Posts by Cognitive

28

Wohooo ... last university assignment finished !

by Simon in

it feels soooo good having finished the last assignment for the open university courses i've been doing - the 18th one this year .

now i just have to revise for the exams (3 of them over 2 days) ... and if i get at least 40% then i pass, get an extra qualification and we get extra immigration points to get us on our way to canada.

anything extra is a bonus ... distinctions would be nice but i need to get 85% in the exams for that.. although i resent the impact of the wts on my life and not being able to go to university when i should, this actually isn't a bad way to do it - you don't run up massive debts like current students do and because you have more experience probably do better at a subject than if you are starting out.

Cognitive_Dissident

: Anyway, I just wanted to say that it's never too late to pick up your life after the WTS and DO SOMETHING. What are you waiting for? Don't complain that the WTS denied you further education ... go out and make it happen!

just started two weeks ago :) (how does everyone do those crazy animated icons?)

Congrats and good luck on your exams!

93

SHOULD I PIONEER OR COLLEGE?

by stillAwitness in

do you think the wt has become more lenient or stricter over the year?.

i am 21 and i remember just 4 years ago going to college was looked at as something negative.

girls my age, we had plans to be ft pioneers and become secretaries.

Cognitive_Dissident

Welcome to the board Stilla!

I'm a few years older than you and I just started my freshman year too, and I love it. By all means stay in college, no matter what you hear from people in the Kingdom Hall.

As Miss Peaches said, you've obviously got an analytical mind that prompted you to research and question the WTBTS teachings, so I'm sure you'll love college.

The only thing I regret about school was that I didn't go sooner. And even if you are a bit (although not much) older than the other students, chances are you'll be a lot more motivated to be there and apply yourself.

And, if your unsure which direction you want your studies to go, most Universities have a Career Planning Center which, in my experience, has been a wonderful resource. Definitely stay in school.

CD

28

Depression Therpy

by Pbanna in

i suffer from depression and have been on meds, but now i choose not to take them.

i am thinking of going back into just "therepy" but my question is do jws beleive in therepy?

im not a jw but i do read and beleive the jw way.

Cognitive_Dissident

Welcome to the board Pbanna!

I can tell you from first hand experience that the elders are the absolute worst people on earth to talk to about depression. On a few different occasions I went to them regarding severe depression, substance abuse and self-injurious behavior, and all they did was lecture me on the importance of treating the body that God gave me with more respect. I always left feeling a hundred times worse than I did before. And nothing they said ever helped. The elders are in NO WAY qualified to deal with depression, chemical dependence, anxiety, or any other psychological issue.

Once I figured out that they were actually putting me in danger by increasing the guilt and shame that I already felt, I decided to never again speak to them again about anything, ever. I did see a professionally trained psychologist(I've actually been to a few), and I did so while still in. While some in the congregation(the few that knew) expressed concern that it might be dangerous, the fact is, they were just dead wrong. Talk therapy had none of the elements that I had been led to believe would try to weaken my faith. It was completely the opposite, in fact. Talk therapy was one of the most helpful things I could have ever done for myself. Psychologists and psychiatrists are trained to help people, not shame them. I am still on medication for my depression, but it has gotten much better. With the help of my doctor, psychologist, and other trained specialists in the medical field I was able to find a combination of medication and different support networks that worked for me and allowed me to start feeling better and taking an active part in my life again.

I think that you will find that the loving support you get on this discussion board is also very helpful. It has been for me, at least. It's a great place to come to connect with others who might be going through similar issues, or to just vent some emotions if you need to.

C

36

praying for mass destruction and death

by Cognitive_Dissident in

so i was writing a paper the other day, specifically about the skewed world view that i had had as a witness, and i typed the following - .

pain, misery, strife, these were all things that used to prove to me that jehovah's witnesses were correct in their assessment of a dying world which was soon to be liberated/obliterated by the hand of god.

this "liberation" was something that i desperately longed for.

Cognitive_Dissident

: It feels good to be able to see clearly and love freely all mankind.

Boy do I second that motion. The doom and gloom of expecting the world to be destroyed in the very near future is just not a healthy way to live.

36

Hi im a new member!

by skinnyboy in

after several attempts to log on, im finally in!

woohoo!.

well my story goes as follows, grew up a dub, in northern england, mum, dad, and the rest of us brood, dad becomes an elder sisters pioneers, and me and me brother were regular "publishers".

Cognitive_Dissident

Welcome Skinny! It's a great place, this. Hope to hear more from you soon.

Cog

36

praying for mass destruction and death

by Cognitive_Dissident in

so i was writing a paper the other day, specifically about the skewed world view that i had had as a witness, and i typed the following - .

pain, misery, strife, these were all things that used to prove to me that jehovah's witnesses were correct in their assessment of a dying world which was soon to be liberated/obliterated by the hand of god.

this "liberation" was something that i desperately longed for.

Cognitive_Dissident

Thanks everyone for sharing your thoughts.

I know that once I finally realized that I had been wrong, as in completely judgmentmal, hypocritical, arrogant and self-righteous, life became so much more meaningful. Because I don't have all the answers that I used to think I had, things are much less black and white, and I know I'm a more compassionate person than I used to be. That, and ironically, I'm more amazed by life and all of it's complexities now than I ever was as a Witness.

20

What are your weekend plans?

by joelbear in

jw
friends

tonight i am going for a walk with my dellpod on and listen to some tunes.. come home and watch a movie.. tomorrow, i will finish painting some little wooden animals i bought to put on stakes in the front yard.

then pottery class.. then dinner with friends at a thai restaurant.

then mitch comes home for one night of snuggling.. sunday.

Cognitive_Dissident

tonight over to a friend's house for a bonfire, and tomorrow I've actually got a date. With a real, live girl. Pretty excited about that.

Tomorrow I'm going to the Nine Inch Nails concert.......

I'm jealous.

Cog

36

praying for mass destruction and death

by Cognitive_Dissident in

so i was writing a paper the other day, specifically about the skewed world view that i had had as a witness, and i typed the following - .

pain, misery, strife, these were all things that used to prove to me that jehovah's witnesses were correct in their assessment of a dying world which was soon to be liberated/obliterated by the hand of god.

this "liberation" was something that i desperately longed for.

Cognitive_Dissident

The psychological effects of the JW system of doctrine and belief on the minds of its members is something that I hope to someday fully analyze and research, hopefully publish if all goes well. It's a completely all-consuming mind-screw. It's outrageous.

The part that shocked me about my prayer for God's Kingdom to come was that in my mind at the time, I had plenty of the unwillingness to accept that God would arbitrarily destroy billions of innocent people, but that when I prayed for God's Kingdom to come on earth, the two ideas never bumped in to eachother, at least not consciously. The belief that God's Kingdom would be established on earth existed in a different compartment within my brain, away from the one that housed the thought that God wouldn't destroy innocent people. And the separation of the two trajectories was so total that they never created any direct conflict with eachother. I completely believed both of them.

It's that type of black and white ability to hold two conflicting viewpoints at the same time, with equal conviction, that was present all the time. And ultimately it's what led to the psychological breakdown that brought me to where I'm at now, reconstructing from the ground up, I guess.

36

praying for mass destruction and death

by Cognitive_Dissident in

so i was writing a paper the other day, specifically about the skewed world view that i had had as a witness, and i typed the following - .

pain, misery, strife, these were all things that used to prove to me that jehovah's witnesses were correct in their assessment of a dying world which was soon to be liberated/obliterated by the hand of god.

this "liberation" was something that i desperately longed for.

Cognitive_Dissident

So I was writing a paper the other day, specifically about the skewed world view that I had had as a Witness, and I typed the following -

Pain, misery, strife, these were all things that used to prove to me that Jehovah's Witnesses were correct in their assessment of a dying world which was soon to be liberated/obliterated by the hand of God. This "liberation" was something that I desperately longed for. I used to pray for it.

I stopped after that sentence and reread it. It had not ever really sunk in that in praying for "the end of this system" to come, I had been praying, and hoping, for the destruction of billions and billions of people. How screwed up is that? Loving, compassionate organization my ass.

Anybody else have experiences like this, where after leaving, the full import of a previously held belief hit them over the head with a two by four?

Cog

21

unforgivable sin--sin against the holy spirit

by rebel8 in

.

is there such a thing in jw mythology?

i thought apostacy was considered unforgivable but i can't find any quotes on the topic.

Cognitive_Dissident

wow, I was just talking about this with someone about a week ago.

When I was growing up and especially after I was baptized, I used to think myself in circles, usually ending up in a horrible, debilitating fear and depression, that I might have committed the unforgivable sin. The worst thing that I remember hearing was - that no man could judge whether the unforgivable sin had been committed, elders included (though it hasn't stopped them from doing so). This might seem like something that would be relieving, but it had the opposite effect on me. As one who is prone to way too much analytic obsession as it is, it meant that if I had committed the unforgivable sin, there was no one who could tell me that I hadn't, and that no matter how much I tried to reform myself and adhere to "God's law" after the fact, I still might not make it in to the new system. Which added a whole new layer to my already bleak and hopeless view of life.

And when tied up in knots emotionally over something's implications, it's pretty difficult to see the flawed logic behind it.

Bastards.

Cognitive_Dissident

Posts by Cognitive_Dissident