I wonder how many calls you'd get if you had a
"Potential Jehovah's Witness Within" Sign?
"Jehovah's Witnesses do it... on the platform", "In Suits", "on doorsteps" blah blah...
It's late.. I'm just posting to pass the time...
M*A*S*H
JoinedPosts by M*A*S*H
-
98
No Trespassing!! Breaking news for local JW's.
by Mulan inthis week at the book study, at all congregations in the u.s., a letter was read saying if you go to a house or property with a "no trespassing" sign, you must not enter, or knock on the door.
you have to leave immediately.
a sign saying "no solicitors" is too ambiguous, and they are to use their own judgment, and don't have to knock.
-
-
M*A*S*H
-
21
JWs are gossip mongers
by unbrainwashed inonce i left the jw social scene and started hanging out with "worldly" people a lot more, i realized that these "worldly" people don't gossip nearly as much as the witnesses.. i didn't realize it at the time but now i can see how much of a gossip-based social structure it all was.
jws absolutely thrive on gossip.
has anyone else noticed this?
-
-
M*A*S*H
Shhh... Don't tell anyone... but I heard xjwms used to give "talks"
I think he worships snakes or something. -
40
How do you answer this question??
by LuciousJ inok, i'm now da'd as many of you already know.
it's so fresh that my stomach turns everytime the subject comes up about religion.
however, something that does puzzle me a bit.......is how do you answer people when they ask you the question "what religion are you?
-
-
M*A*S*H
I think it's a good question.
Usually I would try to figure out why that person is asking me. Perhaps think back to any previous conversations I may have had with that person about religion or similar. I like to build up a mental image in my mind of 'who they are', their motivations possible religious affiliations, their upbringing. Once all that is carefully weighed up, as it is important, I'd probably...
1. Start attempting to bite my right shoulder
2. Develop a repetitive violent twitching in my left arm (the more violent the better)
3. Try to achieve a good foot long line of dribble
4. Perhaps try to eat something inappropriate... a cup or passerby for example.
5. Bark like a dog briefly
6. Then say "I'm *SPIT SPIT* a Jehovah's *HOWL FART (if possible)* Witness"
7. Perhaps followed by "Would you like a Bible *BIG VIOLENT TWITCH* study? *PLACE HAND ON THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD PULL THE SKIN UP ON YOUR FORHEAD UNTIL YOU LOOK REALLY SUPRISED*"
8. Jump around the person doing you're best impression of a kangaroo
9. Pretend I Spiderman and run up a nearby wall
If they're still hanging about...
10. Walk up to them with your best mincing walk... and say "You?"
11. *MAKE VARIOUS INAPPROPRIATE TONGUE JESTURES AS THEY ANSWER* -
1380
The Gentiles Times Reconsidered--Again but this Time By Using the Bible
by thirdwitness inthink about this: if seven times mean only 7 years then daniel could have simply said 7 years.
why does daniel specifically use the word 'times' rather than years?
as we have already shown daniel used the word for 7 times instead of 7 years.
-
-
M*A*S*H
Phew! What's that smell? Did someone fart in this thread? Oh yes, yes they did... I recognise the stench of 607 anywhere.
Did you know, my bottom has a theory about 607 too... fortunately I'm not actually going to post it. IT ALL BEEN SAID A MILLION TIMES BEFORE ON THIS FORUM.
PS. I've changed my mind... here's my theory on the 'TIMES'...
[Stratch Here] --- It's stratch and sniff. -
21
Going to NYC Tomorrow - Any Suggestions What to See, Hear, Eat - Cheap?
by Seeker4 inlori and i are headed to nyc tomorrow, and we'll be there 'til thursday.
we'll also have limited funds (ie: don't suggest a broadway show!
any specific suggestions on good, inexpensive things to do, places to see, music, art, food?
-
-
M*A*S*H
I suggest you find the local kingdom hall... they're free to get in. The seats aren't very comfy. The show sucks too. The company is bad. But... it is free.
-
84
Weird crop circle sighting...
by troubled mind inmy husbands cousin lives in a small rural area in illinois and over the weekend crop circles appeared in their soybean crop .
i just talked to his cousin , and she is beside herself from all the publicity .
she said the phone started ringing at 6am this morning .
-
-
M*A*S*H
Well you kinda answered you're own question there... it rained... any prints that they may have accidentally left may have been washed away. Other than that, it's standard practice to run down the farmer's tractor lines then do a little jump. If you look at photos of CC, you'll usually see they normally intersect a tractor line. Sometimes though if they crop isn't tightly packed they could just 'be careful'.
O O O O O O Gah! Text circles! -
26
For the over 50 crowd: What advice...
by serendipity in.
for those of you who are over 50, what advice regarding living a meaningful life would you give to the younger crowd?
do you wish you took a different path earlier in life?
-
-
M*A*S*H
I'm only 30... but my advice is "Don't eat yellow snow"... nope never.... "It tastes funny"
-
21
JWs are gossip mongers
by unbrainwashed inonce i left the jw social scene and started hanging out with "worldly" people a lot more, i realized that these "worldly" people don't gossip nearly as much as the witnesses.. i didn't realize it at the time but now i can see how much of a gossip-based social structure it all was.
jws absolutely thrive on gossip.
has anyone else noticed this?
-
-
M*A*S*H
Did you like, hear about Barry? Well apparantly right... he like, totally doesn't sing at the meetings... like, he just mimes and stuff. Oh, and Mark, Oh my, he sometimes doesn't even shut his eye in the prayer, and I've even seen him touching himself. I only know because Veronica told me, oh yes... the other day we were at the coffee shop - she had two pieces of cake... glutony, greed! She's probably a... a... oh my... a... oh, I shouldn'y say... a... a lesbien!!!! GASP... You can tell by the way some times, right, she doesn't follow the scriptures when they're being read out, you know. Yeah. Her son, right, her son... you know, Jonny, he got a A in Biology... that means he believes in evolution and worships satan and stuff, the A stands for Antichrist you know - it's code. I'm not letting my boy go on the ministry with him anymore.
-
84
Weird crop circle sighting...
by troubled mind inmy husbands cousin lives in a small rural area in illinois and over the weekend crop circles appeared in their soybean crop .
i just talked to his cousin , and she is beside herself from all the publicity .
she said the phone started ringing at 6am this morning .
-
-
M*A*S*H
It really quite easy to make an exact circle... you just need a rope and a fixed point. Bending over the crop is easily done with a plank. Not breaking the stems is quite easy too, as they don't break easily. I mean seriously... crop circles? A couple of chaps in a field having a laugh... or... Alien Beings travelling across space and time just to make a pattern in a corn field? O ---- Wow.. I didn't to that... It must of been the aliens.
-
20
Why Did Adam & Eve Need An Immune System???
by enlightenedcynic inhere is a question i would like answered intelligently if possible.
i asked my wife and another brother during an informal gathering of friends and was given the typical "wait till the new system, jehovah will answer all questions" response.
for the last year or so i began to seriously doubt the existence of a "loving, caring god".
-
-
M*A*S*H
If I were to answer this "itulligantully" I would start by pointing out the following.
1. Adam & Eve didn't exist.
etc...
If I were to answer this like a rather large vacuous vegetable (perhaps with mouldy bits) I would start off down the track you suggested in your post.
1. Adam & Eve did exist.
etc...
Oh, before everyone says 'Ooo... youre so mean'. I like to say in my defence, and I quote "Interested in hearing your thoughts on this."