COMF

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Posts by COMF

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  53

  WHY APOSTATES THEMSELVES ARE DOOMED!!!

  by You Know in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  all mankind stands condemned before god, and yet some are more reprehensible than others are.

  as an example, christ called the original christian apostate, judas, the son of destruction.

  so too, and not surprisingly, the activities of modern day apostates are said to awaken the judgment from of old, so that "the destruction of them is not slumbering.

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  COMF

  Kill 'em all! Woohoo! Par-dee!
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  53

  WHY APOSTATES THEMSELVES ARE DOOMED!!!

  by You Know in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  all mankind stands condemned before god, and yet some are more reprehensible than others are.

  as an example, christ called the original christian apostate, judas, the son of destruction.

  so too, and not surprisingly, the activities of modern day apostates are said to awaken the judgment from of old, so that "the destruction of them is not slumbering.

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  COMF
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  27

  Selling Ice to an Eskimo

  by Jang in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the second step is the real target.

  on the first step.

  i give a little, you give a little.. a second explanation of the ditf that has been given is called, "perceptual contrast.

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  COMF

  You might notice I block my email address on this site. This is a custom I began years ago on h2o. I did it for one reason, and one reason only: JanG

  Ayup. I managed to escape while on H2O, but just shortly after I put up my email on this forum, I began to receive emails from JanG. Recalling the fruitless efforts of many on H2O to get their emails removed from those lists, and especially recalling JanG's denial-infused defense of herself there, I haven't even bothered to ask.

  I just put her on the "Blocked Senders" list.

  COMF
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  16

  One Proud Englishman.

  by Englishman in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've got to tell everyone, my wife christina has just had a letter from bath spa university.. after 4 hard years of study on "inclusive learning", her dissertation has been formally approved, and as such, she is now officially an m.a.. ain't the girl done well?.

  englishman.

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  COMF

  Hearty congrats to the missus, E. And an M.A., too, not just an old B.A.! She's dogged determined, huh!

  "Bath Spa" University? Interesting name. Do they hold class in hot tubs?

  COMF
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  17

  Jokes - Revived

  by Francois in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  here are just a few, just to see if it flies:.

  messages to the ladies:.

  sometimes we're not thinking about you.

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  COMF

  I think this one is a bullseye on the gender-gap target.

  COMF

  Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Ann. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves.
  They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anyone else. And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Ann, and without really thinking, she says it aloud; "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly 6 months?"

  And then there is silence in the car. To Ann, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself:
  Gee, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.

  And Roger is thinking:
  Gosh. Six months.

  And Ann is thinking:
  But hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either.
  Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so are we moving steadily toward...I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we moving toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

  And Roger is thinking:
  so that means it was...let's see...February when we started going out, which was right after I took the car to the dealer's, which means...lemme check the odometer...Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.

  And Ann is thinking:
  He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed - even before I sensed it - that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.

  And Roger is thinking:
  And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

  And Ann is thinking:
  He's angry. I don't blame him. I'd be angry too. God, I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

  And Roger is thinking:
  They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say, the scumbags.

  And Ann is thinking:
  Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl, romantic fantasy.

  And Roger is thinking:
  Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their...

  "Roger," Ann says aloud.

  "What?" says Roger, startled.

  "Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have...Oh God, I feel so..."

  (She breaks down, sobbing).

  "What?" says Roger.

  "I'm such a fool," Ann sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse."

  "There's no horse?" says Roger.

  "You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Ann says.

  "No!" says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.

  "It's just that...it's that I...I need some time," Ann says.

  (There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.

  "Yes," he says.

  (Ann, deeply moved, touches his hand).

  "Oh Roger, do you really feel that way?" she says.

  "What way?" says Roger.

  "That way about time," says Ann.

  "Oh," says Roger. "Yes."

  (Ann turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse.
  At last she speaks.

  "Thank you, Roger," she says.

  "Thank you," says Roger.

  Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it.

  The next day Ann will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.

  Meanwhile Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Ann's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say:
  "Norm, did Ann ever own a horse?"
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  39

  Best Bumper Stickers I've seen.....

  by LDH in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  jesus, save me from your followers!.

  i do work for food!

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  COMF

  On the bumper of an immaculately restored 1958 Oldsmobile that I used to see in Huntsville, Texas in the 80's:

  "Your daddy bought yours. I built mine."

  COMF
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  19

  Got My Grades From College!

  by Lindy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i am so proud.

  just got my grade today in the mail.

  not bad for an old lady who hasn't looked in a school book for a very long time!

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  COMF

  Ooh, ah... an educated woman... I'm feeling aroused...

  COMF
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  16

  Sydney BBQ: HELP!!

  by Stephanus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i will probably need a lift to get to the bbq; i live in wollongong but can meet someone at a train station near the venue.

  if someone can pick me up, please email me.. yours sincerely,.

  a golf ball

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  COMF

  About cars, trucks and such:
  I hear tell they sell them thangs at various places around the country...

  COMF
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  29

  Things Only a Southerner Knows: 2nd try

  by COMF in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i can't reply to the original thread, but maybe starting a new one will work.. knows what, "well i suwannee !!

  it means "i'll swear," and the quote is incorrect.

  it's actually, "i'll swannee," or "i'll swan.

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  COMF

  I can't reply to the original thread, but maybe starting a new one will work.

  Knows what, "Well I Suwannee !!" means.

  It means "I'll swear," and the quote is incorrect. It's actually, "I'll swannee," or "I'll swan." Swannee is the corruption of "Suwannee River" that Stephen Collins Foster used to keep the rhythm in his song, "Old Folks at Home." Nobody ever says "Suwannee."

  Why "I'll swannee?" Because southern folks had a right proper fear of the lawd God, that's why. They knew it was sinful to use strong language, and they didn't want to bring the unbridled wrath of the God of the Hellfire and Brimstone Southern Baptists upon themselves by cursing (thereby cursing themselves). So rather than say, "I'll be damned," they said, "I'll swear." But even the use of that term was spooky and liable to danger, so they edited it a bit just to be sure the Lawd knew they weren't actually swearing. "I'll swear" became "I'll swannee."

  A similarly G-rated substitution for a swear word, or curse word ("cussword" - let's pronounce it correctly, please) is "I'll vow," also once common throughout the south.

  COMF
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  13

  Things Only a Southerner Knows.....

  by LDH in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  > the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit.

  > pretty much how many fish make up a mess.

  > what general direction cattywumpus is.

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  COMF

  (ahem) As I was saying:

  Knows what, "Well I Suwannee !!" means.

  It means "I'll swear," and the quote is incorrect. It's actually, "I'll swannee," or "I'll swan." Swannee is the corruption of "Suwannee River" that Stephen Collins Foster used to keep the rhythm in his song, "Old Folks at Home." Nobody ever says "Suwannee."

  Why "I'll swannee?" Because southern folks had a right proper fear of the lawd God, that's why. They knew it was sinful to use strong language, and they didn't want to bring the unbridled wrath of the God of the Hellfire and Brimstone Southern Baptists upon themselves by cursing (thereby cursing themselves). So rather than say, "I'll be damned," they said, "I'll swear." But even the use of that term was spooky and liable to danger, so they edited it a bit just to be sure the Lawd knew they weren't actually swearing. "I'll swear" became "I'll swannee."

  A similarly G-rated substitution for a curse word ("cussword" - let's pronounce it correctly, please) is "I'll vow," also once common throughout the south.

  COMF