There were a number of things over the years that bothered me. I tried to "wait on Jehovah"....but eventually couldn't ignore the obvious.
First thing that got me thinking was: My dad died in 1978 of kidney failure. He was on dialysis for a number of years...eventually it wasn't enough. He could have had a transplant...I remember the discussions we had. Mom finally explained that due to the society's position that it would be canabalism, it was out of the question. Two years after his death the society changed their position to make it a matter of conscience. When that came out in a "Questions from the Readers" column, I was stunned. I stayed in for another 10 years, but my eyes had started to open.
When my daughter became a teenager she kept asking where the love was. I had always taught her that, just as Jesus said, love is the identifying mark of His followers. She kept asking where it was. Instead, she saw the gossiping, backbiting, two faced behavior of nearly every jw she encountered.
When my son was about 7, we had an elder's son his age over for a visit. They were outside in our front yard playing when a neighbor friend of my son came over. This elder's son screamed at him, telling him that Jehovah hated him because he wasn't a jw and that he would die at armageddon. My son was horrified...and the poor non jw child started crying. I heard the commotion & went outside. My son comforted his friend, while I brought the elder's son inside while I called his father to come and get him. I began to wonder what kind of religion would teach a child to hate. I began to see the subtle ways in which this hatred is expressed throughout the organization. I knew it couldn't be "the only true religion" when it was infused with such hatred.
It took a long time for me to give myself permission to really examine my belief system and the organization that shaped it. Once I started, it was like a house of cards....Once I started looking, I found the false prophecies, changing teachings, lies and all the rest. Decided I couldn't be part of such filth.
Coffee