Posts by Christina77

66

Interfaith Relationship

by Christina77 in

i am currently involved in a relationship for the last year and a half with a man that i found out about 2 months ago is a jehovahs witness (and i am catholic).

the only reason why i found this out, was that i was pushing the issue as to why his parents do not know that i exist.

this really irritated me since he has a very close relationship with his parents.

The reason is that I fell in love with a man that I thought had no religious affiliations. He was someone that loved me back unconditionally, someone that was very careing, someone that looked at me for who I was and didn't hurt me. I had no clue that he was a witness. And believe me, if he doesn't take matters into his own hands very soon, I will leave him. And that will be very hard for me to do. I can understand why he is a weasel, and it makes me annoyed. But I did forgive him. You are just being accurate, I don't take it as being unkind. I am not here for anyone to be kind to me. I take whatever I am given (yet the "whore" comment from larc wasn't very nice).

66

Interfaith Relationship

by Christina77 in

i am currently involved in a relationship for the last year and a half with a man that i found out about 2 months ago is a jehovahs witness (and i am catholic).

the only reason why i found this out, was that i was pushing the issue as to why his parents do not know that i exist.

this really irritated me since he has a very close relationship with his parents.

Christina77

And also... What would happen if I was to get pregnant by him? Especially before we get married? He said it was bad, but how bad? We only rely upon my pills and they aren't 100% effective on preventing pregnancy.

Even though it is bad in my religion, my priest even visited me in the hospital when I had my daughter and was so happy that I didn't get an abortion. Nothing was even mentioned that I had sinned, just as long as I raised my daughter in the faith and got her baptized ASAP.

66

Interfaith Relationship

by Christina77 in

i am currently involved in a relationship for the last year and a half with a man that i found out about 2 months ago is a jehovahs witness (and i am catholic).

the only reason why i found this out, was that i was pushing the issue as to why his parents do not know that i exist.

this really irritated me since he has a very close relationship with his parents.

Christina77

Well I finally did it, I gave him the letter that I wrote this morning. It really hurt and my heart felt like it was going to leap out of my chest, but it is done. And again he still did the "I don't know" crap. It has been 2 months and I expected him to be able to figure out what I needed to know and it just confirmed that he is too scared to look into what I need answered. I did find out that he is baptized, does go door-to-door and really does believe it as true. (Yet then why would he be with me and breaking those beliefs) He aslo said that he leaves the literature out in the open to remind himself about what he has to do, and that it is not for me. That he isn't pushing anything on me, and he isn't planning on converting me that it is a long and tedious process that can't be done quickly. He keeps saying that he thought that the problems would work itself out, but if he doesn't act upon anything... how can it. He said that I can read some of their books to explain it. That doesn't help, I told him that they are confusing and that I had already read books on the subject. He said that they weren't from the organization and wouldn't be true. So he said that we would watch videos together the next time I came over (that is just going to be weird). He also started to say that he can show me where the scriptures tell the truth and I didn't want that. I don't want to discuss scripture, for I believe what I think is true and the same with him. I don't want to argue over the matter, because that is the only thing that it will lead to. Obviously he can't explain it to me, which I want him to. I told him that he has to come clean, that it has been too long without his family knowing about me. I really don't think the letter helped the situation, but at least it got my feelings out in the open and hopefully he will do the right thing.

66

Interfaith Relationship

by Christina77 in

i am currently involved in a relationship for the last year and a half with a man that i found out about 2 months ago is a jehovahs witness (and i am catholic).

the only reason why i found this out, was that i was pushing the issue as to why his parents do not know that i exist.

this really irritated me since he has a very close relationship with his parents.

Christina77

Again I want to thank all of you for helping me in this situation, and to add to his involvement he attends the meetings on Tuesday and Thursday nights, Sunday morning, and does some sort of Bible study on Sunday afternoon. So, I would think that this is pretty active. When we first started dating I really didn't think twice about the fact that he was out of the house. I just figured he was watching the game or something with his father. For months we went out on Tuesday nights until recently. So this really startled me that he gave up his meetings when I asked him to go out to dinner and we did this every Tuesday. It is just weird.

66

Interfaith Relationship

by Christina77 in

i am currently involved in a relationship for the last year and a half with a man that i found out about 2 months ago is a jehovahs witness (and i am catholic).

the only reason why i found this out, was that i was pushing the issue as to why his parents do not know that i exist.

this really irritated me since he has a very close relationship with his parents.

Christina77

That is a very good analogy, as to how I feel. That no matter how much information I get, I am still confused and will have a hard time understanding it. I really am a Virgin so to speak, that is trapped inside my chastity belt and no one has the key. Well, since I can't seem to talk to him about it, I wrote a letter about how I feel (all of 5 pages) and hopefully I will get up enough courage to give it to him. And hopefully this will get the heavey weight off of my chest, that is starting to suffocate me.

Another question that I have is does anyone know anyone that has actually married a non-witness and not been disfellowshiped? I had found another message board that supposably was of experts of all sorts. There was a guy that was Catholic and his wife is a Witness, I asked him how he was able to be married and he just told me to ask my spiritual advisor. So he was of no help. I just need a little more information as to whether this can be true or not. I feel as if I need to help my boyfriend with this, so that he knows that there is a possibility out there for us. He seems as if he is too scared to find out the information for himself.

66

Interfaith Relationship

by Christina77 in

i am currently involved in a relationship for the last year and a half with a man that i found out about 2 months ago is a jehovahs witness (and i am catholic).

the only reason why i found this out, was that i was pushing the issue as to why his parents do not know that i exist.

this really irritated me since he has a very close relationship with his parents.

Christina77

As far as I know, his parents had converted into the religion at some point. I don't know if it was before he was born or if it was after, and he doesn't know either. I know he is scared, as am I. His brother and sister have both married other Jehovahs Witnnesses, which makes the situation worse. He has revieled to me that he doesn't get along with a good amount of his extended family, and they I believe are still Catholic. The majority of his friends are Jehovahs Witnesses as well. Yet the ones that are not, I have been introduced to, although they are far few less than those that I have a feeling are. I thought something was weird when I accidentally left something for my hair at his apartment, and he hid them when the guys were coming over. And the only one of these guys that I accidentally met momentarilly when I first met my boyfriend, gave me the dirtiest look. And that would explain why he wouldn't want any of those friends knowing about me.

The thing I don't understand is that he is very touchy in public... we hold hands, he tries to sneak a kiss as often as possible, etc, etc, etc. If there are so many with his beliefs out there (yet he supposably knows a lot of them) how or why would he do this? That possibly could see him acting wrong with a worldly person.

I am not going to tell him to leave, I just want him to admit to his family that I exist and face reality. I know that if they know about me he would be persecuted in his community. And how his family will disaprove and make him the black sheep of the family so to speak. This is going to have to come out, and I really want him to come clean and admit his feelings to his family. I am going to be his wife and it isn't going to go away that I am worldly.

And as to converting and him leaving, if he had actually finished those statements I would totally understand. Since he didn't that is what makes me so nuts about all of this. And I am too scared to bring it up. I have seen him ever day this weekend and tried and tried, but I just couldn't get up the nerve. He could tell that there was something bothering me and I just couldn't let it out. I let him know that it bothered me that I can't just call up his mother and asked her how to prepare his favorite dishes. I want to be able to bond with her and I can't.

66

Interfaith Relationship

by Christina77 in

i am currently involved in a relationship for the last year and a half with a man that i found out about 2 months ago is a jehovahs witness (and i am catholic).

the only reason why i found this out, was that i was pushing the issue as to why his parents do not know that i exist.

this really irritated me since he has a very close relationship with his parents.

Christina77

About the point that sixofnine brought up... when he met me he was thinking about getting out of it and then... he dropped off what he was saying. He did the same thing when I asked him why didn't he try to convert me. That is the biggest thing I have always known about them is that they believe that they should convert as many as possible into their faith... and he just said that he thought about it, but... and dropped it again. He said that everyone is asking if he is doing ok, and he says yes. He isn't doing fine... he is doing me!!! and that is wrong for him to say that everything is ok. Hopefully he will decide to follow in the direction of his heart that he did feel at one time, and face reality. He needs to act upon what he feels is right and what he must do if he wants to be with me.

And to larc, I know I am wrong and admit that I have sinned. Yet I am also human and have human desires that are very hard to ignore. I am not persecuted for my sins beyoned confession and my conscience. I would never cast the first or any stone to anyone that has sinned. I have not hurt anyone, killed anyone, stolen anything, I don't do drugs, smoke or drink. There are worse things in the world to possibly have done. Enjoying the closeness of another human being is being human. There are probably many out in the world that have hid this fact to others and continue to do so. I follow my religion to the best of my ability, I don't agree with all of their beliefs. But I try to follow it and understand my faults.

Spider, thank you. Even though you don't think it is good advice, it really is. It gives me some idea as to what is bouncing around in his head. It is the reality that many face when things are conflicting. Another fact is that I am not his first worldly girlfriend, and they knew about her and disliked her. Now, I know why. Yet, he won't share any of the situation with me so that I would be prepared to what I am going to be faced with. From his past I don't know how he has been able to continue in his faith and I can see where his heart and desires really direct him. Hopefully he will soon realize this as well. And I wouldn't be able to be crewl enough to him, to disfellowship him in any way. He really is very important to my life and I want to spend the rest of it with him.

66

Interfaith Relationship

by Christina77 in

i am currently involved in a relationship for the last year and a half with a man that i found out about 2 months ago is a jehovahs witness (and i am catholic).

the only reason why i found this out, was that i was pushing the issue as to why his parents do not know that i exist.

this really irritated me since he has a very close relationship with his parents.

Christina77

I was totally ready to talk to him last night, and for some reason I can't get up the nerve. It is just weird and I am so scared of losing him. I want to know the truth but I just can't seem to bring it up. He knew that there was something wrong, but I just couldn't tell him. If I did I felt like I would burst into tears again. I really don't know how long it can last like this, and he just acts like there is nothing wrong. My heart is just being torn apart. I was even debating on whether or not to go visit him. I am such a procrastinator, yet it is me that is bothered by this. He is having his fun at my expense. I am just so scared.

66

Interfaith Relationship

by Christina77 in

i am currently involved in a relationship for the last year and a half with a man that i found out about 2 months ago is a jehovahs witness (and i am catholic).

the only reason why i found this out, was that i was pushing the issue as to why his parents do not know that i exist.

this really irritated me since he has a very close relationship with his parents.

Christina77

To give a little more info in response to your post, I am a fully practicing Catholic... attend mass EVERY Sunday and holidays, have received all my sacrements up to confirmation and am raising my daughter in my faith as well. And since I have been enlightened, I have not been able to read enough on the subject to figure it out for myself, so that I get some backround on his beliefs. Dispite this I can not make any sense out of it, and becoming more and more confused, which only adds to the fact that our relationship is WRONG!!! I don't know what to believe and what to think about how our present and future can exist. I do love him very much, but now that it is out in the open it is as if he is free to discuss anything he wants and it freaks me out a little. All the books, watchtower, and awake are now lying around his apartment, especially bothersome the ones that are next to the bed that we share togehter. It is as if he has a split personality at times. He even used to miss the Tuesday meetings, so we could go out to dinner and now he is running a bible study on Sunday afternoons??? I try and not think about it when we are together yet, I can't get it out of my head that I am corrupting him. Even though it is mutual, I will be blamed for leading him astray. He has done this on his own free will and now seems guilty about it in some ways. It confuses me more that he wants to be with me every night and can't wait to see me again, constantly asking if I will be coming over today, the next and so on. I make time for him, and then he ends up having to spend more and more time trying to make himself look like and outstanding member of their community. The whole situation is just too weird, and I really want my old boyfriend back and the way things were before. It really hurts. I wish that he would just come clean.

66

Interfaith Relationship

by Christina77 in

i am currently involved in a relationship for the last year and a half with a man that i found out about 2 months ago is a jehovahs witness (and i am catholic).

the only reason why i found this out, was that i was pushing the issue as to why his parents do not know that i exist.

this really irritated me since he has a very close relationship with his parents.

Christina77

I am currently involved in a relationship for the last year and a half with a man that I found out about 2 months ago is a Jehovahs Witness (and I am Catholic). The only reason why I found this out, was that I was pushing the issue as to why his parents do not know that I exist. This really irritated me since he has a very close relationship with his parents. We have spoke about getting married in a few years (and even looked at rings). When I found out about his beliefs, I asked him if he still wanted me as his wife, and he said yes. I read the post began by Sophie, and it was very helpful, although mine has a little twist on it.

You see we have been very intimately involved with eachother. When I found out he said that we had to stop having sex??? and I couldn't tell his parents what we are doing??? I got very angry at him at this comment, and it shouldn't change anything just because I know of his beliefs. He is the one that is wrong for not sharing this with me and should never began it in the first place. Yet he said that if he had told me, he feared that I would leave him, due to my beliefs. I said no and he is willing to work things out. I don't plan on converting, and am not pressuring him to convert or leave his beliefs. I just need to know if we can possibly co-exist without changing anything?

Yet nothing has happened since this and I don't know what to do. Every question I ask him he just replies "I don't know".

What will happen when his parents find out about me? How will I be treated? as well as our future children? What will happen if we were to get married?

I am just so frustrated because I really don't know much about his beliefs and he has been so closed since he let me know. I really want to spend the rest of my life with him as does he. We both hate being away from eachother and I really, truly do love him. I don't know what to do, and I really want him to come clean to his parents before any more time passes. I think it will get worse the longer he waits.

Thank you, any advice will be greatly appreciated.
Christina