Thank you Angela, and I do agree with you on the respect part... I respect all for their beliefs, no matter what they are. That is going to be the hardest part for me to deal with, in the fact that we totally have been brought up on different beliefs. He is worried about raising my daughter in a family with 2 different belief systems. Yet he adores her very much, and is better with her then her own father. It will also come into an even bigger problem when we decide to have our own children, which I desperately want. Facing his family in that matter will be horrible.
Christina77
JoinedPosts by Christina77
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66
Interfaith Relationship
by Christina77 ini am currently involved in a relationship for the last year and a half with a man that i found out about 2 months ago is a jehovahs witness (and i am catholic).
the only reason why i found this out, was that i was pushing the issue as to why his parents do not know that i exist.
this really irritated me since he has a very close relationship with his parents.
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12
HELP-tempted beyond my willpower
by Pierced Angel insomeone tell me quick how wrong and stupid i am to even think about cheating on my husband.. i've met someone that has swept me off my feet and with my newfound freedom from leaving the borg, i feel like i'm going through a mid-life crisis or something.
i'm very tempted to have an affair.
i mean, extremely tempted.
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Christina77
Anne-
Don't feel bad about my feelings... this happened 6 years ago, and I am over it, able to discuss it, and a stronger woman because of it.
Your husband is happy that you are away from the witnesses, well you have something to work with. Use that happieness to survive, and improve your relationship. Find where the sparks are still glowing and bring them into a blazing fire. The worst thing for you kids is seeing a horrible relationship between their parents. And as I said, you found that love once, you can find it again. Find things to do as a family, something that is fun that can take your mind off of what you are trying to deal with.
I am glad that I could help.
Christina -
66
Interfaith Relationship
by Christina77 ini am currently involved in a relationship for the last year and a half with a man that i found out about 2 months ago is a jehovahs witness (and i am catholic).
the only reason why i found this out, was that i was pushing the issue as to why his parents do not know that i exist.
this really irritated me since he has a very close relationship with his parents.
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Christina77
Spider, that is the thing... I had the real him for a long time, and only the real him. While things died down lately I somewhat had the real him again until I brought it up. Yet all I can think about is his witness side, when is it going to take over all of his actions? Which I think he intended to do when he finally told me. His witness side is very pre-programed, and I don't like that. I want him to tell me from what he knows, not from what the scripture says. I cringe thinking about watching those videos. I want him to tell it like I was a six year old. Hopefully he will see it in his heart to do that for me. He really is getting more involved which doesn't make sense and I really do think I am going to loose him because of it.
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12
HELP-tempted beyond my willpower
by Pierced Angel insomeone tell me quick how wrong and stupid i am to even think about cheating on my husband.. i've met someone that has swept me off my feet and with my newfound freedom from leaving the borg, i feel like i'm going through a mid-life crisis or something.
i'm very tempted to have an affair.
i mean, extremely tempted.
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Christina77
Well I have never cheated on anyone, nor will I ever. I have thought about it but only momentarily, but couldn't live with myself if I ever did. I would break off my relationship with whoever I am with prior to my infidelity, if it came down to me cheating on them. While I was pregnant with my daughter, my ex asked me if he could have permission to sleep with someone esle, because he was afraid of hurting me. I wanted to be intimate with him and that really hurt that he wouldn't touch me. Him just wanting to be selfish was horrible, and made me a nutcase. Nine months after I had my daughter, I found out that he was sleeping with his ex-girlfriend behind my back during my pregnancy and continued to do so. He risked giving me a STD, for his ex-girlfriend bragged that she had slept with 16 guys during her first month away at college. I only found about his cheating after one of his friends sexually assaulted me and he didn't care when I told him. And then to top it off, I had a miscarriage 2 weeks later. I can never trust this man with anything not now, or ever. His only reply is that I f..... up by cheating on you, he never told me that he was sorry. If I ever cheated on someone I could never live with myself. My conscience would take over my every action and always in my thought as to how I acted. I would never even be able to look at my significant other in the face again. I could't let anyone feel the same way that I did. No matter how bad the situation is, cheating doesn't make it better, only worse. No matter how happy this man makes you, it won't last. There was a reason why you married your husband, there had to be some happiness at some point. Try and find it again if you can, or leave him. You will be better off in the long run. If you cheat on him you will be the bad one. Don't let that happen.
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66
Interfaith Relationship
by Christina77 ini am currently involved in a relationship for the last year and a half with a man that i found out about 2 months ago is a jehovahs witness (and i am catholic).
the only reason why i found this out, was that i was pushing the issue as to why his parents do not know that i exist.
this really irritated me since he has a very close relationship with his parents.
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Christina77
SixofNine -
The reason is that I fell in love with a man that I thought had no religious affiliations. He was someone that loved me back unconditionally, someone that was very careing, someone that looked at me for who I was and didn't hurt me. I had no clue that he was a witness. And believe me, if he doesn't take matters into his own hands very soon, I will leave him. And that will be very hard for me to do. I can understand why he is a weasel, and it makes me annoyed. But I did forgive him. You are just being accurate, I don't take it as being unkind. I am not here for anyone to be kind to me. I take whatever I am given (yet the "whore" comment from larc wasn't very nice).
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66
Interfaith Relationship
by Christina77 ini am currently involved in a relationship for the last year and a half with a man that i found out about 2 months ago is a jehovahs witness (and i am catholic).
the only reason why i found this out, was that i was pushing the issue as to why his parents do not know that i exist.
this really irritated me since he has a very close relationship with his parents.
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Christina77
And also... What would happen if I was to get pregnant by him? Especially before we get married? He said it was bad, but how bad? We only rely upon my pills and they aren't 100% effective on preventing pregnancy.
Even though it is bad in my religion, my priest even visited me in the hospital when I had my daughter and was so happy that I didn't get an abortion. Nothing was even mentioned that I had sinned, just as long as I raised my daughter in the faith and got her baptized ASAP.
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66
Interfaith Relationship
by Christina77 ini am currently involved in a relationship for the last year and a half with a man that i found out about 2 months ago is a jehovahs witness (and i am catholic).
the only reason why i found this out, was that i was pushing the issue as to why his parents do not know that i exist.
this really irritated me since he has a very close relationship with his parents.
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Christina77
Well I finally did it, I gave him the letter that I wrote this morning. It really hurt and my heart felt like it was going to leap out of my chest, but it is done. And again he still did the "I don't know" crap. It has been 2 months and I expected him to be able to figure out what I needed to know and it just confirmed that he is too scared to look into what I need answered. I did find out that he is baptized, does go door-to-door and really does believe it as true. (Yet then why would he be with me and breaking those beliefs) He aslo said that he leaves the literature out in the open to remind himself about what he has to do, and that it is not for me. That he isn't pushing anything on me, and he isn't planning on converting me that it is a long and tedious process that can't be done quickly. He keeps saying that he thought that the problems would work itself out, but if he doesn't act upon anything... how can it. He said that I can read some of their books to explain it. That doesn't help, I told him that they are confusing and that I had already read books on the subject. He said that they weren't from the organization and wouldn't be true. So he said that we would watch videos together the next time I came over (that is just going to be weird). He also started to say that he can show me where the scriptures tell the truth and I didn't want that. I don't want to discuss scripture, for I believe what I think is true and the same with him. I don't want to argue over the matter, because that is the only thing that it will lead to. Obviously he can't explain it to me, which I want him to. I told him that he has to come clean, that it has been too long without his family knowing about me. I really don't think the letter helped the situation, but at least it got my feelings out in the open and hopefully he will do the right thing.
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66
Interfaith Relationship
by Christina77 ini am currently involved in a relationship for the last year and a half with a man that i found out about 2 months ago is a jehovahs witness (and i am catholic).
the only reason why i found this out, was that i was pushing the issue as to why his parents do not know that i exist.
this really irritated me since he has a very close relationship with his parents.
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Christina77
Again I want to thank all of you for helping me in this situation, and to add to his involvement he attends the meetings on Tuesday and Thursday nights, Sunday morning, and does some sort of Bible study on Sunday afternoon. So, I would think that this is pretty active. When we first started dating I really didn't think twice about the fact that he was out of the house. I just figured he was watching the game or something with his father. For months we went out on Tuesday nights until recently. So this really startled me that he gave up his meetings when I asked him to go out to dinner and we did this every Tuesday. It is just weird.
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66
Interfaith Relationship
by Christina77 ini am currently involved in a relationship for the last year and a half with a man that i found out about 2 months ago is a jehovahs witness (and i am catholic).
the only reason why i found this out, was that i was pushing the issue as to why his parents do not know that i exist.
this really irritated me since he has a very close relationship with his parents.
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Christina77
That is a very good analogy, as to how I feel. That no matter how much information I get, I am still confused and will have a hard time understanding it. I really am a Virgin so to speak, that is trapped inside my chastity belt and no one has the key. Well, since I can't seem to talk to him about it, I wrote a letter about how I feel (all of 5 pages) and hopefully I will get up enough courage to give it to him. And hopefully this will get the heavey weight off of my chest, that is starting to suffocate me.
Another question that I have is does anyone know anyone that has actually married a non-witness and not been disfellowshiped? I had found another message board that supposably was of experts of all sorts. There was a guy that was Catholic and his wife is a Witness, I asked him how he was able to be married and he just told me to ask my spiritual advisor. So he was of no help. I just need a little more information as to whether this can be true or not. I feel as if I need to help my boyfriend with this, so that he knows that there is a possibility out there for us. He seems as if he is too scared to find out the information for himself.
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66
Interfaith Relationship
by Christina77 ini am currently involved in a relationship for the last year and a half with a man that i found out about 2 months ago is a jehovahs witness (and i am catholic).
the only reason why i found this out, was that i was pushing the issue as to why his parents do not know that i exist.
this really irritated me since he has a very close relationship with his parents.
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Christina77
As far as I know, his parents had converted into the religion at some point. I don't know if it was before he was born or if it was after, and he doesn't know either. I know he is scared, as am I. His brother and sister have both married other Jehovahs Witnnesses, which makes the situation worse. He has revieled to me that he doesn't get along with a good amount of his extended family, and they I believe are still Catholic. The majority of his friends are Jehovahs Witnesses as well. Yet the ones that are not, I have been introduced to, although they are far few less than those that I have a feeling are. I thought something was weird when I accidentally left something for my hair at his apartment, and he hid them when the guys were coming over. And the only one of these guys that I accidentally met momentarilly when I first met my boyfriend, gave me the dirtiest look. And that would explain why he wouldn't want any of those friends knowing about me.
The thing I don't understand is that he is very touchy in public... we hold hands, he tries to sneak a kiss as often as possible, etc, etc, etc. If there are so many with his beliefs out there (yet he supposably knows a lot of them) how or why would he do this? That possibly could see him acting wrong with a worldly person.
I am not going to tell him to leave, I just want him to admit to his family that I exist and face reality. I know that if they know about me he would be persecuted in his community. And how his family will disaprove and make him the black sheep of the family so to speak. This is going to have to come out, and I really want him to come clean and admit his feelings to his family. I am going to be his wife and it isn't going to go away that I am worldly.
And as to converting and him leaving, if he had actually finished those statements I would totally understand. Since he didn't that is what makes me so nuts about all of this. And I am too scared to bring it up. I have seen him ever day this weekend and tried and tried, but I just couldn't get up the nerve. He could tell that there was something bothering me and I just couldn't let it out. I let him know that it bothered me that I can't just call up his mother and asked her how to prepare his favorite dishes. I want to be able to bond with her and I can't.