This is a great thread!!! I'm drinkin' some rum and totally enjoying this!
How about: "We must remember, it's a perfect organization run by imperfect people"
"Don't go there --that's "'higher criticism'"
"Isn't it amazing how with Jehovah's spirit we can build a Kingdom Hall in 2 days" --"Wait a minute why are they all having mold problems now, didn't Jehovah help us build it?"
" Just wait, someday they'll see who's right"
"We must be humble" even though we're God's "chosen people"
"Why can't people see that this is obviously "Da Troof"
or from my former PO- " I'm so glad the FDS does all this work for me because I don't have the time"
also from him--" There's a fine line between being objective and apostate"