Posts by Jamelle

47

Shunning and Friendship...two different things.

by gumby in

this thread is started as a result of our friend lola's thread about meeting with elders and why.. it was mentioned by our poster that many would see folly in worrying about offending the ladies that helped her and that they were not true friends since they would shun her were she dfed.. is this what many of you think?.

do you think if family or friends shun you after you are dfed or daed they are not "true friends"?.

well i totally disagree.. does a mother or father who lets their child die due to refusing a blood transfusion.....not love their child?

Jamelle

Hello Gumby,

I'm not sure what to say to your comments. You've raised a question in my mind as to whether you can really say JWs "love" the organization. You are right in that the whole experience for many of them is wrapped up in guilt and fear.

When I look back on the years I was in, and the years since I've been out, I just didn't see anything I could call love among the JWs I knew. It was all on the surface. Scratch the veneer too deep and you'd better watch out because you wouldn't like what you'd find.

Others, yourself among them obviously, have had different experiences. Just sharing my thoughts, for what they are worth...

26

Is there anything that's disconinued that you'll love to have around today?

by JH in

jw
friends

sometimes we get attached to certain products and they get discontinued for some reason.

i miss my marcelle shampoo.

it was the perfect hypoallergenic shampoo for me.. so, what do you miss?

Jamelle

My favorite shade of lipstick.

64

What First Pops Up Into Your Mind When You Hear "Jehovah's Witnesses"???

by minimus in

jw
friends

now, i think "stupid".

Jamelle

When I hear someone say "Jehovah's Witnesses" the first thing that pops into my mind is "Where?"

I get a dull ache in the pit of my stomach and I am instantly on my guard.

I tense up physically until I can determine why they were mentioned. The next thing in my mind is how can I "witness" about them. So many people, so little time, to spread the news about the "truth" of the JW cult!

39

COULD YOU KILL SOMEONE?

by Mary in

jw
friends

and under what circumstances?

would you kill someone if they molested your child or your spouse?

what about drug dealers or terrorists?

Jamelle

Scary question...

I don't think I could answer it for sure because I've never been tested.

I would like to hope that if I was in direct danger of death that I could defend myself and/or loved ones. If that meant taking a life...well if it's them or me/those I love...I wouldn't think too long or hard about who to chose.

But outside of a direct attack scenario, I don't think so.

47

Shunning and Friendship...two different things.

by gumby in

this thread is started as a result of our friend lola's thread about meeting with elders and why.. it was mentioned by our poster that many would see folly in worrying about offending the ladies that helped her and that they were not true friends since they would shun her were she dfed.. is this what many of you think?.

do you think if family or friends shun you after you are dfed or daed they are not "true friends"?.

well i totally disagree.. does a mother or father who lets their child die due to refusing a blood transfusion.....not love their child?

Jamelle

I have something to offer on this topic. I do not believe that my parents have stopped "loving" me - at least, I don't think they would feel that in their own minds.

I know that they have been brainwashed and that they believe that what they are doing by shunning me is right. I know that they hope and pray that I will come back to the JWs and that everything will be alright somehow.

But in my opinion, limited as it may be, what they profess to feel for me is not love as I would have it. It is a small, imprisoned thing, dying for lack of light. It is twisted and it is very, very sad.

And yes, it's conditional. Comparing the love between a married couple and between a parent and a child is not really accurate - at least I've never felt that way. There should be a bond between mother and child, or father and child, that is stronger and deeper than any other.

Maybe I'm naive or expecting too much. Maybe I'm just still angry at my own parents for never figuring out how they had been suckered by the JW organization.

Enough about that - as far as anything outside parent/child relationships goes in the JW congregation, I do not believe that many JWs feel real love or real loss when someone they know is Df'd.

JWs are trained to love the organization above all else - family love makes its presence know because that's hardwired into most of us as humans - and the Society hasn't been able to undo our "unwanted" genectic traits, at least not yet.

I would say, allowing for exceptions - because they are always there, most JWs never understand what true love and/or friendship is. That is why they are able to stomach the practice of shunning.

Whatever lies you are told about shunning, whatever lies you tell yourself, it is wrong. It's a tool of control and people that practice it are allowing themselves to be used as the hammer.

I used to be very angry when discussing this topic, and although I can still be sometimes, mostly I feel very, very sorry for those people who live a life where shunning is considered normal and healthy.

19

Attending the Funeral / Memorialof Your JW Parent

by roybatty in

jw
friends

i'm just wondering if any df'd or da'd here have gone to the kingdom hall to attend a memorial or funeral service for a jw parent or on the other hand decided not to attened.

do you regret going / not going?

how were you treated?.

Jamelle

I am dreading exactly this type of situation - hopefully it won't happen any time soon. I feel sorry for my parents, I think they were suckered big time. I totally disagree with their choices, but I've gotten past the worst of my anger...I think.

Going to a funeral talk at the Kingdom Hall would be very, very hard for me. I've sworn never to step foot inside another hall again.

If my sister (inactive JW) decided that she was going to go, I would swallow my pride and my emotional instability where the JWs are concerned and just go with her to support her.

But I would also have an entire entourage of friends and family (my husbands) that went with us. Probably a group of 11 at the least, plus my sister and I. We would kind of "circle the wagons" so to speak. The JWs at my old hall would either 1) Behave themsevles in order no to give a bad witness to the non-JWs we bring with us or 2) Show their true colors and give an accurate witness tot he non-JWs we bring with us.

Either way the experience would be easier to endure.

Left on my own, I probably wouldn't go at all. Maybe visit the grave site later and pay my own personal respects.

Hope this helps inspire a couple of ideas anyway. It's a tough call no matter which way you look at it.

17

Dressing for Jesus or the friends at the Memorial?

by truthseeker in

jw
friends

i've noticed on many memorial nights that the sisters will dress up like they're going to the oscars.

some seriously look like they're going to a prom.. do they dress for jesus or the friends to impress each other?.

what is it about memorial night?

Jamelle

I remember the flurry of "what are you wearing to the Memorial" talks between sisters in the weeks approaching the "big day". It was pretty silly, when you think about it. I looked forward to the opportunity to have an excuse to buy a new dress. I'll freely admit that.

Looking back, I can only judge that since Witnesses have denied themselves of anything that remotely resembles a holiday (i.e. Easter or Christmas) they try to compensate by making such a big deal out of what they wear to this one event.

In my old cong. large groups of people (in the right "clicks" of course ) would go out to dinner afterwards. This was when the spiffy dressers really got a chance to show off their duds and their superior attitude to everyone else in the restaurant.

Gag me.

17

My Memorial Experience

by XJW4EVR in

i take public transit to & from work.

i walk past a "historic" theater on a daily basis.

as i walked past this theater, there were about 8-10 j-dubs waiting for the theater to open so they can get the "best" seats.

Jamelle

Good job! That was awesome!

45

What are you doing tonight instead of passing crackers and wine?

by ColdRedRain in

jw
friends

for starters, tonight, i'm going to hang out at my local church's neighborhood gathering and get some food, then i'm heading off to the local synagouge to celebrate my hebrew roots.

how 'bout you guys?

Jamelle

I'm going to take a bubble bath and then continue re-reading The DaVinci Code.

67

The end is close! - Look at the pictures! Hilarious

by truth_about_the_truth in

here is a chain email that i got that has been circulating among the jws.. you have to be kidding me right?.

fw: something to think about wow!!!!!.

this is quite interesting seeing the progression of the stone hitting the false religious babylonish image at the base.

Jamelle

Oh - my - god!

WTF?

The sad thing is that its probably not a joke (although if it is, it's a good one). But I can see someone smugly putting this together and sending it off.

Wow.