ROFL@Alan! I cannot top that... wouldn't even try!
Posts by COMF
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30
Hair? The long and the short of it!
by Maverick inteenyuck made a comment about men with long hair.
this caught my eye because i grew my hair long as a protest to the j-duds.
i am well known in my home town and when the duds see me they know right off i have 'gone bad'!
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COMF
What about the hubbies that go bald... I say if appearance is important to the couple, they maintain it together--the man stays healthy and vibrant
Yikes! 'Scuse me, Orbit, I've gotten lax. I'll start growing that hair back right now! Sorry for being a slob and deciding to get lazy and go bald.
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35
Only Southerners know
by WildHorses inonly a southerner knows the difference between a 'hissie fit' and a 'conniption', and that you don't "have" them, you "pitch" them.
only a southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc.
make up a 'mess'.
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COMF
Born and bred (isn't that backward? Shouldn't it be "bred and born"?) in Texas. Except for a 4-month stint in Tennessee, lived here all mah life.
Y'all kin have mah share of the grits. Yuck. I'll take the 'maters with eggs.
And a true Southerner never screams obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 mph on the interstate. They just say "aw, bless her heart", and go on around her.
No, no. Anyone going less than 55 on an interstate is deservin' of killin'. Only on farm-to-market roads or idlin' through town at 10 MPH are the little old ladies excusable.
Only a Southerner knows that 'fixin' can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
I think it's even more regional than that, unless Arkansas doesn't count as southern. I had a girlfriend from Arkansas (some of you H2O old-timers may remember those days, back around '97, '98... see pic below) who just got all giggly whenever I said I was fixin' to do something (i.e., "I'm fixin' to run down to the Zip 'n' Gyp, do you woant anythang?") (Technical note: "want" is pronounced with a long o, as in "won't"). For several minutes after I said it, she would keep repeating it. "Fixin'. I'm fixin'. I'm fixin' to go. Tee hee hee!"
Captain O.M. Fate with Ordie, Arkansan Extraordinaire (and she was a fine woman, too)
(edited to add the pic, which I forgot on the initial post)
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66
fiancee committed scuicide jw parents trying to steal my babies
by larrynbabies inmy fiancee died on feb24 she was suffering from years of abuse by her alchoholic jw parents.
she first tried to commit scuicide when she was 12 then 2 more times at 16. when she was 15 she snuck out to go to a party when she was raped she was too afraid to tell her parents.
the very next day her jw brother in law molested her.
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COMF
Edited to change "(sniff... sniff...) hmm" to:
Nice pictures!
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20
What do you all think of this suit?
by berylblue inwhen i was 4 , my grandmother gave me a beautiful little gray suit.
i loved it..... on easter, we went to a park with a playground, (i guess this is why i chose "physical activities" for my category for this post) and i fell.
i cut my knee badly but, more important, i ruined my little gray suit.
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COMF
Blue - the color and fabric are lovely. Question for ya: do YOU like it? That is, after all, the true measure of its worth.
Oh, I LOVE long skirts..they cover a "multiple of sins"
Nay, fair maid, nay! The body is a temple. View it as holy. Caress it, accept it, and lavish affection and praise on it.
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61
BIG TEX & CRUZANHEART -- 20 YEARS TOMORROW!!!! (6/4/83 to 6/4/03)
by cruzanheart inbig tex, honey, it's been a grand ride so far and i look forward to the next 20 years.
you're my soulmate, my lover, my best friend, and never, ever boring.
i love you!!!!
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COMF
Wow... I'm actually jealous of a committed relationship! Hope that tells you guys how impressed I am! Congratulations on finding and keeping each other.
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25
Things my Dad taught me
by DanTheMan inthings my dad taught me.
children don't need encouragement or coaching - unspoken expectations and incredulousness and anger when they are not met are the way to go.. newspapers, national geographic magazines, and fraternal organizations are much more interesting and more worthy of a time investment than children are.. children are noisy nuisances.
keep reminding them of this by yelling whenever they make too much noise, accidentally get in your way, or otherwise annoy you or complicate your life.
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COMF
Count yourself among the lucky few, SimpleSally.
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13
A prophet...voice of God or ??
by MacHislopp into begin let's start with some ... reminders: .
the truth will not allow for all the different kinds of religious doctrine in the worldthere can not be two sets of truth when one does not agree with the other.
one or the other is true, but not both.
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COMF
The Witnesses practice Doublethink (ref. 1984, by George Orwell).
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15
Dead at Sixteen
by COMF inon may 30th, rachel marie, the 16 year old daughter of a coworker of mine, was killed in a car wreck.
she would have been 17 on june 23d.
i did not know the girl; i barely know her father, but out of respect for a coworker and enpathy for his loss i attended her funeral today.. to their credit, those who prepared for the service had done quite a fine job.
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COMF
On May 30th, Rachel Marie, the 16 year old daughter of a coworker of mine, was killed in a car wreck. She would have been 17 on June 23d. I did not know the girl; I barely know her father, but out of respect for a coworker and enpathy for his loss I attended her funeral today.
To their credit, those who prepared for the service had done quite a fine job. A program handed out to the attendees had a picture of her on the front and a poem she had written quoted on the inside. As we seated ourselves and waited for the service to begin, there was a slideshow of pictures of her from infancy up to the day before her death. The recorded music (Churches of Christ don't allow live instruments--a cult-specific quirk similar to Baptists' condemnation of dancing) was tastefully chosen contemporary Christian music focusing lightly, not fanatically or unrealistically, on hope in the face of sorrow and loss. The church was packed; there must have been over 300 people there. Lots of schoolkids, but lots of grownups, too. It must be nice to have such a support group.
The comforting mood set by the slideshow and music were destroyed as soon as the service began. Some old guy opened with a prayer that went on and on about all the reasons we have to thank God for all his gifts. Does it occur to anyone that this may not have been what the grieving family was thinking right then? The very long prayer of thanks and gratitude mentioned a couple of times in passing "the life of this young girl" without mentioning her name.
Next, the youth minister got up and verbally fumbled around a bit... it was obvious that he had prepared some notes and now that he was there in front of the congregation and the family, he was having last-minute realizations about the logic of some of his statements.
Mercifully, he didn't go on very long. He called the girl's younger brother up. This young man, 15 years old, did a tremendous job of eulogizing his sister. He brought her to life for us; he told about life with her, describing her personality and moving us all to apperciative laughter many times. Afterward, one of her best friends came up and told more stories of experiences with her, and then sang a song the two of them had used to sing as a duet with Rachel playing guitar.
Then another preacher got up, and the service went to hell again. More prayers of thanks, more fumbling and mumbling all around the reality, and some digusting outright idiocy.
Bruce, a friend and fellow employee who rode to the funeral with me, and I slipped quietly out when it came time to view the body.
CLASSIC DENIAL IN FULL EFFECT:
"Friends, let's all sing together this wonderfully inspiring song...and sing JOYOUSLY"
"Rachel lived a full life. God had a purpose for Rachel, and she fully accomplished that purpose."
"What Rachel wanted more than anything else was to be with her lord. And she has achieved that desire. What Rachel wants now is for her loved ones to join her in Heaven to be with the lord."
"This is not a sad service; this is a joyous celebration of a full life."
I was so angry when Bruce and I came out, that I said to him, "Look, I was raised a Baptist, and I know how you believe and all, and that's okay if it works for you, but I was almost choking on all the denial in that place. The girl was 16 years old. She was ripped violently and prematurely out of this world. She did not "accomplish her purpose here". She did not "live a full life". And this is NOT a "joyful celebration of a life."
Poor Bruce didn't say anything for a good five minutes.
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175
To The Folks
by Farkel inthose of you that know me well know that i'm not going to say anything or much of anything anymore in this forum.. .
however, i will be offering much of my music instead.
i won't be posting it here anymore.
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COMF
These people who think thus of course go in the class as the biggest idiots since idiots came upon the face of this planet.
Truly spoken. Since when do such people dictate, or even influence, your choices? C'mon back to reality, Dougster. Shrug it off and carry on. I miss you already.
french horn
Wouldn't that be "Freedom Horn" in today's political climate?