Cady

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Posts by Cady

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  21

  Doubting our own intuition - reality vs. reality

  by Cady in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when someone asks about the jws, i usually find myself talking about disfellowshipping, the blood issue, the child-molestation problem.

  but looking back i think, although those are the easily explained and perhaps somewhat sensational bad things about being a jw, they're not the only things that have left their marks.

  in fact, only the disfellowshipping issue has personally affected me (although i'm not officially df'd, but of course you don't have to be to lose your friends/family).

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  Cady

  The greatest evil is the unfocusing of your own mind by relying on the opinion of others. It is a moral blindness and derelection of self.

  Your number one purpose is to discover what is true about the universe with your own eyes, ears and determined analysis of how things work by testing them against what works.

  The opinions and wishes of others are irrelevent. A pretty story does not a truth make.

  Terry,

  But we have to rely on others. We can't very well test and examine each and every supposition on which we build out lives. (Btw, sorry still red text, I can't seem to change it...) I'm in science for a living now, and that requires a great deal of trust in the ppl who came before. Everytime you take a medication you're trusting the research that went into it. Everytime you believe something somebody says about anything (friends, colleagues, etc) you're trusting someone other than yourself to tell you something about the world. I guess for me the problem seems to be that I know I have to trust ppl in some things, but that core deception that we suffered as JWs makes trust a really hard thing to manage. And I don't think I'm going to be whole again until I can trust.

  Cady
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  21

  Doubting our own intuition - reality vs. reality

  by Cady in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when someone asks about the jws, i usually find myself talking about disfellowshipping, the blood issue, the child-molestation problem.

  but looking back i think, although those are the easily explained and perhaps somewhat sensational bad things about being a jw, they're not the only things that have left their marks.

  in fact, only the disfellowshipping issue has personally affected me (although i'm not officially df'd, but of course you don't have to be to lose your friends/family).

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  Cady

  Yeah this gets to me... not just the fun I didn't have, more the important lessons I didn't learn. I really ought to be older than this. I remember being told as a kid that I was very mature, and just figured that as the years went by I remained so. Nobody said it after primary school though - and that's because witnesses are kept to an emotional age of pre-puberty - denying ourselves the right to adulthood and all the lessons that go with it. I'm so embarassed that I was such a twonk for so many years. Every day a dozen stupid things I said as a young adult make me cringe.

  Same thing for me - ppl used to say I was "6 going on 30." But now I realize I'm really rather immature emotionally. I'm not sure why we're immature emotionally - is it just not being able to make decisions for ourselves? What makes a person emotionally mature?

  It's funny b/c of late I've been feeling a bit more like other people around me. My friend and I went to his company late at night and were kicking around these big plastic balls on their soccer field in the mud (long story). But while he and his friend were both totally into it, it was a forced sillyness for me. There's always part of me that's holding back, not really able to let loose. And I feel like that a lot of times in other ways, too - like I'm watching the world around me but not really engaged in it. I do things but I've very rarely ever fully immersed w/o a part of me standing back and evaluating everything.
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  20

  Young witness disfellowshipped for having a mental illness

  by What-A-Coincidence in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this is was very hard swallow.

  i know of a family who has suffered tremendously when their son (15) came down with a mental illness - he cuts himself, has intended suicide 5 times.

  he hard a hard time dealing with so many issues that he at one point told the elders i don't want to have anything to do with the jehovah's.

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  Cady

  Good for you WAC. And I agree that a lot of JWs are on anti-depression meds, I'd say prob higher than the 25%. But you know, tell ppl they should be the happiest ppl in the world - give them a life with no choices and big surprise, it sucks - then blame them for not being happy...
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  21

  Doubting our own intuition - reality vs. reality

  by Cady in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when someone asks about the jws, i usually find myself talking about disfellowshipping, the blood issue, the child-molestation problem.

  but looking back i think, although those are the easily explained and perhaps somewhat sensational bad things about being a jw, they're not the only things that have left their marks.

  in fact, only the disfellowshipping issue has personally affected me (although i'm not officially df'd, but of course you don't have to be to lose your friends/family).

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• 

  Cady

  When someone asks about the JWs, I usually find myself talking about disfellowshipping, the blood issue, the child-molestation problem. But looking back I think, although those are the easily explained and perhaps somewhat sensational bad things about being a JW, they're not the only things that have left their marks. In fact, only the disfellowshipping issue has personally affected me (although I'm not officially df'd, but of course you don't have to be to lose your friends/family).

  What gets me even more is that I don't trust myself. We were constantly told "this is reality" when our senses and our intuition clearly said "no it's not." But of course we listed to what we were told, and learned not to listen to ourselves. For instance, being a woman. We were constantly told we were treated equally, despite being a compliment and our husbands/fathers being our heads. And now it's at times hard for me to even tell someone that as a woman I was treated as less-than, even though empirically it's quite obvious that was the case.

  And other things about the JWs that's not the sensationalized stuff but are very real - child abuse that isn't sexual. Children in the organization still have nowhere to go, no one to turn to. They've been taught not to trust outsiders, and to keep appearances up in the hall they can't tell anyone there either. You don't want anyone to know your dad did "x" b/c he might lose his position as an elder and then you'd get in trouble. There's no safety for kids.

  Then there's trying to figure life out outside of the JWs, trying to figure out the world of dating/college/etc - all the things you're not taught about, and so kind of trip and fall and stumble your way through.

  And then I just get so incredibly pi**ed and that anger doesn't seem to do any good, just makes me edgy and irritable. And it's not a common thing anymore - I've been out for four years and I'm hardly on the board anymore, but I find when things get rough I come back here for some warm words and commiseration.
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  587

  Show us your picture

  by Honesty in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  .

  that is, if you are able to without the prospect of facing a three-man kangaroo court appointed by jerhover to keep the congregation clean from apostate influences.. i'll go first: .

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  Cady

  It's a really blurry photo, but I like it anyway. Actually, the blurry thing might work in my favor, maybe that's *why* I like it!
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  23

  Slender, righteous virgin sought for marriage...

  by Cady in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  http://seattle.craigslist.org/m4w/154705055.html

  what can i even say?

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  Cady

  Maybe we should create a perfect mate for him - hey I bet some of us have photos in service clothes, that would be a good start...
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  23

  Slender, righteous virgin sought for marriage...

  by Cady in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  http://seattle.craigslist.org/m4w/154705055.html

  what can i even say?

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  Cady

  http://seattle.craigslist.org/m4w/154705055.html What can I even say?
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  9

  I'm going to an HRI conference in ENGLAND!! :-)

  by Cady in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my prof wrote me and invited me to attend this conference: http://ro-man2006.feis.herts.ac.uk/.

  i'm in absolute heaven!!

  i don't imagine i'll have much free time, but if anyone's close by maybe we could grab a drink?

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  Cady

  JV - Yeah, but you know the price of admission is working every weekend, and every night, oh and then during the week...oh yeah, you do that anyway. ;-)

  I'm doing great Brenda, how are you??

  hugs,

  c
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  9

  I'm going to an HRI conference in ENGLAND!! :-)

  by Cady in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my prof wrote me and invited me to attend this conference: http://ro-man2006.feis.herts.ac.uk/.

  i'm in absolute heaven!!

  i don't imagine i'll have much free time, but if anyone's close by maybe we could grab a drink?

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  Cady

  
  Well the conferences is only three days, and then travel time tacked on to either end. It would probably be only an evening that I'd be free. :-(

  My research is largely based off research done in a lab at the University of Hertfordshire and so my prof is also seeing if he can arrange a tour of that lab for me. I'm actually considering applying for grad school there...I suppose I might end up there for a bit longer than three days eventually! I have lots of concerns about that though. The exchange rate is horriffic, and if I have a sufficiently tough time paying my bills in Seattle I'm not thinking it's going to be easier as a student in the UK. Even a plane ticket over there to get to grad school would be tough. And then there's the fact that I just don't know how anything functions. Of course, it could also be the most incredible adventure!
• 
  9

  I'm going to an HRI conference in ENGLAND!! :-)

  by Cady in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my prof wrote me and invited me to attend this conference: http://ro-man2006.feis.herts.ac.uk/.

  i'm in absolute heaven!!

  i don't imagine i'll have much free time, but if anyone's close by maybe we could grab a drink?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Cady

  My prof wrote me and invited me to attend this conference: http://ro-man2006.feis.herts.ac.uk/

  I'm in absolute heaven!! I don't imagine I'll have much free time, but if anyone's close by maybe we could grab a drink?