Posts by susank

30

advice please

by susank in

.

hello.

i am not and never have been a jw, but have recently become involved with a man who is, and i hope some of the people here can help me because i'm confused.

Hello. I wanted to come back and tell you all that after allot of thought I have decided not to pursue the situiation with this man. Thank you all for your replies and your comments. Hellrider, one comment you made in particular was like a gigantic light bulb going off for me. When you said that some of his strange behaviour might be because he thought I was not 'ready' to hear the 'truth' yet, so many more things started to make sense when I thought of it that way. Thank you for that.

I had planned to stay his friend and be there for him, but when I told him that I could not accept any of this religion for me personally he turned on me so fast that my head is still spinning. Someone else here said he would some day treat me in the same harsh way he treats others. I did not believe that, but now I know it is true. He was very mean to me and said that I am of satan. He said God will kill me and I deserve that. Allot of other terrible things too.

Anyway I thank you all very much. I found so much information here, and all of the people who replied to my message helped me very much. I don't know how this would have worked out if I had not found this place. In some ways I feel like the people here have saved my life and helped me stay away from a terrible terrible mistake. Thank you very much. I wish luck and happiness for everyone here.

30

advice please

by susank in

.

hello.

i am not and never have been a jw, but have recently become involved with a man who is, and i hope some of the people here can help me because i'm confused.

susank

Thank you all very much for your replies. I think I did know in my heart allready that this isn't really workable, but it is helpful to hear that from others, especially those who have 'been there'.

This man leads a miserable and messed up life, mostly because of the JW religion in my opinion, and I had dreams of 'fixing' all of that and it all being OK in the end. Maybe I can still help him somehow, but I'm not sure he wants to be helped and I am just too scared to get any deeper and so I will have to think about that some more.

I am very sorry for all the pain and the troubles you all have gone through because of this religion. You are good and wonderful people to come here and help others like you do. Thank you.

***Also, I have edited my post to ask one more question: Do JWs who are as involved as this man seems to be lead a 'double life' because they don't really believe in the JWs and maybe want to get out? That is one part of all this that I can't understand, and he won't even admit that he's doing it really but it seems like he is. I have assumed it means he wants out but is just afraid, but now I am not sure. I still don't understand it though.

30

advice please

by susank in

.

hello.

i am not and never have been a jw, but have recently become involved with a man who is, and i hope some of the people here can help me because i'm confused.

susank

Something went wrong in my post, I am sorry all of the text didn't show up. I will try again.

Hello. I am not and never have been a JW, but have recently become involved with a man who is, and I hope some of the people here can help me because I'm confused.

He wanted me to research the religion. I've been scared and disturbed by many of the things I've found out (I just did a web search on 'Jehovah's Witnesses' and found a lot of information that probably isn't what he had in mind when he told me to research it.) I found this site and have read hundreds of the posts here trying to figure out how to read this person and what is really going on in his head.

I will try not to let this get too long. Here are the biggest issues I'm trying to figure out right now:

1) This person has been a JW his whole life, is baptized, and goes to all of the meetings and the 'conventions' that people travel to, so I'm pretty sure he is 'hard core'. But he downplays it a lot, and also seems to do some things that I've learned he shouldn't be doing (associating with me for example). Is this normal for people who really do 'believe' and are 'hard core' or might he really not believe it all so much? I can't really get a straight answer.

2) When we have discussions about 'religious' issues, the way he explains and justifies his views seems messed up and illogical. I question him on these issues and try to point out the illogic and inconsistencies. Then he kind of agrees that it seems to not make sense and then changes the subject. Is that the normal way JWs deal with it when people point this stuff out? He doesn't really try to argue or even disagree with me, just kind of moves on. So I don't know if he's seeing my point at all or just tuning it out?

3) This person is unemployed, broke, and not interested in working. He believes that he shouldn't have to work to make money. This bothers me, is this a normal attitude among JWs? Also some of the posts I've read here about money also worry me, because I am fairly well off (I work), not rich or anything but I'm comfortable. If he doesn't want to work, and also he has a family that is poor, I am worried about being wiped out by these people even though he says money isn't important. I don't know if my concerns here are justified or not.

4) This person seems to hate most people (even his own family and they are all JWs too), and is very harsh and judgemental of others. But he doesn't act that way with me and he has a few other "worldly" friends who he also treats nicely. But many of the people he hates are people who haven't done anything wrong, so I don't understand this either.

I'm not sure what I'm even asking here. I am just uneasy in my heart about allot of things, and some of the things that I have learned in my own research about all of this really scare me. This person is usually good and kind to me, and he sort of downplays the whole JW thing, but I've read so many horror stories that I can't help wonder if it's all some kind of trick or trap. I realize none of you know this guy personally and maybe it's different for every person, but if any of this stuff is standard JW behavior that you recognize as being bad news, I would appreciate any thoughts or advice.

Thank you.

30

advice please

by susank in

.

hello.

i am not and never have been a jw, but have recently become involved with a man who is, and i hope some of the people here can help me because i'm confused.

susank

Hello. I am not and never have been a JW, but have recently become involved with a man who is, and I hope some of the people here can help me because I'm confused.