Posts by forsharry

29

DFed, more positive or negative?

by Sheepish in

just musing.... from the vantage point of being "out", it seems to me that being dfed would be really, really painful, but ultimately a good thing.

(i was shunned by my family when i finally left though, so i know a little of what a dfed person goes through, although i didn't put myself through going back to meetings and being shunned) .

i was publicly reproved, and was not allowed to answer in meetings, but i was not shunned.

forsharry

From your understanding, it's discipline?! What do you think discipline means?

Main Entry: 1 dis·ci·pline
Pronunciation: 'di-s&-pl&n
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Old French & Latin; Old French, from Latin disciplina teaching, learning, from discipulus pupil
1 : PUNISHMENT

5 a : control gained by enforcing obedience

My father was PUNISHED/DISCIPLINED for not quitting his job. He was PUNISHED/DISCIPLINED by being Disfellowshipped, because he wouldn't quit a job that he used to support a 6 member family with. Did he try to get another job? Sure, you betcha. The elders gave him a month to do it. They gave a month for a 42 year old Senior Level Mechanical Engineer with 2 Masters under his belt to get another job that would be able to provide for his family...and when no one wanted to hire a 42 year old Senior level management-type employee and instead hire the 21 year old out of college, my dad was in a bind. So my dad did the morally right thing. He decided that in providing for his family, he was obeying god's word and in doing so was disfellowshipped because he wasn't putting faith in Jehovah that he would somehow provide for him and his family and his obligations.

Boot to the head! Right out of the organization he goes! He was a MS, with a pioneer wife, pioneer daughter and young son that was right on track to get baptised in a couple of years. But that congregation sure got all of that bad association out of their midst. Kudos to Airport Congregation, Kenner, LA, 70065!

99

Police caution woman for breastfeeding in public!

by nicolaou in

i just watched the local bbc news and there was a story about a woman who'd fed her baby while sitting on a public bench.

she finished and was on her way when a police car drew up beside her and asked her to stop.

there had been a complaint.

forsharry

Lord knows I don't. And I've got a set of em. I think I was shafted, personally. Ah well...at least I have nice toes.

However, the only women i've ever seen breastfeeding in public weren't like ripping their shirts off and slapping the baby on and daring anyone to stare at her exposed chest. They were very discreet. If someone's trying to keep it on the down-low if you will, then I say, give that person the respect and go along with it. There's nothing perverted or disgusting in feeding an infant, and why should anyone even dare to comment "Go to the bathroom, or a broom closet or the basement or the woods to feed your baby." That's just completely asinine.

99

Police caution woman for breastfeeding in public!

by nicolaou in

i just watched the local bbc news and there was a story about a woman who'd fed her baby while sitting on a public bench.

she finished and was on her way when a police car drew up beside her and asked her to stop.

there had been a complaint.

forsharry

And this is why everyone who would want to breastfeed should move to onatario, where it's legal for women to go topless! Woohoo! They got it right...it's illegal to show genitalia...newsflash! Breasts are not genitalia last time I checked. It simply annoys the heck out of me how people are "OFFENDED" by the one of the most natural things in the world. They need to go to their own island if they want to be that back asswards.

Forsharry (Of the Economy Model Breast Class)

63

ok i think i finally have made a decision

by Cordelia in

jw
friends

soooooo any of you thats been following my threads thanks (and poor u) i have changed my mind so many times.

i have finally decided that i must stop trying to get reinstated, basically i got dfed 9 months ago had a boyfriend i felt i loved, was married tho still to my hubby who is only just starting to divorce me, (hes waited coz he keeps saying we could try again for the sake of our daughter but he would expect me to be completly in the 'truth') i hid the bf from my family coz they were so heartbroke and i decided to please them i would get reinstated and then fade, but as time went on i realised that wasnt an option as with a family like mine it would be so hard to do, plus there was the bf still hidden poor guy, anyway we spilt up several times, i was a complete physco i kept blaming him for everything,.

anyway last month i put my letter of reinstatement in and sat there scared stiff that they would reinstate me (as that would defo mean the end of the bf) they didnt reinstate me, and i blamed the bf and we spilt for good;.

forsharry

Cordelia,

Like Big Willy said...you're not stupid...and there's nothing wrong with you. Being raised as a witness I looked to my parents and then the organization for my answers...I was never taught to look to myself. My husband and I joke about my decision making capabilities...we call it "Team Indecision."

You have never been shown to think and act on your own. A lot of us come from this lot...and it's hard as hell to learn once we're adults. But there's good news...you're doing it now Cordelia. You're just second-guessing yourself...or more correctly, your heart is. You've got a good head on your shoulders here, and I think asking for help when you feel overwhelmed is a smart thing. If nothing else all of our posts have simply reiterated what's going on in your mind already. There's a TON of comfort in that, believe me! And you're taking steps...small ones, but they're steps. That's where it's all at. You're doing great!

Jgnat had a great idea...make yourself a piece of paper with affirmations on it...say it as you're brushing your teeth, doing your hair, before you fall asleep. And don't give up! Don't give in!

Forsharry (Of the Pom-Pom Cheering Crowd)

63

ok i think i finally have made a decision

by Cordelia in

jw
friends

soooooo any of you thats been following my threads thanks (and poor u) i have changed my mind so many times.

i have finally decided that i must stop trying to get reinstated, basically i got dfed 9 months ago had a boyfriend i felt i loved, was married tho still to my hubby who is only just starting to divorce me, (hes waited coz he keeps saying we could try again for the sake of our daughter but he would expect me to be completly in the 'truth') i hid the bf from my family coz they were so heartbroke and i decided to please them i would get reinstated and then fade, but as time went on i realised that wasnt an option as with a family like mine it would be so hard to do, plus there was the bf still hidden poor guy, anyway we spilt up several times, i was a complete physco i kept blaming him for everything,.

anyway last month i put my letter of reinstatement in and sat there scared stiff that they would reinstate me (as that would defo mean the end of the bf) they didnt reinstate me, and i blamed the bf and we spilt for good;.

forsharry

Cordelia...I told my mother your story (she's DA'd) and she said something to me which I'm passing on to you.

"Being a woman is a bitch. Not only do we have a head on our shoulders but we have too big of a heart and it always seems to be getting in the way of our minds."

You KNOW what you need to do to save your sanity, your relationship, heck, we'll go with your daughter to. Your brain is TELLING you what to do. You keep saying that "I know, I know, I know." We believe you. But your heart is mucking everything up here. The heart wants everyone to get along, and all be friends and have everything perfect. It wants to plead and beg and give second chances. Your heart wants to run to your daddy and hug him and tell him everything is going to be fine.

But it's not.

It's very simple Cordelia. You know this already. It's either you. Or the religion. And you've said that it's not the truth. Now come on....what is the point in dying inside for a lie? So your daddy won't cry? Oh come on. Let your dad cry. He's a big boy. He'll get over this, one way or the other.

I don't mean to come across harsh and brutal here...but this is the bottom line. Take out that heart from this equation. This is nothing about selfishness...it's about self-respect. You take care of you. If people get upset because you choose you? Well to hell with them. What kind of people would want you to be unhappy? Obviously ones that aren't listening to their own minds. There's a little voice in your head...it gives suggestions to all of us...when we don't listen to it, does it not go badly? Listen to that voice...and tell your heart to take a hike in this case.

Forsharry (Of the Stupid Heart Class)

283

Time again for........ Congregation roll call

by Jourles in

it's been a while since this topic has been brought up.

use it as a chance to see if there is someone you might know from years past.

1973-1976 --- lakeside, ca??

forsharry

1984-1989 - Willingboro Congregation, Willingboro,NJ (i'm not sure if there was like a wllgboro North or what...i was little at the time. ;)

1989-1996 - Airport Congregation - Kenner, La

1996-1997 - Lakefront Congregation, Kenner, La

1997 - I performed my own 'spiritual' amputation

Forsharry (Of the It was Rotting so I Cut it Off Class)

38

Howdy

by serendipity in

jw
friends

hi, newbie here.

i'm a "liberal" jw (please don't hold that against me .

peace and love to all..... ~ serendipity ~

forsharry

Welcome aboard matey!

Welcome to the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time and i'll be happy to see those great big men with their big white coats and they're coming to take me away HA HAAAAAA......!

Forsharry (Of the Straight-Jacket Class)

14

Higher Education deal again.

by pc in

jw
friends

does anyone think this whole thing about college could be a big breaking point within the congregations.

i am sure alot of the parents of these kids did not go to college because of what the society preached.

do you think that they might just look at themselves and realize what a mistake it was not to go to school?

forsharry

I dropped out of college and did not finish. I have plans to go back, but only with learning in mind.

Well then I have to say you certainly are quite lucky. However, you did go to college...I've got to assume that you picked up telecommunication knowledge from 'somewhere.' I have a bachelors and it took me FOREVER to get a job in my field, they WILL NOT look at you unless you have either a degree of some kind (associates or bachelors), or come from "old-school" where you taught yourself and you have about 15 years of experience under your belt...and even then I don't make all that much money...definitely not enough to afford an apartment (in upscale-ghetto) on my own. I'm married and I have a roommate in my apartment so that we can make ends meet...and we're ALL college graduates. My roommate has a Masters in physical therapy. I have a bachelors in Fine Arts - Computer Graphics Design, and my husband has a degree in Engineering.

A college degree has great value in the job market, but probably not for the reasons you think. Many employers seek college graduates for their skills in writing, problem solving, organization, research, and critical thinking. These are transferable skills: you can develop them in any college major, and use them in almost every workplace.

Why is this? Because (at least in the U.S.) the majority of high school graduates LACK these skills. That was the point that I ultimately was trying to get at. If you're good at what you do, say web developing...you can have your work speak for yourself. You MIGHT be able to pick up a job based on showing the potential employer what mad skillz you be havin' yo. However, the HR department will in many cases kick your resume out because you don't score high enough on their points scale to even warrant an interview if you don't have a higher education diploma. To them, you haven't merited their attention because you could very well lack the transferrable skills that they're looking for.

But of course, what am I saying. God will provide.

Forsharry (Of the Gradjewmawated Class)

12

Being raised as a Depressed JW...

by Smoky in

jw
friends

...i was never happy, always thinkin this is it and holding back on everything that i wanted to do, why?

because that is what is taught being a jw kid.

it seemed to me that it was wrong to have fun, so i did not have any fun.

forsharry

I feel your pain smokey. I was raised a dub and it was very hard to transition from suppressed automoton to human being. What helped me? Or more accuratedly, what was a good start for me? I joined a dance group. I forced myself to get up out of myself and try something. It wasn't easy, and at first it was terrifying (I was and still am to a certain extent extremely socially inept.) But I just kept up with it. Think about what you might like...cake decorating, bird watching, book burning. Whatever interests you. :)

Also you might want to try talking to a counselor. They can be great listeners and a lot of times have some good advice to get you going again. Just remember...you've lived your whole life in this level of dysfunction. It's not going to get fixed overnight...but if you keep trying it will get better.

Also...you've got us! Never fear! We'll never tire of throwing in our two cents on anything you'd like to rant about.

Best of luck, and remember, you're not alone!

14

Higher Education deal again.

by pc in

jw
friends

does anyone think this whole thing about college could be a big breaking point within the congregations.

i am sure alot of the parents of these kids did not go to college because of what the society preached.

do you think that they might just look at themselves and realize what a mistake it was not to go to school?

forsharry

The sad thing is that most employers, at least in the professional world look at bachelors degrees as the equivalent of high school diplomas because basic education just isn't cutting it anymore. To have a high school diploma now means nothing. Congratulations, you're qualified to do menial labor. They've got to realize just how they're crippling their children to even be able to take care of themselves. But again...this is the psychosis of this religion...throwing it on god saying "Jehovah will provide for me." Oh yeah...that's contradictory. Don't test god...if that's not a test, then I don't know what is.

Forsharry (Of the I Could Bash this Dogma Forever Class)