Posts by MrsBee

39

I have alot of questions

by MrsBee in

my husband is a d'fed jw and i think he is gonna try and make his way back there .

they dont believe in fate?

(long story short, we were high school sweethearts, didnt see each other since xmas 1993 even though we lived in the same city then he ran into my mother xmas 2003, while i lived in charlotte and he was here in maryland, i moved back to maryland 3 weeks later and we were married 7 months after that- i believe in fate, i dont think its far fetched to believe that god has a plan for everyone).

MrsBee

Thanks CYP for all of your assistance, and I copied that letter JIC I might need it one day

I give him the benefit of the doubt, because he mentions the KH, I get thrown off edge because throughout my life I have run into all kinds of JW's and even alot of formers are a little loco, and I have seen what growing up on a JW household can do.. He just gets on this moral high horse sometimes that makes me nervous . I mentioned before that I love my husband with everything inside of me , I am willing to allow him the time to better his relationship with GOD, because that is his job, there is nothing I can do for his salvation and nothing he can do for mine.. BUT as soon as I feel seperation in my household, I will address it and he will have to deal with it. I have a couple of people I have talked to about the situation in the past and they all know our relationship, and they dont think that he will let anything come in between us, because I mean he really loves me and I know it. Thats one thing I keep close to me..But I am NOT the type to stick around and be beat up (mentally, spiritually or emotionally) .

The only time he got mad at me in regards to that crap is when he said the only way GOD approves divorce is in the case of adultery and I said what if a woman is getting beat up, and he got angry.. I told him he will be alright and we changed the subject....

Let me see if I can answer some of your questions CYP

1. What door did he come through

His Former GF who was Dfed as a teenager, he wanted to marry her she wanted to get reinstated first, then wanted him to get baptised then wanted him to be a Ministers Servant , then a Pioneer.. She was playin him..anyways, he also never really had any friends, no male role models growing up, and didnt have a job, or car, was doing pretty bad for himself, so you know he was a prime canidate at the time.

2. What issues do you care about regarding the dubs

Blood Transfusions, Holidays, Time away from family (especially since I cant understand how he could listen to them talk about everyone not a JW being killed at armegeddon and not think of me differently) They are just looney to me.. they make me laugh, I make fun of them (not in front of him though...) .. He always says that they made him a better person, and I can believe that, but Im an independent thinking, free soul, I do what I want and Im not about to follow a bunch of people..THEY ARE PEOPLE, they are no better than me!!! I shouldnt have to prove to any PERSON whether or not Im worthy and that JMPO on it...

I noticed you didn't comment on the questions I recommended. Do you think they won't work in your case? Don't worry, you won't hurt my feelings. The difficult part for a ubm critiquer is that there is just so darn much we don't know about your relationship or where things are from a perspective of timing.

Im still researching alot of stuff, plus I mean he hasnt even gone to ONE meeting since we have been married, Im just loading my guns because he will go back eventually and before he starts gettting all Zombie and everything I want to just be prepared so I can TRY and nip it in the BUD, beause honestly if I knew he would go back to be a witness, I wouldnt have married him, even as much as I love him..

39

I have alot of questions

by MrsBee in

my husband is a d'fed jw and i think he is gonna try and make his way back there .

they dont believe in fate?

(long story short, we were high school sweethearts, didnt see each other since xmas 1993 even though we lived in the same city then he ran into my mother xmas 2003, while i lived in charlotte and he was here in maryland, i moved back to maryland 3 weeks later and we were married 7 months after that- i believe in fate, i dont think its far fetched to believe that god has a plan for everyone).

MrsBee

Gah, if he hasn't gone back yet, now's the time! Encourage him to join a club of some kind. Rent movies like Matrix and Stepford Wives. Bring home 1984 from the library. He KNOWS about the hypocricy, he just doesn't realize it's more than skin deep.

We watch movies like that, we own all the Matrix movies.. The only movies he wont watch are horror flicks, with Emily Rose etc.. I dont really blame him on those though..LOOLOLOL

39

I have alot of questions

by MrsBee in

my husband is a d'fed jw and i think he is gonna try and make his way back there .

they dont believe in fate?

(long story short, we were high school sweethearts, didnt see each other since xmas 1993 even though we lived in the same city then he ran into my mother xmas 2003, while i lived in charlotte and he was here in maryland, i moved back to maryland 3 weeks later and we were married 7 months after that- i believe in fate, i dont think its far fetched to believe that god has a plan for everyone).

MrsBee

MrsBee....I didn't read all the posts so bare with me...'Crisis of Conscience' is a great book and so is Ray's other book 'In Search of Christian Freedom'!
I ONLY felt guilty UNTILL I found out it was all a 'LIE'! Does your husband know about the UN scandal and that the year 1914 is a lie?
If he knew the truth about the 'truth' it would help him!

I think that if I start pullin stuff like that out of nowhere he will think that satan has control of my mind and that will push him close..I am giving him information under the guise that I am researching the history of religion..Which I am..He is a VERY intelligent man, he can talk about anything especially how bad other religions are, and I think we agree on alot of things..But I am starting to throw little comments at him. We will see how this works out in the next couple of weeks..AFTER I give birth... Which is soon I hope

39

I have alot of questions

by MrsBee in

my husband is a d'fed jw and i think he is gonna try and make his way back there .

they dont believe in fate?

(long story short, we were high school sweethearts, didnt see each other since xmas 1993 even though we lived in the same city then he ran into my mother xmas 2003, while i lived in charlotte and he was here in maryland, i moved back to maryland 3 weeks later and we were married 7 months after that- i believe in fate, i dont think its far fetched to believe that god has a plan for everyone).

MrsBee

Mrs. Bee, I've seen you around, so I was pretty sure you were up on my history. I am a non-JW Christian Sunday School Teacher married to a JW. He's a sweet, sincere, bumbling man who got sucked in all the way before I got smart about the society. Now, when he is starting to have doubts, they tell him he's "invested too much" to walk away. They have him coming and going.
That's why I'd love to see you nip this one in the bud. Carefully. It'll save you years of anguish.

Thanks Jgnat.. I try and throw little subliminals at him to see where his mind is at..I.e. I mentioned today that If something were to go awry with the delivery of our son (Lord Forbid) that Being as though I am not against any medical procedure, they should do whatever they can to save my life. He said he is not against any medical procedures either.. So I mean he gives me hope, but I know that may change if he gets back into going to the KH.. If I hadnt known so many people messed up by this reliigion I might have been more open minded.. Well, Probably not, Im waaaaaay to suspicious of people trying to be too nice or think they are right about everything... LOLOL

I told him I will always worry that he will become a bible quoting , egotistical maniac, and I will always fear that until he proves me wrong. I havent gotten around to repeating that I WILL NOT ALLOW MY SON TO BE RAISED IN THAT RELIGION.. I believe that children need to be taught at their level and shutting down their imagination is child abuse ..When my husband told me that he wouldnt buy his son (from a previous relationship) Harry Potter because something wizardry and it took everything inside of me not to bust out laughing at that. I mean do these people have fun doing anything ?? JEEZ.. There is slight hope for him, i will try to do things slowly..

39

I have alot of questions

by MrsBee in

my husband is a d'fed jw and i think he is gonna try and make his way back there .

they dont believe in fate?

(long story short, we were high school sweethearts, didnt see each other since xmas 1993 even though we lived in the same city then he ran into my mother xmas 2003, while i lived in charlotte and he was here in maryland, i moved back to maryland 3 weeks later and we were married 7 months after that- i believe in fate, i dont think its far fetched to believe that god has a plan for everyone).

MrsBee

Oh My Gah! Thanks sooo much Check!!

My husband does have the itis

Thank you for welcoming me

Yes I would say Im a Christian or at least on my way to being a better one - the one thing that these Trials and Tribs did get me to do was read the bible..I swear if it wasnt for the calm that I felt after starting to read the bible, I wouldnt be having our son nor would I probably still be married, he still has NOT gone back to KH, he does talk about going alot, he is starting to have some guilt ..

I will keep these articles close

and THANKS ro offering to help

I wil probably get a little upset when/if he goes back but I will deifinitely come here before I do ANYTHING!!!

21

The Book Signing that ended in a JC Meeting...

by jesussaves in

hey y'all,.

i posted a few months back that my first novel, "what a sista should do" had been published and is now available in stores.

my very first booksigning was in june at a well known bookstore in our area.

MrsBee

*Newbie Alert*

Whats the name of your book???

39

I have alot of questions

by MrsBee in

my husband is a d'fed jw and i think he is gonna try and make his way back there .

they dont believe in fate?

(long story short, we were high school sweethearts, didnt see each other since xmas 1993 even though we lived in the same city then he ran into my mother xmas 2003, while i lived in charlotte and he was here in maryland, i moved back to maryland 3 weeks later and we were married 7 months after that- i believe in fate, i dont think its far fetched to believe that god has a plan for everyone).

MrsBee

Thanks Dave, OldSoul and Jgnat!!

I said it before and Ill say it again :) - This has helped me keep my sanity!!!!!

Jgnat - I read through your post and I have to remember to not let some of my "ways" get in the way, like how antagonistic I can be if I believe I am being forced to do something I dont want to do.. I will check up on that book you receommended as well!!!

Dave - I saved that verse that you posted

39

I have alot of questions

by MrsBee in

my husband is a d'fed jw and i think he is gonna try and make his way back there .

they dont believe in fate?

(long story short, we were high school sweethearts, didnt see each other since xmas 1993 even though we lived in the same city then he ran into my mother xmas 2003, while i lived in charlotte and he was here in maryland, i moved back to maryland 3 weeks later and we were married 7 months after that- i believe in fate, i dont think its far fetched to believe that god has a plan for everyone).

MrsBee

I assume your hubby is trying to get reinstated? Perhaps it would be helpful to have him explain from the Bible what the procedure is to get reinstated? There is terribly scant mention of it in the Bible, so he won't be able to support it. Perhaps that will get him thinking about it. (It caught my attention when I was DF'd and trying to get back in. Didn't get me out, but it definitely got me thinking.)

I asked him that a while ago and he said he doesnt know if thats what he wants. I know that he is still angry at how he was treated by some guys in one KH that he attended. Long story short one of his "brothers" offered to get him a job and help him get to a from work, then after a month or so, they guy just stopped coming to give hubby a ride and started going around the KH sayin that he (my hubby) didnt appreciate the transportation, started talking poop about him at the job etc.. About a month after that I think he was dfed (for something different) and he asked an Elder what he had to do to get reinstated and get back in good with them and the elder told him - You should have thought about that before you did what u did- WOW..he said that he was thinking in his head, I wasnt brought up in this how am I supposed to know if noone tells me.... anyways, he always says he will never go back to that particular KH, but to me its whatever. I wondered how could you

consciencely go back to anyone/thing that basically gives people the right to treat you less than a human, no eye contact, no speaking to you just because you didnt do what they wanted how they wanted. He breaks out some bible verse saying that he deserved it I forgot what it says, it says something to the effect of how it was ok for them (other congregation members) to treat him that way but I would think that Jesus' way of loving everyone and not turning anyone away would supercede treating someone less than human..

Just MPO though...

39

I have alot of questions

by MrsBee in

my husband is a d'fed jw and i think he is gonna try and make his way back there .

they dont believe in fate?

(long story short, we were high school sweethearts, didnt see each other since xmas 1993 even though we lived in the same city then he ran into my mother xmas 2003, while i lived in charlotte and he was here in maryland, i moved back to maryland 3 weeks later and we were married 7 months after that- i believe in fate, i dont think its far fetched to believe that god has a plan for everyone).

MrsBee

Thanks Big Dog, that made me smile like this ..

Another question - Why do they think that people who get excited in church, raise their hands up, sing loud and are happy are not genuine, he always says that they are showing off

I mean I will say that my husband will listen to Joel Osteen with me, read his book with me, I bought him a 51" TV for his birthday, we celebrated all holidays since we have been back together, and I LOOOOOOVE holidays :) and he knows that, and I just think about things like him not buying me a gift on the DAY of my B-Day but the day before or after just so its not a Birthday present is just ignorant as hell , I mean its STILL for my birthday and you know it.. I mean, basically what they are saying is that birth isnt specail.. I just get so mad at some of the things they believe I just want to bite something..LOLOLOL

39

I have alot of questions

by MrsBee in

my husband is a d'fed jw and i think he is gonna try and make his way back there .

they dont believe in fate?

(long story short, we were high school sweethearts, didnt see each other since xmas 1993 even though we lived in the same city then he ran into my mother xmas 2003, while i lived in charlotte and he was here in maryland, i moved back to maryland 3 weeks later and we were married 7 months after that- i believe in fate, i dont think its far fetched to believe that god has a plan for everyone).

MrsBee

*sigh*

So the hope of having a happy marraige and keeping those fools out of my house is just wishful thinking huh?

He will NOT read anything religious if it doesnt come from them. He said to me one time, you know me, u think I would join something I didnt research thouroughly ? If he would have researched like I did, he would have NEVER stepped into another KH.. I didnt find out about how bad they were until I had another friend (he was my boyfriend about 8 years ago) he was in college and he got sucked into the International Church of Christ..Which OMG was a little worse because they made him move out of the dorms and move in with them... But JW's Iguess when you are missing something in your life..It can seem like its the right thing. He had a very rough childhood and early adulthood and his ex girlfriend kept telling him they couldnt get married until she was reinsitated and he got baptised and then not until he became a Ministers Servent or whatever its called..I dont know.. But he is a stubborn individual, and I want to allow him to do it if it makes him feel good, but if its going to destroy my marraige then i will fight like the old Mike Tyson to at least try and save my life, He keeps saying, im not going to change, just wait and see.. yeah OK, I have seen people I wasnt married to change at the drop of a pen... I will just wait, but my son WILL NOT step foot in that place..They dont even have Sunday School to teach children about God and Jesus on their level..that Disgusts me