no, i'm not gay.
still, this story is interesting.
recently i began dating a very fine young lady -- my first "girlfriend" ever, really.
This made me appreciate what a hard time GLBT folk have in the world. My mother could stand me rejecting her god but she would not tolerate me if I got off on men. There's just something wrong with that.
Thank-you, most of my family is dyed in the wool jdubs. They shun me as if I don't exist unless they want something.
Chris
hallo everyone.
the earlier thread about the min school reminded me of the number of times that i researched and at least partly put together items and pub talks for 'he must be obeyed'.. this was necessary because he worked full time in a demanding job which left very little leeway for cobbling the many assignments together.
at first being a good dub wife i felt guilty at doing this but in talking to others whose husbands also worked full time and were not part time cleaners or window cleaners i found that several other elders wives had always done this.. not only the talks but also sorting out the school assigments, the schedules, field service arrangements, sorting the auditing, coach and accomodation for the dc and ca, checking the accounts etc.. lots of these sisters also helped their children put together their items.. rather makes a mockery of the male privilege of "taking the lead".. most elders and ms are unable to cope with all the pressures and work if their wives dont do most for them.
When I was about 12 or 13, in the sixties, I gave, I mean read, a no. five talk my mother had written. (It was a very small cong which explains why i was giving no. five talks.) The circuit guy was there that week and he told my mother he could tell she'd written the talk and that she shouldn't do it anymore. I don't remember anything about the talk except that she'd used the phrase "sex crazed world." That must have been what tipped off the circuit guy. What 12 year old would have come up with that phrase? Of course, she probably got it out of the WT.
On the education topic: I lived and was a dub in the Olympia WA area from 1968 until 1992. During that time I wasn't aware of a single young person going to college. Everyong had a very negative attitude toward education. Many didn't even graduate from high school. I can remember one young "sister" who went to communtiy college to become a dental hygienist. She was an elder's daughter and pioneered while going to achool.
Most of the elders were in construction. Some barely made a living and others did very well. All depended on the business sense I guess. One elder who was very successful was able to loan the cong $60,000 to build a new hall while waiting for the loan from the society. Since I was the account "servant" he felt he had to give me some explanation as to why he had so much moeny. I didn't ask, but he told me it was his operating funds.
i was 13 at the time.
i wanted to get baptised before the end came in 1975. .
back then, 13 was borderline young for baptism, but from what i've been reading, some are now getting baptised as young as 9 or 10. .
12.
remember back to the days you were in the theocratic school and had to give talks, were they the worst or what, i remember they were suppose to run about 6-8 minutes, i had some short as 3. the talks were pointless, you would just throw some mumble jumble together and go up and talk, first the introduction (and don't forget your gestures), then read the weekly scripture and then the conclusion, all your words of wisdom.
i would rank this second on the worst list next to field service (still # 1).. how about you, did you enjoy doing them ?
did you even prepare for them ?
A dear kind older brother was appointed misnisterial servant the same time I was about 1980. We both gave instruction talks and parts on the service meeting. The elders were always telling me I wasn't enthusiastic enough. The older brother spoke from his heart and gave talks everyone enjoyed. The elders criticized him even more than me because they didn't like his style. In fact, they criticized him so much he resigned as a MS. There was no pleasing those elders.
may you all have peace!
when i was sent to speak to ones and they came back asking me why it is that we hear and they do not, i had taken it before my lord to ask him.
this is what he told me, their hearts are hard and they do not wish to hear what i tell them.
Silverlead, well said. I'm afraid the god squad is going to be offended by such straight forward logic.
.
are the jws to be counted as a "christian religion?
bradley
Yes, JW's are Christian. However, I believe christianity is just another form of religion and that all religions is false.
are right fess up people.
how many of us went in field service and placed literature without even opening the covers ?, let alone reading the articles.. how about following up on a return visit for a magazine you never read ?.
i have to admit, i did it many many times.. maybe we should of went into the used car business.
I usually read them, but I didn't remember what they said since they were so boring.
i feel the need to express how i feel and felt about my life as a gay man.
i was brought up from birth as a jehovahs witness.
this has played a major part in my life and it has been a real struggle to get past.
Josh, your story brought back many memories. I, too, am gay and have known it ever since I can remember. When I turned 11 there was no doubt in my mind why I always knew that I was different. I also withdrew into myself to such an extent that I often couldn't respond if someone spoke to me. I couldn't make friends. My whole life was shame, guilt and fear that someone would find out. Also the guilt over masturbation was totally disabling. I vacation pioneered one summer as they called it in those days . Everytime I went to a door the thought went through my mind that I was an evil sinner and that Jehovah did even want me to be pioneering. I prayed and prayed but had the same experience you had. Jehavah just didn't seem to care. Still I tried to do the right thing. I was lucky enough to have someone to talk to that didn't condemn me, but the guilt never went away. I felt the need to continually confess that I was gay. If I quit masterbating for a week or two I'd start to feel even guiltier over being gay. There didn't seem to be any way I could win. I thought about the scripture that said 'If a righteous man is being saved dificulty how will a sinner make a showing?' I knew I was no good. When I got to be about 20 I did talk to the elders about being gay and about masturbation, and although they never told others in the congregation they weren't very helpful. They told me getting married would "cure" me. What a disaster. I really glad you didn't go through that.
After being married for several years and constantly talking to the elders about my problems I went to a psyciatrist and he prescriped anti-depressants. Although they helped I got to the point where I couldn't take it any longer and left my wife and the borg. I was 42 and that was eleven years ago. I don't think I'll ever heal from all the years of trying to be someone I'm not. I'm glad you left while you're still young. My life is much better now, but I think I'll be taking Prozac for the rest of my life.
I told my mother I was gay when I separated from my wife. She said: "Ever since you were just little I thought there was something wrong with you." When I left the borg she told me she'd never wanted to see or speak to me again.
I'm glad you're doing well and hope you're life continues to be happy. Thanks for sharing your pain. Chris
i can honestly say i never trusted the elders in my congregation; there wasnt a single one of them that i thought would be of any use what-so-ever in helping with a problem.
on the contrary, whenever i had to speak to an elder, i invariably felt worse afterwards!.
this brings me to the point of this post.
My former wife talked to the district overseer about a problem she was having. He told her to talk to brother so and so in a neighboring congregation because most elders tell their wives too much, but this particular elder didn't, according to the DO.
just curious.
i get the impression from reading posts that a great deal are.
i also noticed while i was studying with them that virtually everybody has/had a relative that was disfellowshipped or knew someone who is/was.
df'd
