I started seeing that JW's were not for everyone. If it was gods divine plan for humanity, why is there only 6 million members? Are the other 6 billion people on the planet just plain stupid?(yes I know a lot of them are, but thats beside the point) Is the question of universal sovereignty really resolved with that percentage?
And I was getting soooooooo bored at the meetings. Does my eternal salvation really depend on me trying to be enthused while being so bored? The guilt was really getting to me as well. I felt mass amounts of guilt for not being able to completely go all obsessive compulsive about it like they want you to.