just wanted to share this personal thought.
god has never failed me, but every religion has.. .
god has always been eternal.
Just wanted to share this personal thought.
God has never failed me, but every religion has.
God has always been eternal. He has never changed. The only thing that has changed is man's definition of God which seems to change as man looks for new and better ways to control other men.
Anton
my landlord sent me this e-mail.. .
subject: read asap---important!.
> > > > please pass on to everyone you know!!.
Anton
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doctors have began prescribing suicide as a way out of pain saying that this medical avenue should have been recommended many more times in the past.
Joel,
I've read your posts in the past and we've exchanged a few. All though no one here knows your circumstances as well as you do, I think I know at least the general direction your coming from.
I've been at this point questioning the pros and cons of continued existence right after my divorce. I was bitter, dissapointed, and pissed off at the injustises I saw heaped upon my life. The more people tried to reasure me of the value of my continued existence the less I heard. From my perspective they all sounded so insincere. No matter what they said, all I heard was their desperate need not to have my death on their concience. They sounded so selfish.
I was pissed that all the hard work I had put into this life had just seemd to have gotten me nowhere, and all of these selfish assholes who wanted me to continue to suffer so they wouldn't have to deal with my death. It felt like they were just trying to lay one more guilt trip on me that I didn't need. I was ready for it all to end.
I decided that the one concession I would make to the feelings of my friends and family, was that I would do it somewhere that where a stranger would find me, and notify the authorities. I went to a public park in a nearby town with a full bottle of valium with the intent of taking the whole thing.
While I was sitting on a bench in the park looking at the bottle of pills I saw a little boy of about two or three plaing in the grass. No toys or anything, just running around and sometimes spinning in circles. I noticed him mom standing a ways off. She looked to be a piece of work, torn nasty looking clothes, hair that looked it hadn't been washed in a week. She looked like she was trying to do a drug deal or something with some biker guys.
I looked at the little boy and thought "What a stupid little fuck, doesn't even have a clue what a load of shit life has in store for him, if he did we wouldn't be having such a great time." Then I looked at him again, and thought he doesn't care because he doesn't know. His skanky ass mom is off trying to score some dope, he probably lives in some hell hole dive, but he's running and spinning and has a huge ass grin on his face. This kid was happy for no reason whatsoever I could see.
That's when things started to make sense to me a little bit to me. I can't realy describe it, but I sort of realized what people who meditate mean when the talk about "living in the now". This kid was definatley living in the now.
Focus on the things that bring you pleasure right now and do them. For me at that moment it was going to the nearest fast food joint and eating the biggest greasiest cheesburger I could get, and thinking just how good it tasted. I decided not to worry about my happiness tomorrow or the next day, or the day after that. Fuck tomorrow, because today is all you have have. Everytime I slide down into that dark place, I think about what I can do to bring myself a little pleasure and then focus on it, and tomorrow will take care of it's self.
I'm not saying that is the right thing for you Joel. I just wanted you to know I've been there too. I haven't shared this part of my life with anyone here before, but thought it might be of some help. My email is open dude, drop me a note with your phone number and we can talk.
Anton
the real truth was written 2002 and it is uncopyrighted, being kept in the public domain in order to encourage interested readers to freely make and distribute copies of it earth-wide, for example via the internet and by giving copies to libraries and individuals.
contents: .
c. the kingdom of god and its current extent.
Lemme clue you in on a few things about your SPAM N Park. You did not post this on two seperate boards, merely two diferent forums on the SAME BOARD. The reason this is SPAM,(other than the fact that most of the resonders are anoyed by your strident bleating) is because you have the same exact message wasting space on one server. If I were the host of this board I would be pretty annoyed that a lenghty post like this is stored on precious strage media twice.
Anton
Edited by - coolbreeze on 19 November 2002 20:42:27
here's a program i'll definitely want to see on november 22nd.
it seems that there are some archeologists that have done some investigating around roswell, to see if there's any evidence of a crash there 50 years ago.. http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&cid=570&ncid=753&e=1&u=/nm/20021116/sc_nm/life_ufo_dc.
i believe that a ufo did in fact, crash there in 1947 and that there was a cover up.. if it were proven that it was a ufo, how would that affect our society, religion in particular?.
Why do they have to from another planet? Why not from another dimension? How about vistors from the future?
Anton
well now that i have your attention, just how big is the turkey your going be serving for thanksgiving?
and what do you serve with it?
name your favorite side dishes.
I helping serve T-Day dinner at the homeless shelter In San Luis Obispo, CA this year. Before you start applauding my altruism though I have to admit I'm partialy doing this for selfish reasons. My daughter and son are spending the holliday with my ex and her family and this way I get a sumptious dinner and when I get home ther is no cleanup involved. Truly a win-win situation for everyone.
Anton
radical new plan.
for mideast peace.
israeli movement builds for arab population transfer
Perry said:
Show me where our black citizens are dedicated to the destruction of the United States?
Here's a bit of history.
You don't have a peaceful revolution. You don't have a turn-the-other-cheek revolution. There's no such thing as a nonviolent revolution. Revolution is bloody. Revolution is hostile. Revolution knows no compromise. Revolution overturns and destroys everything that gets in its way.
Malcom X.
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my hubby & i had a debate tonight, so i'm kinda taking a poll..... my hubby says we should stop immigrations and start closing up the borders - except in cases of political asylum or a family member.
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Eyegirl,
I guess I should pack my bags and get out then.
I guess I have a slightly biased view of the matter because I am am not a citizen of the US. I am a first generation immigrant from Germany, and have been in the US since 1973, as a permanent green card carriying resident. I have served with the US Army for 3 years and consider myself a contributing member of this society. I pay taxes, volenteer at my son's school and do what I can to make this country a better place. This country was built on the infux of many cultures and nationalities. 9/11 had nothing to do with "legal" immigration. It was a combination of evil men bent upon the destruction of wetsern society, and a breakdown in the communication within the security forces of this country.
I'm afraid that immigrants will become the scapegoats of misguided patriotism when all is said and done.
Anton
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raised some good questions but kind of got lost because of the evidence moore uncovers along the way, but it was nice to see marylin manson appearing as a paragon of virtue when compared to charlton heston.. wt content?
has the same tacky infomercial style that wt videos tend towards with tacky muzak over corny acting.. sad thing is that its target audience will probably never see it.
I thought it was an excellent movie. I drove 4 1/4 hours with some friends to the nearest theater that was playing it. I am a proud member of the NRA, but I felt like crawling under my seat whenever Charlton Heston appeared on the screen. I guess there was a lesoon to be learned, just because you believe in an organization doesn't mean you have to like the spokesman.
Anton
years ago, everybody seemed to talk to their neighbors, and knew just about everything about them, where they work, knew alot about them.
but now a days, we know much more people on the internet, than real live people in front of us.
we are a generation of computer addicts.
I live in a small community and work in the computer industry. Over the past decade I have truly bonded with my fellow geeks in the area. I have a group of about a dozen or so that I socialize regularely with. I must admit a lot of our lives centers around computers and the internet, and all social gatherings tend to be planned via email and instant messages. These are a truly diverse group of individuals who's beliefs and intrests vary across the spectrum. In time of need or cellibration, we can all count on each other to be there. This was what I was looking for when I was studying with the Witnesses but could not find. I was a bit chagrined when I found that these wordly people that I had been surrounded with had more love to give than the group of phony's I was trying to become part of.
Anton
