Rubyvixen

Joined

• started 4 topics
• posted 59 times   see topics posted on
• send a message

Posts by Rubyvixen

• 
  39

  Do you find it difficult to tell your JW parents you love them?

  by misspeaches in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  does anyone find it difficult to express their emotions to their jw parents?

  my father has never been a jw and i feel comfortable enough to tell him how much i love him without hesitation.

  when it comes to my jw mum i feel like it is forced and then i feel resentful and then i feel guilty all at once.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Rubyvixen

  Wow.
  
  This entire thread now has me with a knot in my stomach and I am choking back tears here at work.
  
  This is my experience too and I have often wondered if it was just in my mother's personality to be that way but now I see a pattern and I feel anger now because while I knew the religion contributed to it, I can see it contributed more to it than I thought :( :(
  
  My mother is very devoid of any emotion other than that fake 'kingdom joy'. When we started talking after years of her refusing to talk to me (post my dis-fellowshipping at the age of 17) it was really strained and I am a very warm person so when she would come visit me, I would go to hug her when I said goodbye and it was (is) like hugging a mannequin which makes my heart shatter everytime. I even say 'I love you' when we part ways because I do love her (I don't love what that religion has done to her) and she never says 'I love you' back and it almost looks painful for her.
  
  I feel sometimes like she is a robot and it breaks my heart especially since I am so open and so warm and so outgoing and I cannot even fathom being that way if I had a child.
  
  Something else I have thought about a lot recently is that I have an extreme abandonment complex which my boyfriend pointed out to me a while back (I had never realized how severe it was). I really think this has a lot to do with growing up in that religion and constantly being in fear of destruction around me, losing people (I had amazing hidden friendships with kids outside the truth)...ugh...
• 
  97

  What silly rules did your congregation make up?

  by weinermcgee in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  elders were famous for making up stupid rules with no bible base at all as an ego trip i guess, what were some of yours?

  i am not talking about the stupid rules that we all had to follow, just the congregation specific silly ones.. 1. having to button your jacket while on stage (this was later changed due to all the elders having a beer gut).

  2. suits only or no privledges.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Rubyvixen

  Did this ever happen in anyone else's congo?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• 
  42

  Does your family still think you are coming back?

  by kid-A in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  hope springs eternal in the wts.

  despite having left before even being baptized, i would have to say my parents still wholeheartedly believe i will someday come around, .

  get baptized, become active and maybe even become an elder !

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Rubyvixen

  Oh, oh, oh!
  
  Sorry, this topic hits such a nerve with me :(
  
  On top of all the above, my mother also plays the whole 'I would love it one day if you come back because then we could all be a family again'....
  
  WTF???
  
  My brothers (flesh and blood) haven't spoken to me since I was 17 when I got DFed because it would 'hurt their conscience'. They don't know me at all! Where were they when I was holding 4 jobs, working 6 days a week and putting myself through college???? Where were they when I had medical issues that were terrible that I had to get through???? They don't even know what I look like, what my interests are....nothing.
  
  Sorry but those people just because they are flesh and blood are not my 'family'. Who the hell would want a family like that?? Where love is CONDITIONAL?
  
  I have actually said this to her over and over again and she has nothing to say to that...usually changes the subject and then brings it up again like a broken record.
  
  Again, logic doesn't seem to apply there for those people.
• 
  42

  Does your family still think you are coming back?

  by kid-A in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  hope springs eternal in the wts.

  despite having left before even being baptized, i would have to say my parents still wholeheartedly believe i will someday come around, .

  get baptized, become active and maybe even become an elder !

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Rubyvixen

  Sadly yes.
  
  This only confirms the fact that it is a cult and they are brainwashed.
  
  I left it 10 years ago formally by being DFed, have been living on my own ever since (well with roommates and boyfriends etc...and now with a most wonderful boyfriend for the last 3 years but you get the point, supporting myself with no help from them whatsoever), have a pretty good life, a job I love and am devoted to, friends I can count on who are fabulous and so many life experiences I wouldn't trade in for anything. No regrets.
  
  Yet, somehow, in my mother's eyes I *must* want to eventually go back to that which I got myself DFed from. I guess I don't fit the mold of the hopeless, lost, depressed worldling who is so unsuccessful and needing of them huh?
  
  It drives me crazy.
  
  It's like logic just completely goes over their heads and their myopic way of thinking that everyone who is not a part of their ridiculous cult is starving to be in it as well makes me so furious sometimes as well.
  
  But I take a deep breath and look around at what I have which is richer and deeper than any of that BS and that is that.
• 
  64

  Becoming a woman...

  by Rubyvixen in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i remember when i was around the age of 10 or 11, there was a book that jehovah's witness parents used in family bible study that had two versions (one for male, one for females) or maybe there was one and it just had chapters and i am remembering wrong.

  i do remember vividly having to endure the rather male dominated view of what happens when a young woman enters adolescence and what a young woman has to look forward to in her 'duties' as a loyal wife and mother serving her husband *gags*.

  does anyone remember that?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Rubyvixen

  No :)
  
  but thank you as I think Shirley Manson is pretty awesome ;D
• 
  64

  Becoming a woman...

  by Rubyvixen in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i remember when i was around the age of 10 or 11, there was a book that jehovah's witness parents used in family bible study that had two versions (one for male, one for females) or maybe there was one and it just had chapters and i am remembering wrong.

  i do remember vividly having to endure the rather male dominated view of what happens when a young woman enters adolescence and what a young woman has to look forward to in her 'duties' as a loyal wife and mother serving her husband *gags*.

  does anyone remember that?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Rubyvixen

  "It's quite obvious Ruby that you were draining you nervous energy and your resistance to satans influence was diminished. Or did you just go blind??"
  
  All of the above!
  
  Really, I don't know how I manage now ;)
• 
  64

  Becoming a woman...

  by Rubyvixen in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i remember when i was around the age of 10 or 11, there was a book that jehovah's witness parents used in family bible study that had two versions (one for male, one for females) or maybe there was one and it just had chapters and i am remembering wrong.

  i do remember vividly having to endure the rather male dominated view of what happens when a young woman enters adolescence and what a young woman has to look forward to in her 'duties' as a loyal wife and mother serving her husband *gags*.

  does anyone remember that?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Rubyvixen

  Lol!!
  
  Who can forget the 'sex interviews' and 'bovine likenesses'....
  
  Oh man...
  
  It would be far more comical if there weren't actually people who *believed* this stuff!
• 
  64

  Becoming a woman...

  by Rubyvixen in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i remember when i was around the age of 10 or 11, there was a book that jehovah's witness parents used in family bible study that had two versions (one for male, one for females) or maybe there was one and it just had chapters and i am remembering wrong.

  i do remember vividly having to endure the rather male dominated view of what happens when a young woman enters adolescence and what a young woman has to look forward to in her 'duties' as a loyal wife and mother serving her husband *gags*.

  does anyone remember that?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Rubyvixen

  Wow!
  
  In searching for more quotes from the Your Youth.. book I found quotes from another JW book called Learn from the Great Teacher:
  
  " It is important that we know what bad things the demons will try to get us to do. So think about it. What bad things did the demons do when they came to earth? -- Before the Flood, they had sex relations with women, something that was not right for angels to do. Today the demons like it when people do not obey God's law about sex relations. Let me ask you, Who only should have sex relations? -- You are right, only married people.
  
  Today some young boys and girls have sex relations, but this is wrong for them. The Bible talks about the male "genital organ," or penis. (Leviticus 15:1-3) The female genital parts are called the vulva. Jehovah created these parts of the body for a special purpose that should be enjoyed only by married people. It makes the demons happy when people do things that are forbidden by Jehovah. For example, the demons like it when a boy and a girl play with each others' penis or vulva. We don't want to make the demons happy, do we? --"
  
  !!
• 
  64

  Becoming a woman...

  by Rubyvixen in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i remember when i was around the age of 10 or 11, there was a book that jehovah's witness parents used in family bible study that had two versions (one for male, one for females) or maybe there was one and it just had chapters and i am remembering wrong.

  i do remember vividly having to endure the rather male dominated view of what happens when a young woman enters adolescence and what a young woman has to look forward to in her 'duties' as a loyal wife and mother serving her husband *gags*.

  does anyone remember that?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Rubyvixen

  Actually I just did a very loose google search on it and came up with 1976.
• 
  64

  Becoming a woman...

  by Rubyvixen in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i remember when i was around the age of 10 or 11, there was a book that jehovah's witness parents used in family bible study that had two versions (one for male, one for females) or maybe there was one and it just had chapters and i am remembering wrong.

  i do remember vividly having to endure the rather male dominated view of what happens when a young woman enters adolescence and what a young woman has to look forward to in her 'duties' as a loyal wife and mother serving her husband *gags*.

  does anyone remember that?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Rubyvixen

  I would love to know the date of publication as well.