during my days as a witness, which was only about 10 years ending circa 1981, most of my memories revolve around how totally exhausted i always felt.
toward the last, i was dragging my family out to the five meetings a week and working fulltime and getting my quota of publisher hours on the little sheet every month, even doing the temporary pioneering bit now and again.
when i had the ministry school, i even worked a four day week to be able to give every talk on the program in case someone did not show up, which frequently happened in our little congregation west of fort worth, tx.
I was sick and tired of being sick and tired! Seriously!
Another exhausting thing about my 25 years in, was the fact that I just felt like a lost cause. I felt as if I couldn't do anything right. I had the guiltiest conscience in the organization and it just ate me right out of the 'truth'. When I look back now I have to laugh because I never did anything growing up that was 'bad' but I sure as hell felt like it was, at the time.
well i am convinced i know how the stars are treated.
being considered an apostate by just about everyone in the circuit, and now, tonight i find that the neighboring circuit is talking of our apostacy as well.
(mind you we are not d'fd, nor have we d'ad ourselves.
I actually do the same thing to the witnesses in the area. I see them all the time. I always say hi, I have to acknowledge them so they know that I won't adhere to their stupid rules on DFing.
When I worked in a local hospital, there was a girl that worked there who I used to be bf's with growing up. I almost died when I first saw her, of course, she ignored me. But, I couldn't let it go at that. So every time I saw her after that I would make sure and say hi. She never replied and always ran off like her hair was on fire!
I don't talk with my witness mother anymore. In my parting words to her I told her she belonged to a cult. I know this word is over-used, but I knew it would hurt her. Since then I have been labeled apostate by the cong. but I rather like the feeling of power that gives me! :)
i didnt see an introduction topic, forgive me if this is not the forum.. my name is kyle.
i was born into a jw family in 1981. i spent my child hood not only going to every meeting but also in a home schooling program ran by some of the congregation folks with children.
extremely cut off from the world to say the least.
Kyle,
Its a pleasure to meet you! Welcome! You will find much support here, as I have. It's funny, I too, am one of those ghosts of this forum. We kind of just float around and read and recieve the encouragement we need to re-emphasize that we made the right choice.
Your story is inspiring and I laughed out loud when I read how you rode your bike to school to enroll. That shows sheer determination. I would have loved to been witness to what the school said to your parents to allow you to go. Good for you!
Good luck and happy reading...CC
it's been a while since this topic has been brought up.
use it as a chance to see if there is someone you might know from years past.
1973-1976 --- lakeside, ca??
1976-1988 Danielson Cong in Connecticut
1988-1999 Plainfield, CT
1999-Present, happily convinced it is NOT the TRUTH
.
..are you proud or embarrassed?
I usually don't bring it up. But my hubby's family has asked and then I do talk about it. I actually am thankful for some of the things I was taught. I have a good basis in Bible knowledge and speak comfortably in front of a crowd. But all the other BS is useless.
it seems that all of the parts on the theocratic ministry school were given by the pioneers in my old hall.
also the elders were always complemented on how "sister pioneer" is so zealous and loves jehovah.
as if sister not pioneering hated jehovah.
In my congregation we had 25 pioneers. The number was impressive but none of us was treated as anything extra special. I hated the elders in our hall. They gave their talks about increasing the numbers of the 'pioneer ranks' but once you reached that goal they forgot about you. Once I became one my mother was the only one who treated me as if I was 'special.'
i remember scanning real money and with photoshop pasting the picture of an elder on the bill over the face of the queen.
then i printed many bills.
it looked very real.
In 2000 I was disfellowshipped. I showed up at the hall, the night of the announcement, drunk, with my worldy boyfriend. You should have seen the faces of the congregation. It was so worth it. After the announcements portion, we stood up and walked out.
i was thinking about the kingdom songs we sang as jw's and was wondering about you posters out there that are ex-jw's or still jw's what was you all time favorite "kingdom song" or what was you all time horrible song that we sang from both songbooks (1966 songbook or the later songbook made in 1984 sing praises to jehovah.
my favorite song was song #119 in the 1966 songbook "keep your eyes on the prize".
i like this song because it made me feel that armaggeddon was coming fast and the "new system" would be here to give me the prize.
Definately the Victory Song. The kingdom hall seemed to resound with the voices and the whole congregation gave their everything to singing it. I loved sitting in the front of the congregation at meetings because no one voice behind you interfered. Singing was the only good thing that I can look back on and say I enjoyed from that point in my life.
when growing up, have you ever notice what the "good witnesses" got away with ?
i mean if you were baptized, and pioneering or out alot in service, you couldnt do anything wrong.
i have heard of booze, immoral behaivor, and etc ... are the norm for young get togethers now.
OMG that is so true. My dad wasn't a witness and we were treated like lepers (sp) all the time. We were always corrected by the elders for every little thing.
my sister who is the ex wife of the fellow i posted about,( re: commiting suicide) was a jw for 17 years being df'd 4 years ago.
i have told her about this site and read to her the replies to the posts i have made and she has had a browse around but will not join yet as she does not have access to the internet, although she really loves the site.
she and i were talking this morning and thru me she would like to ask; does anyone here think it would get her anywhere if she were to sue the watchtower society for years of guilt and mental stress she and her late ex husband have suffered?
What about a class action suit? If the WBTS lost they would be bankrupt with all the people over the years they have helped go a little crazy. Myself included, of course.
