When I left the org. I felt like a cloud had been lifted from my head. I could see clearly and it was like a lightning bolt had revived my mind back into working! It makes me really sad to be around my mom and see how uneducated and unhappy she is. But I feel that if I try to reason with her about things on improving her life she dismisses it and would rather wallow in her own misery. I just hate seeing her like that. I remember when I was fighting my way out she told me that my brain was being brainwashed by someone else and thats why I wanted out. I said, "IM being brainwashed?!!!" and laughed. I just wonder if that stuck with her and she hasn't the education to actively question the thing that she's been fed all these years. The frustration with the pure ignorance of the whole this is almost too much. I've thought about writing a book about it all to relieve my mind of all these horrible realizations.
Krisiva10
JoinedPosts by Krisiva10
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6
A trip home
by Krisiva10 ini just got back from a trip to my home town bakersfield, ca.
i spent most of my time with my mother and grandmother who are both still witnesses.
my mom knows i pry won't be going back to the meetings but i get this feeling like she wants to ask me about it.
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CHEATING ON FIELD SERVICE
by chuckyy intowards the end of my time as a jw, i must confess to cheating whilst out on field service.. 1. i would turn up at the field service arrangement with my wife, and we would say that we were working together that day to do return visits.
as everyone went out, we would simply get into our car and drive home.
(hypocritical i know).
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Krisiva10
I don't know if this is considered cheating but my buddy and I would change our names at the door. We would say, "Hello, my name is Penelope and this is my friend Conchita." I would also just flat out add hours onto my slip. Ohh I think I did around 8 hours...4 mags looks good..10 tracts...I hated going out in service.
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A trip home
by Krisiva10 ini just got back from a trip to my home town bakersfield, ca.
i spent most of my time with my mother and grandmother who are both still witnesses.
my mom knows i pry won't be going back to the meetings but i get this feeling like she wants to ask me about it.
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Krisiva10
I just got back from a trip to my home town Bakersfield, Ca. I spent most of my time with my mother and grandmother who are both still witnesses. My mom knows I pry won't be going back to the meetings but I get this feeling like she wants to ask me about it. My grandma who seems to be getting more cukoo by the minute, is a little more bold. She hummed Kingdom Melodies the WHOLE time I was around her and at one point said, "It's funny how those songs stay in your head isn't it?" I wanted to say, "I've burned those out of my memory completely!!" She kept talking about people at the cong. and whatnot. It just got really annoying!! I wonder when the day will come when they ask me if Ill come back or even if I want to go to the memorial. What will I say without hurting their feelings? I was also downtown with some friends and happened to park right in front of a little old couple witnessing on the street. I told my buddies to make no eye contact and to run into the store. As we did that I could here them say, "hellooo.." I kinda felt bad! Maybe it was because they were so old.
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What silly rules did your congregation make up?
by weinermcgee inelders were famous for making up stupid rules with no bible base at all as an ego trip i guess, what were some of yours?
i am not talking about the stupid rules that we all had to follow, just the congregation specific silly ones.. 1. having to button your jacket while on stage (this was later changed due to all the elders having a beer gut).
2. suits only or no privledges.
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Krisiva10
I have had a wonderful laugh at everyones entries. We weren't allowed to watch anything to do with magic of course. No smurfs. I can't figure out exactly why no Smurfs. I would have been totally thrown out in some of your congs. I had hot pink hair at the nape of my neck and 3 ear piercings on each ear. Now I have 4 on each ear. Take that you stuffies!! hahaha
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I am not alone!!!!!
by Krisiva10 init took me a bit of reading through some posts to realize that this site is exactly what i have been looking for, for such a long time!!
people to share my blown away realization i experienced after i quit going to the meetings and went against my mother!
it feels great to see people who have gone through and felt the same as i and who have taken the steps to change their life.
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Krisiva10
For some odd reason I wasn't disfelowshipped nor reproved...maybe its because I did it myself? I dunno. They weren't very nice to my mother afterwards though. I can't wait to run into one of them one day with my fabulous worldly husband. Sometimes I have hilarious dreams that Im telling one the the sneaky two-faced elders wives off. I wake up feeling exhilerated with a big smile on my face! ahaha *sigh*
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"Brave New World" -- have you read it?
by AlmostAtheist ini've heard alot about this book, but i've never read it.
today we happened upon a yard sale and there it was!
so i grabbed it.. i can't put the thing down.
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Krisiva10
I love this book. The ending did make me cry though. Poor thing.
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35
I am not alone!!!!!
by Krisiva10 init took me a bit of reading through some posts to realize that this site is exactly what i have been looking for, for such a long time!!
people to share my blown away realization i experienced after i quit going to the meetings and went against my mother!
it feels great to see people who have gone through and felt the same as i and who have taken the steps to change their life.
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Krisiva10
Well, (takes a deep breath). I never "made the truth my own" haha. Even though I got baptized I just wasn't that into it. My step dad wasn't a witness, which I am greatful for now. Had he been swallowed into the studies they made him attend I might not be here now with a working brain!!! Anywhoo, I had a JW friend who I did horrible things with, drugs..drinking..sneaking around, all sorts of things. I noticed I never got into as much trouble with my worldy buddies as I did with my JW buddies. Odd isn't it..When Sept. 11th happened she freaked out and started feeling guilty about everything. So, she went to the elders and confessed and along with her confession threw my name in there as well!! I could have ripped her head off. Apparently she took it upon herself to tell my mother about all of the horrible things we had done, including that I was not a virgin. ;) So, I was given the choice to tell my elders about everything or her elders in her cong. would tell mine. Which we all know would have looked much worse on my part. I had to tell them everything which was extremely humiliating and embarassing. Through that time I started to read the Fountainhead by Ayn Rand. Something I had in my possesion for a while but had no reason to read. When I finished the book I realized that something was TERRIBLY wrong with the whole system and decided to use the meetings my mother was now forcing me to attend as an education against the thing itself. I took notes on everything I felt contradicted itself and that made no sense and would review them later. They kept "sheperding calling" me to see how I was doing and to question me on how strong my faith was. One day I had finally gotten all of my words and facts straight and I let them have it. It was great!!! hahaha I told them they wouldn't be seeing me at the meetings anymore and to please leave me alone. The clouds had been lifted from my eyes and head and all of a sudden my mind felt more clear and intelligent than never before. That was about 3-4 years ago? As much as I hated my friend, I couldn't thank her enough now. I don't know why its taken me so long to find more buddies like myself but, thank you for being so welcoming. : )
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WTS attack on Higher Education
by Ozner indear friends,.
the recent attack by the wts on higher education does me think about: .
beware everyone of using spectacles/glasses in the kingdom hall.
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Krisiva10
This also reminds me of my mother since only after I myself had graduated from highschool did I find out that she never had! Come to find out, my grandparents felt it was better that she spend her time pioneering rather than acquiring a valuable education. It infuriated me and I encouraged her to further her education and graduate highschool. She did but the years of mental brainwashing against using your brain to think outside of creating talks for the ministry school proved to be stronger than expected. She doesn't know how to utilize her education, be it small. The more ignorant and poor you are the better candidate you make as a sponge for irrational beliefs and behaviours. As for wearing glasses at the meetings, I personally used mine as a cover for when I dosed off. : )
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I am not alone!!!!!
by Krisiva10 init took me a bit of reading through some posts to realize that this site is exactly what i have been looking for, for such a long time!!
people to share my blown away realization i experienced after i quit going to the meetings and went against my mother!
it feels great to see people who have gone through and felt the same as i and who have taken the steps to change their life.
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Krisiva10
It took me a bit of reading through some posts to realize that this site is exactly what I have been looking for, for such a long time!! People to share my blown away realization I experienced after I quit going to the meetings and went against my mother! It feels great to see people who have gone through and felt the same as I and who have taken the steps to change their life. Keep up the good work everyone and I can't wait to have some great conversations with you all. : )