can apparently be arranged.
